Wisdom of a mother

I sent an e-mail to my daughter. She's hit a wall in her life, and is thinking that her spinning and lack of control and anger issues are abnormal for some reason... =-). Those of us that have been there can clearly see where Amanda is at, and can see the widsom in this letter, and God how that amazes me that I can be so grown up and wise, and still such a restless child of Jesus, making mistakes nearly every day.

I'm doing a lot of praying for Amanda, for Fay, for clients that are facing tough life decisions. I pray for the strength to face the loss of clients. That makes me sad. But I smile for the gift of knowing them, remembering them, and celebrating their inclusion in my life, realizing that their wisdom and knowledge will help me stear my life as well as future generations.

Wow... amazing, isn't it?? All profound and stuff!!

My Dear Daughter:

Nobody loves you more than me, nobody cares more about your safety, wellbeing, and happiness than me. There is nobody in this world that you can trust more than me.

Never will your mother tell you that it's OK for you to trip off to Vegas for a week of screwing and drinking. Your personal health and wellbeing are very important to me. YES, I know you need a break, and I agree that you need a break. But - your grandpa would tell you again that you can't run away from your problems, and no matter where you go - there you are. I hope someday you'll really get the understanding of that statement, it took me till I was 30 to understand.

Here's some positive things going on with you, just in case you've forgotten: You're a very good mother, you take really good care of Fay. You took a bad situation when John left and turned it into a personal growth experience for you. Very few women would handle the situation as well as you have, and you should be proud of yourself for that. You are going to school to further your life, and get independent. You've held down a steady job while you're going to school. You've managed through great effort on your part to quit smoking.
All these are wonderful steps forward, Amanda, don't you dare take a thing away from yourself for those.

Here's something you need to hear from your mother: You don't NEED a man to fulfill your life, and you don't NEED a relationship to be happy. Happiness comes in life experience. Nobody in this world is HAPPY. We have happy times, happy moments, happy things in our lives, but HAPPINESS is a myth. As for me, I have a happy life. I have a good man, I have a nice home, a very decent job, a healthy child, a healthy granddaughter, my car runs, I'm in good health. I am happy because of these things.

The most stress I have in my life right now is trying to be a friend to you, and having you resent that I'm trying to be your friend. I always want to be your friend, and to tell you the truth and do what you need me to do to help you. I'll always be your mother, think of you as a child that needs my help, and be astounded by what a grownup you are and how well you're handling the stresses of life. I love that I can tell you anything, and I hope you know you can tell my anything. Nobody but me will be sympathetic and realistic to you at the same time, and I appreciate that same thing from you.

Have some faith in yourself Amanda, you're doing OK, people around you love you and care that you are well and have the support that you need. You need us, we need you. I'm sorry if I get pushy and try to run your life (in your eyes). I'll probably never get over being your mother, I do try to be your friend too. I love you very much. Mom.