Jumping in the way-back machine

Oh my gosh, was Fay ever this small? Was Amanda 5 weeks old?? Was I? How time flies.

Anyway, today the three of us were at Costco, and there was a man cooing and googling over a baby in a carrier in his basket - about THIS size, and the baby was so small and tiny and immobile and I was looking at Fay, and remember her at this size. When she'd stay put, go to sleep at the drop of a hat, smile all the time...when it was cute when she had a little gas!

Now she's independent, intelligent, strong-willed, and God help me she's only 2 1/2!!!!! I remember when she struggled so hard to say Mommy - and today she put her hand on her hip and told me "YOU WISH!!!", of course she doesn't know what YOU WISH means, but she knows how to say it! Some day she's going to be a teenager, and then an adult, then an MIT professor, or something wonderfully smart and wealth-and-power making, and she's going to look back on the days in the pictures her mother and I will have of her - like this one - to remind her of when she was small and helpless and drooling.

Fay, my darling grandchild. My heart lights at the sight of you, but also I'm saddend just a tiny bit to see you growing up and changing so fast! When you were 5 weeks old and held my finger I felt such a wonder to know my blood is in your veins and a part of my parents and grandparents and all the way back to the Hornbeks in Colorado and the Cammomiles in Utah and the Howards and Fosters in Kansas are in YOU. Yes, you come from cattle rustlers, and moonshine runners, drunks, wife beaters, dead-beat fathers, nurses, and just plain old citizens whose ancestors stole into this country on a boat. And this information is only on your mother's side of the family, wait'll you hear about your dad's lineage, you'll be wanting to wear a pillow case on your head every day!

Something for you to think about when you're a cool teenager with a butterfly tatoo and a nose-piercing (God forbid both, please)...remember when you were 2 1/2 and your got your first rocking horse? It was black and white cloth over padding and a black tail and soft fur that you loved to rub and you were very happy to sit on your "pony" saddle and push the ear buttons that caused the pony to neigh and toss it's head and wag its tail and make clomping sounds when it supposedly is walking. You tried to convince me that you needed to put your shoes on the pony, and likely would have if the feet hadn't been attached to the rocking bars. Now this isn't the old fashioned rocking horse of my generation that was just wood top-to-bottom, except for the mop-main and tail. Nor was it the one of your mom & dad's generation that had the springs attached to it and you could get those whipping across the floor if you got a good bounce going. No, baby-Fay, THIS particular pony was to be yours simply because you and another little girl were riding the floor models and I was struck with the realization that it won't be very long until you are asking me and papa to help you buy your first car -- or will it be a space ship or a land-speeder, and I wanted to be able to remind you of the day I bought you your first horse!!!

I am so inspired to stay healthy so I can always be a part of your life. It's so important to me to live a long time and embarrass you just as often as I can during your life, my first-born grandchild. Smooches baby.