One hundred reasons why you can't leave
My daughter informed me yesterday that she's considering moving to the Idaho border, which is about 4 hours from here. The move will take place sometime in the next two years after her friend finishes her schooling and is ready to look for work. Well, Amanda is the mother of my only granddaughter - as you all know, and Fay is so near and dear to my heart that I started swallowing air by the gallon and was figuring out just how far behind them I'd have to travel so they don't realize I'm following them, how to get out of my mortgage, sell my business, what to tell Chris...
I've been praying and crying and so upset about it...Though I know that eventually Amanda will put her family ahead and she won't leave. Besides 2 years is a REALLY long time from now, and so much will happen between now and then. Amanda's problem is she doesn't have any FRIENDS except this girl that is leaving for Idaho. The friend is leaving behind her mother and her ex-husband and taking the grandchildren. I can't understand how someone could do that - for some unknown future in an unknown place with unknown people. Rather to stay where you know and are known. Rather to have family support nearby than to have no support anywhere you look. Rather to know if the shit hits the fan that you know you have somewhere to land. You know you can go there, cry your eyes out, do your laundry, rest your soul and figure out your next move.
So - I'm starting the list of 100 reasons why Amanda can't leave town, and once I have all of them down, I'll post them here - at least the high lights of the list. I did get some consolation today when she was telling me about the Easter Egg hunt at daddy's house yesterday, and the stuffed bunny that grandpa Dave brought to Fay there. I was jealous to be excluded from the egg hunt and the fun family bbq, though it's doubtful that many ex-girlfriends mothers get invited to daddy's house for a bbq and an easter egg hunt...I'm not one of the cool kids that gets invited. I'll have to have a bbq out at my house and invite daddy and his parents and see if they'll show up.
posted by Jana @ 1:01 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
As you say there are still two years and so many things can happen. Amanda can meet a new boyfriend, little Faye maybe doesn't want to move, two years are a long time. But you shouldn't base your life on little Faye ! she is not your daughter, you have already one. And did you ask your mother before deciding a thing ? It's Amanda's life and not yours. I know it's very hard to keep away and not mingle in your child's life (look at me with that DIL ! ) but if you want to stay in a good relationship with her, keep away !!
Nothing is worse than possessive mothers ! Family is not all, friends are often far better. That's at least my experience.
Oh, bless your heart. My oldest, Jessica, just got engaged and even that is rattling, because now I know her professional life (she graduates from the university in May) but also her fiance's will factor into future decisions about where to live.
Jessica is going to be a teacher; Brandon is a police cadet. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that the demand for both these jobs will still exist locally for some time so that they'll remain close by. Jess has had schools in Charlotte wooing her, and when she told me I felt so much anxiety but tried not to show it. Because the sad fact is sometimes kids to leave. I did; you probably did, too. Of course, that doesn't make it any easier. And if it's any consolation, Jana, I feel your pain...
I feel your pain, Jana....with both of my boys living in other states...involving lots of visits when we can...but, I always tell myself that I, too, moved away from home when I was their age. Oh, to turn back time...
...hopefully, she will change her mind.
xoxo
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