Get Off The Phone

Crap goes around in a circle

2009-02-22T17:30:00.000-08:00

Well - This month will put PAID to a couple of receipts still in my "in" box.

Starting off, I was sent a copy of my deceased grandmothers will - specifically leaving out any decendents of my father- calling us all 'deceased prior to my grandmother for purposes of the will'. Nice... plus it was signed a year before Chris and I took the trip to see her. I'm having a really hard time getting my brains around to this. No- I wouldn't want her money, and had decided a long time ago that if I were to receive any money from her estate, I'd donate it to the local humane society in her name. Never in my entire life did I ever ask my grandmother for any money. And I always sent thank-you notes for any birthday or holiday gifts she sent me.

It's all so freaking ugly - Dad...cancer....radiation caused psychoses...telling everyone in the family a different story. Begging his mother to come back to Washington, begging his sister and nephew and ME to keep his mother in Denver,different stories to my brother too...stirring the shit so much it hit every member of the family. After all those showers, I find I'm still covered in shit from this mess, so in the...

Meanwhile, after discovering I've been dead for almost 5 years, I've decided it's time to finish my mother's requests and send my brothers wife the Black Hills Gold jewelry she was promised. I e-mailed my brother, he e-mailed back about wondering about it - decided better to let sleeping dogs lie, mom's will and all that crap.

Let me remind readers that his wife stuck her nose into a bee's nest regarding me and my recently deceased grandmother, and harsh words were spoken between us.

Brother is all happy to finally have right done by his wife and daughter.

PSSSSHHHHHHHHHH... but, I'm not going to be bitter and go THERE again.

I'll box up what's left in the jewelry after what I want and what Amanda wants for herself and her daughter. That boxed stuff will go to HER and she can wear it in good health.

Woman-to-woman, this won't be done or forgiven between she and me - and I said to brother that I don't want to re-hash what's between us, but for YOUR information she said that after my mother passed away she didn't have to be nice to me anymore....
Oh? You have been married to my brother for all these years and you've just been being nice to me? Boy, I'm a dummy.

Then there was the fracus with Grandma - after dad died and I was advised that Gram had paid off dad's mortgage, and asking her how much was due back after the house was sold opened up a huge argument, my brother's wife got involved, and I got a chewing on the phone from her.

Now I'm supposed to do right by this phony cow...I'd sooner hold onto those earrings until Hell freezes solid...especially after being accused of pettiness and festering old wounds and materialism, then he tries that peace, love and happy feelings barf.... oh GOD I hate it when he starts that wicken shit. He got some sort of guru thing going after his several brushes with death and bouts with cancer, hep-c, and harley- and drug- related issues -- so of course it's all about letting it go and healing waters and smoking insense burners and chanting for him...yep good.

Here is my to-do list:
Dad's estate settled - check
After the jewelry is mailed - Mom's estate settled - check
Brother and wife happily invited to go screw themselves... check and check.

The worst songs of 1980's

2009-02-03T18:26:00.000-08:00

These are ALL on my Walkman Tape

The Absolute Worst Number 1 Hits Of The 1980s

1. Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes (1980)
2. The One That You Love - Air Supply (1981)
3. Truly - Lionel Richie (1982)
4. Flashdance...What A Feeling - Irene Cara (1983)
5. Let's Hear It For The Boy - Deniece Williams (1984)
6. We Built This City - Starship (1985)
7. The Next Time I Fall - Peter Cetera (1986)
8. At This Moment - Billy Vera (1987)
9. Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison (1988)
10. Milli Vanilli - Girl I'm Gonna Miss You (1989)

I'm so happy to see this list - I know most of the words to most of these songs, brings back all the old memories of school dances and ugly clothes, oh and the ugly hairstyles!!!

Signs of the times

2009-01-29T08:07:00.000-08:00

Gosh I'm feeling OPTIMISTIC. Watching the unemployment lines get longer, the lines at the food bank are getting longer too. I was in the grocery store on the first, the number of people with WIC and food stamp tickets was amazing to me.

In light of all that, and that crazy times bring ou the worst in crazy and borderline crazy/violent people, and the fact that my daughter works in a pizza parlor and delivers, I'm reminded to remind myself and everyone else of some basic RULES of SAFE CONDUCT:

MOST important!! Be aware of your surroundings.
Watch your back. Show purpose in your walk - don't look lost or fumbling with keys or packages while crossing a parking lot. Know where your car is!
Watch your purse!! Don't leave it in the grocery cart DAMMIT!! *(I could have stolen probably a thousand dollars from open wallets and purses in carts unattended).
Lock your car doors. Put your purse on the floor in the car, or in the glovebox while you're driving.

As I advised my daughter, my boyfriend, myself, and now everyone else - since I'm so smart and all!!!! In the face of a potentially violent person wanting your money or your property - PLEASE!! Give it up! Stuff is only stuff - not worth getting hurt over.
I told her open the cash register and hit the floor. Don't try to save your employers money.
There's been two armed robberies lately in our little burge - and that's really rare.
Now is the time of crazy people with guns who need money or drugs to sell so - please be careful, someone loves you and needs you...like me!!

Hope springs eternal, but

2009-01-05T10:24:00.000-08:00

Ass-bites are always just around the corner.

Mrs. A called me a while ago - (same said Mrs. A from the previous post).

She says the girl they hired to replace me and get the cleaning done stole from her, and did I fill her spot yet? Come back on Thursday right??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? The woman came in and did a really good job cleaning up the bedroom, dusted everything up so nice....went to the grocery store, sat down to watch a movie....later on I went to bed, went to get a pill, and they're gone!!! Well, she called the police and the police say this happens ALL THE TIME!!! That people come in to older folks homes and steal their pain pills and sell them on the street!!! OH MY GOSH!!

So--- let me get this straight, I told her. You let me go and (lied to me) told me you were being forced to move to assisted living, and that someone had been hired to clean up the house so you could either sell the house or maybe rent it out. But turns out that after over 5 years with me and never even stolen a cookie from you, done all your shopping, cried with you over losing Newman, fought on your side more than once, relable, honest, always doing extra things for you, and... NOW you say you hired someone to replace me, and you got ripped off, and you want me to come back to work?

Ok - sure, I'm happy to put you back in that spot - however, the rate is $18 per hour. I never raised your rate because I thought you couldn't afford me, but you told me the other day that money isn't a problem, so that's the rate. You have to pay the same minimum rate as everyone else - period. I hung up the phone after telling her she's welcome to call me back if she wants me to work for that rate.

And I'm about done crying over it - thanks.

Reasons to be greatful in this life

2009-01-04T11:25:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm smiling. I spent several hours alone with Amanda yesterday, and try as I might, I couldn't remember the last time we spent ALONE time together. It was pretty nice, indeed, even though we were cleaning a VERY VERY nasty house. She hired me for her client, and paid me when the job was over. At least its over for now - the carpet has to be replaced, there's serious plumbing and electrical work to do.... and the State people to pass inspection, then it'll need a buff-up and then he can go home. Maybe. Another long story there.

Meanwhile, Fay is growing and changing and amazing to me. I miss her terribly because she's been spending so much time with daddy's family. The cousins are all in town for the holiday school's out break and staying with other grandma. I miss her, but would never ask to take her away from her cousins, at least not till spring when the garden is in bloom and Fay wants to be out here with us. Hurry Spring!

Chris and I are doing OK. We've gotten to spend extra awake time together with the holiday breaks from work and snow days. I'm always amazed to realize we get a long a lot better when we're on vacation together. We're starting out 8th year together. I hope we'll get to do a 50th anniversary some day.

Work wise, I'm still a necessity for most of my clients. Mrs. A's daughter has forced her to move into assisted living. I don't imagine she'll live long after she leaves her home of over 50 years. Her husband died in April, and though Mrs. A is doing alright, she is a shut-in, and is beginning at 92 to need extra help. She could afford easily to hire a live-in help, but won't do it- she wants to leave all that money to her ungreatful unvisiting uninvolved freaking grandkids and great grandkids. I hope so much that she lives long enough to spend all her money on an assisted living place - screw them all. Monday, I'll be placing an ad in the paper for work. It's hard to get work in the winter, but heck who knows? Never hears to advertise.

Meanwhile, 2008 is over. We didn't lose a dime in the stock market crunch (aka the market adjustment). Neither of us lost our jobs or were forced to shoot-to-defend our homes, food stocks or livestock. Our health was good, I lost weight, our comittment to better eating has paid off. The best part of having older clients is the lessons they can pass on to me about their time in their 40's, and what they were doing then - that put them in their current health in their 80's and 90's. The cats are all doing well. Ruby is growing and thriving and officially too big to weigh. She and Ben are great friends. The other old ladies hiss and smack and ignore, right up till Ruby is chasing and hitting and biting, then they run. It's been kinda fun having a baby in the house. Amanda and I had a couple really rough spots this year. Having a child so near your own age makes it very hard to be a mother. I hope we have hit a neutral zone and we can remain friends. I like being her friend so much better than fighting with her.

For 2009, I hope to get in more backpacking trips. I need too to find someone to stay out here while we're gone in June on vacation. Chris said he won't leave Ruby without someone to stay out here. Of course his next sentence is that the garden won't survive - which is the truth, but his first concern is that silly black cat... bitch.

Happy New Year everybody.

What's important is that we spent time alone. No Fay, no phones, no velcro baby friends... just us. Two women helping out a shut-in

Yes, Virginia, There is such thing as committment

2008-12-21T10:45:00.000-08:00

But, if you live with someone you aren't married to, no matter what the circumstances, even in this DAY AND AGE, there is blatant snubbing going on.

Of course, if the snubbing is from the partner, then we're in a different arena. This is no longer the outside looking in with judgment, it is the husband looking in with judgment, or the wife.

What happened? I'll tell you. Chris informs me "I'm going to a christmas party with co-workers of Jane's and Clarke is going to because the husband plays this instrument and we're going to play music and you can come along too if you want to". What to do?

I called Jane, left a message with Cheeta, andwaited for her to return my call. I said to her I understand there's an invitation to a christmas party....(dead air)... I said - the exact phrase was "I'm going to a christmas party and you can come along if you want to"...she says -" um - well, honestly I hadn't given a thought to inviting you"....."yadda.....blah blah"

Amazingly, I didn't tell her to fk off, or blow me, or anything remotely related to the FACT that Chris and I live together, that we have been together FOR SEVEN FREAKING YEARS!!!!! That there has never been any bit of welcome from them. Ok - so now I understand completely - and thanks. I was gracious and polite, got off the phone, made other plans.

Jane calls back...whiney tone now ... says I'm feeling kinda sick and dizzy - I'm not sure I'm going....might just stay home....Again, I was gracious and polite, hoped she felt better soon enough to get to go to her party, I had made plans and was just leaving to go... her voice brightened and she said well I might feel better after all... will you have Chris call Clark when he gets up?

Sure - bitch, you betcha and fukyouverymuch.

I left, and spent SEVEN dollars to see "The Day The Earth Stood Still". I was cheated out of a good movie just knowing Keneau Reaves couldn't make a stinker sleeper pooper of a movie, but he did.

After that -- I went home --- we got a foot of snow on the ground overnight -- and the city sent out Plow-Boy-Lite to get the streets cleared ---- yeeeesh.

I was thinking about it last night, and several nights in a row. Marriage says that he and she are one person from then on. What's mine is his and what's his is mine. My illness and debts and failures and wins are his... and his are mine. Should the day come that one of us is in a coma in a hospital bed living on wires and tubes, the other legally can say 'turn it off'. The banks, the courts, the hospitals, collection agencies, credit lines treat married people as one person. If at the start- her credit is bad and his is good, then as shared credit - in reality - both are now bad. BUT, they are one person in all those dubious eyes.

Chris and I are not married. He knows it - because he had at the last meeting with these samesaid people introduced me as his "wife - slash - girlfriend". I was very embarrassed. So, he refuses to get married because he says we are married, but he knows we aren't, and he doesn't treat us as though we are.

Chris and I are not married. I know this because nobody that knows us respects us as a couple. I know Jane expects one day soon Chris will wise up and dump me... And I know that this is the truth his mother hides in her heart. Who knows indeed what might happen.

Here is my resolution to this bullshit situation. Jane and Clark can suck my ass. I am through from this moment forward in trying to be friends. There is no reason to consider myself part of their little group, even though they have not gone out of their way to treat me in any way like part of their group. SEVEN years it took me to realize I'm the butt of jokes - again. Thanks in part to the situation with the brother I have come to realize I'm not welcome.

Chris is not in any way to refer to me as his wife - period. I am not referring to him as my husband - period. He's not committed to me because he wants to be anyway, he's committed because he has to be - in his mind - and he's told me as much. He made a comittment for life and that's all there is to it. Fine....even though he's not with the right person, and I'm not with the right person - and we both know it, and our friends know it and his relatives know it... here we sit. We have no relationship together. He works and lives on graveyard shift, I work and live on day shift. Even on our days off he seldom sleeps with me, though honestly I don't mind if he doesn't. We're both used to having the bed to ourselves, and it's hard to adjust to someone being in it. What are we doing anyway? Good question. I'm going to shovel some of that foot of snow we got overnight and think about it while the birds chirp and the wind blows.

He says that Jane called right after I left for the movie, I said I hope she felt well enough to go to the party, he said he didn't know what was going on between the two of us. And that's the end of that conversation. Yup ... it is. Stupid people in stupid relationships with stupid people for stupd reasons. I even know what the outcome could be in court if Chris and I were to break up. He's paid over half the maintenance and operations costs of the house and my car and his pickup since he moved in here in July of 2003. Legally, he is a resident and legally he could sue for his half, and it would be possible for him to force me to settle with him for his half. Interesting thoughts, sad I'm having them again.

Sadly I'm a social retard and am slow to understand social situations. It's inherited: my dad was also a social retard, and so was his dad. Amanda is better socially, but still tends to get in trouble. Chris is a social retard too, but he's talented, and like so many talented weirdo's, he gets away with a lot. He's from a local school and has friends since grade school, same with Amanda. I'm not from any school and have no lifelong friends here. My two friends from high school are in California and Virginia, and I haven't seen either of them since I moved away from Reno.

When I was pulled into the WTF girls group, that was very enjoyable for the majority of it right up till it got to be a terrible situation, then it was over. Funny how that happens in relationships with women! I liked hanging out and even felt like I was part of something, thought it turned out later on that I was never accepted as part of the group there either - I was simply the tag-along of one of the girls, and that ended badly over a man. Stupid people.

What's my choices here? I could shoot someone, but that's just another stupid choice made by stupid people. Better to distance myself again from people who don't like or accept me. I'm beginning to really understand why the Grinch moved to the Alps. Love these long distance relationships via blog that can't be anything but perfect. Can't say the wrong thing because there's back-up buttons and erase buttons. Can't be ugly or fat or zit-covered or tits-to-the-knees or any other sick anti social situation you can think of. On the blog and the web we're perfect and wonderful smart and funny. Well --- here I am happy again, accepted and warm.

Sending out that gratitude cards

2008-12-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

As I'm sitting here addressing and writing Thank-you notes to some clients, I thought it was a good time to stop and address this issue on the Blog.

When I was a kid I sent thank you's for gifts sent to me. I don't remember being badgered by my parents to do it, so maybe it was some accident of nature that I think it's important to acknowledge receipt of a gift, and to thank the person that took the time out to remember me.

When Amanda was a kid, she had to write thank you's for every gift - even before she could write! I wrote those- and she got to draw on the card... till she got old enough to write them for herself - and she did. I doubt that she still writes notes, especially when she can text someone - yeeessshhhh. She did a good job and actually wrote in the card what she did with the gift cards or cash she received.

In my opinion, Fay is not too young to start doing her own version of a thank you card. Ok - every one that will give her gifts lives here in town... but that's not my point.

My point is that even though I'm about to turn 46 (Yeeeeesssshhh!!!), I still think its important to acknowledge a gift and say thank you.

EVEN if the gift is a purple daisy cookie jar that plays a happy tune when you lift the lid - that you re-wrapped and used at the white elephant party. SHOULD you thank someone for a gift you totally hated? Does that encourage said person to buy yet another horrible gift and send it to you next year? Should you just ignore that person and hope it pisses them off that you didn't send a thank-you and they never buy you a present again? Who loses there??

I have sent thank you's for gifts I hated. I even lied and said I'm using it - or it fits great - or I wanted one for SOOOO LONG!!!!!!!!!! This of course only works if the sender is way in another state, and very very unlikely to come see inside your house, or wouldn't see you wearing that orange and purple sweater she knitted!!

So, I've written thank you's for the gifts given by my clients, and I really do appreciate that they remember me. It's nice to be appreciated, and the nice thing about money is it's the right color and it always fits no matter what!!!

Merry Christmas and happy 2009!

The end of an era

2008-12-17T12:42:00.000-08:00

I found out last night that my grandmother has passed away. She was born in 1915, just turned 93 in October.
All my life Gram and I wrote letters back and forth. She was always full of good solid advise and told me lots of stories from the family past.
The last time I saw her was 2 years ago April when we visited Colorado on our vacation. I got to see the matriarch of my mom's family - the Hornbek homestead, and I got to see the matriarch of dad's family - Gram.
Always sharp and intelligent, Gram had something interesting to talk about and something witty to say on nearly any subject. I remember the time she lived with us in Reno when she was divorcing my grandpa Jack, it was a fun time, I didn't even mind sharing my room.

Reba Fulmer Howard Boone passed away on December 16, 2008 at the age of 93. She was survived by her daughter Claudia of the home, grandsons and granddaughters, great grandsons and great granddaughters, and 6 great-great grandchildren that span the country from California to New Mexico. She is preceeded in passing by two husbands - Jack and Fred, by three children - Ron, LouAnn and Chuck, her sister Bernice and parents. Those that knew Reba will remember her for her intelligence and whit, she was also known for her talent in painting and her wonderful gardens.

Since nobody is reading my blog anyway

2008-12-14T13:36:00.000-08:00

Why not really say something terrible and risque right here in public? Sort of like airing dirty laundry. Why the hell not anyway? As I said - don't think anybody has the time or the inclination to read my ranting anyway. Nowhere nearly as wonderful and sweet as Grammie is to her grandkids. Love in her life is sweet. Gattina and her travel and cats and wisdom have won her great acclaim. Pistols of course is a soap opera with daily followers. Me... well, I'm just plodding along here.

So - here's the thing. My boyfriends best friends brother-in-law is very hot. He makes me feel silly and stupid like when I was a teenager. No - he's not gorgeous. He's just your average looking guy - some wouldn't find him all that amazing looking at all -- but when I'm around him I can feel my eye's bug out, my tongue loll out of my mouth....I feel wet and wrung out and all I want to do is jump in his lap and yell BOUNCE ME BABY!!!
Ahem....
I came home Friday night to find best friend's jeep in my driveway. First thought was that lazy fucker can't park in the yard like everybody else, has to park his drippy stupid jeep in my driveway, in MY parking spot. Ok - fine, I get out of the car, trap through the snow to the door, and there's an ashtray on the step. I HATE SMOKING and I HATE ASHTRAYS... but that made me think that Steve came along...No way would Steve come out here - he's an Anthiest and no way's he going to get trapped out here. So, I open the door - and THERE HE IS!!!!
The object of my desire, the one man in the world that could nod his head at me and make me give up my life, my job, my family, my world.... just to look into those beautiful green eyes. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
So I come in and start stammering and flop down and start taking off my jacket and shoes and deal with the cats and Chris and best friend and hotty is SITTING ON MY COUCH!!!!! Right next to me. He has his 100% jar on the table and a couple of apparatus in the same area, said Take your pick... oooooohhhhhhhh thank you - my PICK!!! take your shirt off, and follow me.
................... no.
SO then he confused me by handing me this little green package and said take your pick and help yourself.. Ok, I finally understand... takes this blond a minute. Pick one, load up and help yourself. So, I did.
Then just to cause me a heart attack, he does this funny stretch move that shows off his nice little hairy belly. I can't swallow the lump in my throat....or stop the hot flash from crossing my face.
Since I was introduced to brother-in-law I've been dealing with these sensations when I'm around him. I say stupid things, I get a dumb girl look on my face, I wonder if I could get away with putting my hand between his legs. How could I have an affair with my boyfriends best friends brotherinlaw? I couldn't is how. There's no way I would give up what I have with Chris - no reason in the world. In fact I've been putting some serious thought to this subject. What would it take, how would it work, how to approach the subject? What would he be giving up? I have run all this through my mind - there's too much to give up on either side, and obviously he's not the catch I think he is - or he'd have a woman of his own already. I know if he shows up with a woman I'll be jealous and rude.
I know this is wrong even thinking about it, talking about it is the same as actually doing it in some people's minds. I've gone all the way in my mind with someone I've never touched, who's never made one remark or look or anything. He's straight up with everyone I've seen him talk to. I like his sister a lot, I like her husband and I love Chris.
Am I unhappy or bored in my relationship? Is this the start of the seven-year itch? Is there something for me to worry about in myself? I know I've said Chris loves me more than I love him. What will keep me here? What will keep my relationship with Chris steady and on the right course? How DARE I even have these thoughts? How could I tell Chris about it? Should I? What would he do if he knew I had the hots for someone? Would he consider I was cheating and break up and move out and let the thoughts ruin our relationship? Would telling him do it?
What stops me from talking to HIM? Because saying the words to that person will forever change everything, is why. There is no reason whatsoever to put assunder everything I have worked for, that Chris has worked for. IT would cost me everything, including my relationship with my daughter and my granddaughter.
Probably even for saying this I'm in serious trouble. Ok, here goes, I'm going to publish this, and hope I'm not struck by lightning.

Who's going to bail me out???

2008-12-12T22:39:00.000-08:00

How come all you need is a BIG HUGE EMPTY pocket... and someone from the white house will come fill it up for you???

Why won't someone fill up MY empty pocket with no strings attached?
I have another question? How come the gas companies aren't being forced to bail out the auto companies??????? HHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
Why is it that the bastards can take BILLIONS AND BILLIONS in profit while the object of their affection - the automobile -- is in deep shitolees because gas prices went through the ceiling.
Amazingly - by the way.. gas is cheaper now than it was 5 years ago!!!!!! I'm amazed completely.
But - the auto makers want someone to fix their booboos, but they have all this concession money to make more-efficient cars=-- why aren't they using that money to bail themselves out?
WHY isn't BIG OIL forced to fix BIG AUTo's problem??
If I ran BIG AUTO.... the next freaking car would run on rat crap. No money to the Big Oil at all - fuck em.
Ok - getting off my soap box - thanks for listening.

HELP this kitten is trying to chew me to pieces!

2008-11-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, since Ruby was at the vet last week... she's nearly dangerous.

There's very little holding her now, she acts like she's being attacked. She's constantly biting and I've even seen her stalking me. No - this 2 pound critter isn't scaring me.

I need help to find a way to calm her down. Before the trip to the vet there was little violence on her part. During play she's puff up and do the crow-hop and bite, but now it's almost constant. Even when she's starting to get tired and I can pet her a little, she'll get charged up and start biting again.
I've tried holding her close to my chest to help her feel more secure, tried holding her down completely when she goes berzerk (that was a bad idea).
She woke me at 2:30 this morning - biting on my fingers. I tossed her away several times, then decided maybe she was trying to say she's hungry. So we staggered out to the kitchen, and she wouldn't eat.
Ruby doesn't act this way with Chris though. It's me she's holding the trip and the torture she went through getting that absess lanced. I know the only way they could do it without knocking her out was to hold her down, so I realize that's her problem, she doesn't want to be held down and stabbed again. BUT I wasn't the one holding the knife or the needle, I just took her there and left her.
So .... any suggestions? We're still giving her the antibiotics, I think there's enough for the rest of the week then she's done. So twice a day I have to sneak that down her. I try hard not to have to hold more than her head so she doesn't feel like I'm trying to hurt her.
I miss my sweet baby Ruby.
I'm feeding her Wellness dry and canned kitten food, the vet recommended it, and after reading about it - it seems to be a good quality food to me. Obviously Ruby is doing well on it - teeth and claws are strong!!

2008-11-16T10:59:00.000-08:00

Ruby is healing fine.

She had a nasty big absess in her neck. The vet used local anesthetic and lanced and drained all the goo out. She's on antibiotics for a week. What makes me upset is that they traumatized her more to get that absess drained than I think warranted. Plus they clipped ALL her claws which greatly reduces her ability to play Flying Walenza..

The trip to the vet for her was a huge dramatic trauma. All day Friday and Saturday she refused to let me hold her. She ran every time I reached to her, wouldn't play or anything. She did talk to and play with Chris fortunately... she was only mad at me for taking her to the vet! Well, that and since she refused to let me hold her I had to wrap her in a blanket to give her the BANANA flavored antiboitics from the vet. (Now WHY would a company flavor something for cats with a taste that cats hate?? How about a cat food flavor? The other antibiotic before Clavomox tasted like bubble gum... wonder if cats like that taste?)

Anyway...Ruby has decided I'm OK again. She played with me most of the night and a good bit of today as well. Her neck is healing up fine. She's eating fine, and playing hard again, so all is well. I fixed those rotton cats too, all of them got their nails clipped. And for all his posturing and hissing, Benjamin has begun to play with Ruby. He was chasing her around the sofa, but then it seemed to turn into a game, just for a minute, till he realized he was being watched, then he hissed and ran... Cats are very odd.

Working & Worrying

2008-11-13T11:28:00.000-08:00

Ruby is at the vet.
Yesterday all she did was sleep after I got home. Eat, poop, sleep... no playing, so I wondered if she was having growing pains or something??? Worry, worry worry.

This morning when I was petting her I felt a big lump right next to her windpipe in her throat. So - I called the vet. They don't have an opening until 3PM and I'm working today, so I dropped her off at the office. Poor baby - she has no idea what's going on. I put her in the carrier with a towel inside it and my sweat shirt over the top. I made her some food and took that too - so they don't feed her something she's not used to. I hated leaving her there!!! All day I'm going to wonder if she's OK. I'll call around noon and see if the vet was able to see Ruby yet and decide if that's a cyst or what it is.

Sassy (the oldest cat) was one for getting regular cysts - and usually in the area of her throat. That required her to be knocked out, and the cyst removed and surgeried up. She had a really hard time the last time because the vet used too much anesthetic on her.... gosh she only weighs about 6 pounds! I think that changed her hard-ass-kicking ways because she hasn't been in any more fights since.

More on Ruby's lump later on. Meanwhile, I'm reaserching the best type of kitten food to give her. I've been using our regular dry food - softened, and adding canned food. She's eating fine and fat and sassy - but Chris worries she's not getting enough nutrition. SO - after this vet thing we'll see. I know the vet pushes Science Diet, but I won't use it. Had bad experiences with it, so no thanks. ANy suggestions?

I'm assuming that the lump is a cyst - caused by one of the other cats smacking Ruby. SHe's just so darn tiny I hate to think of her going through surgery.

Two weeks with Ruby

2008-11-07T19:07:00.000-08:00

Well - I'm amazed to say Ruby weighs just short of 2 pounds today. She's very active and is taking quite easily to the routine. The other cats are adjusting... slowly...

Shadow still won't come out of the cat room for more than short visits. I assumed THAT would stop now that Ruby can climb the cat trees and get all over the shelves and has found all the cat beds - so there is no safety in height any more.

Benjamin comes in and eats and hisses and goes back outside. It's raining - a lot - so he's a wet mad cat. He will come around because he puts up with Fay pulling on him and laying on him.

This leaves only the pet door to be figured out by her. I don't suppose she's heavy enough to move the door yet. What a surprise that'll be for her when she realizes what's out there. Maybe by the time she can move the door it'll be snowing out there and she won't be interested till springtime.

Otherwise, work and life goes on. The garden is waiting patiently for the garlic starts that are going in tomorrow. The lettuce under the "greenhouse" is still growing and it's already been freezing out there! Chris's parents are coming in to town tomorrow for a visit. Plus I'll have Fay out too!! What a party that'll be - can't wait!!

I need a girlfriend

2008-11-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

Ummm... nope, sorry.... not that kind of girl friend. I need a girl FRIEND. I miss having a woman to shop with, have lunch with, go for walks with, discuss our men issues with. I miss my mom sometimes especially for our ability to just be friends.

When I was just freshly moved to Washington, my then-boyfriend stepped on a nail in the parking lot of the apartments we were living in, and a neighbor lady helped him remove the nail and so he introduced her and me. Lana and I were fast friends for several years. Life goes around and people change and grow apart... or something like that. Through her I met several other women and the lot of us camped and hiked and had great birthday party surprises for each other. Then our men got jealous and insisted on being included - and as we all know, once you involve men and children, all the fun goes out of a thing. So - I haven't seen any of them in a long time.

I've tried to cultivate friendships with interesting women at the grocery store.... Gosh that sounds weird. When I was going to college there was lots of women to hang around with and even have an occasional lunch, but once classes were done we all went our separate ways. I love my blog friends - most of which are on the other side of the country from me, so lunch is out without an airplane or a long long car trip. The cat loving lady at the bank is a possibility, she acts chummy and understands the hard-labor job I have, and obviously we both have a thing for cats - her husband hasn't moved out yet - and they're up to seven!! I'm still thinking about if that's some kind of conflict of interest to be friends with someone that works at the bank you do business with. I think of course if one of us robbed the place, that might look like a conflict..

I'm over 40 and very involved with the guy I live with. I like cats a lot, and love my grandchild even more. I'm politically and educationally opinionated to the point that I have enough to say to write a blog even!!! I have a lot to offer a woman! I can buy lunch, I don't smoke cigarettes, and I would never try to make time with another woman's man, because I have one of my own - thanks. I have time to cultivate a friendship - at least one evening a week. Maybe I need to run an ad in the paper:
Wanted: one interesting educated woman for occasional evenings out, coffee afternoons and deep conversations. Prefer someone who hikes and gardens and appreciates children.

2008-10-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well - here we are - week one and Ruby has put on 10 ounces. She's sleek and sassy and doing fine.

Of course- didn't this little Halloween kitten fall right into the right hands. I was lamenting a few weeks ago about Amanda's decision not to have any more kids right now - selfish snothead anyway!! How dare she not give me another grandchild just because she's single, raising a 3-year old without benefit of a full-time dad....hmmmmpphhhffff.

So - I got a baby. She's a bit less work. Up to every 6 hours on the need to eat. She plays a lot harder. Crashes just as hard though - which is very funny. She'll be tearing it up - and suddenly - poof, she's out. She's not had one accident - she knows where all the cat boxes are and uses them all.

Autumn depresses me. I'm sad to see cold weather coming, icy roads, my home 10 miles from work and town, economic pressures galore. So for something to keep my spirits up- I'm awarded a lifetime servant's contract for another cat. Ok - I'm not happy about that, but I'm thankful for the kitten and the fun disruption to life this little baby has brought. This strange lady at the bank has acquired cat #7. I'm contemplating if I want to kindle a friendship with her. I wonder if there's a conflict of interest in having a friend that works at the bank you do business with. I'll think about it.

Meanwhile - Chris is over his mad with Ruby being here. I have seen him play with her, he tells me about feeding her during the day when I'm working. He thought he lost her a couple of times and was all worried about looking for her. So - he's hooked on the baby too. I knew it wouldn't take long because he's a sensitive guy and she's a raging beauty that no man could resist!!!

Life with baby Ruby

2008-10-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

Gosh I'm feeling really old!!! This baby needs 4-5 hour feedings, then a couple hours of playtime, then nap, then starts again.
We've had no calls from any of our friends, relatives, or responses to any notes we've left looking for her family or for a new family... I'm beginning to think our house-guest is going to be a resident.
Unless - of course- Benjamin gets a hold of Ruby. He's rushed at her several times, looking like he was about to dive into a salmon casserole or something! I'm scared for him to be alone with her till she's big enough that Ben knows she's NOT food!!! I have seen documentaries where male lions will kill cubs to put a female back into heat so he can get her pregnant with his cubs, but there are no females in our pride that aren't fixed, and he's fixed too. So far we've done well keeping Ben away from Ruby. The girls are gudgingly accepting. Shadow is still staying in her room. Sassy is not as fast to hiss and smack as she was a few days ago.

Christopher is becoming quite the daddy. He takes Ruby outside with him so she can play in the grass and learn the smells of her home from the outside too. He weighed Ruby yesterday, she's gone from 8 ounces to 1 pound 3 ounces just since Friday, so the food is sticking to her little ribs.
More pictures soon, unfortunately, it's hard to take a picture of a black kitten. I'm happy to see that Chris is taking to having the kitten in the house.

I'm picking Fay up tomorrow after work and bringing her out to the house to meet Ruby and take a carrot to the horse - she hasn't been out here in quite a while... she's been busy with cousins and friends and I've been taking care of this foster baby. Ahhh motherhood... yawn...

Welcome Ruby!!

2008-10-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

Say hello to the newest member of the family: Ruby.

To say the least, we're not happy to have found this 4-week old screaming baby in the middle of my neighbor's yard on Friday afternoon. The neighbor kids had found it - and took it around to houses - including mine- and Chris said the kitten didn't belong to us. The kids decided to put it down and maybe it'd go home. Good plan - till I showed up. Turned off the engine, got out - heard that piercing terrified baby kitten scream, dropped my stuff in the driveway and went to find it. Well - there she is, and now she's living with us.

Oh she's so darling. Nothing is as sweet in the world as a baby. And Chris named her by the way. Her first name was Rosebud (guess why?). Anyway - none of the cats will have a thing to do with her. Benjamin has pretty much moved out. Sassy will allow contact with Ruby, but only till the old woman realizes she's being disrespected by a child, then she hisses and smacks. Shadow won't leave her room except to eat, and she's lonely. All three of them have hissed and growled at this 10 ounce baby, and I don't allow any alone time just in case one of them tries to drop Ruby out the pet door.

I don't want another 15 year attachment, darn it. I was starting to look forward to catless years. But now, Ruby adds at least 10 years to my sentence. Chris is not amused. He was mad most of the weekend about the lost hiking trip. Me too, but darn it, what's my options here? Leave a baby in the cold - can't happen, sorry. No woman on the Blog that reads this will likely disagree with my decision to pick the kitten up and bring her into my house. He asked if I'm totally committed to ridding our lives of this kitten, would I give her to the humane society? No way, she'll just be put to sleep, they won't try to adopt a black kitten. I called the rescue shelter, she already has TWO DOZEN black cats. I asked all my friends, and Chris has a note on the board at work. If we can find her a very good home, she can go with my blessing and thanks a LOT!!

Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with her when I go to work tomorrow. I'm hoping to figure out a way to lock her in the kitchen so she's safely away from the other cats and not disturbing Chris while he sleeps. Officially, Ruby is a foster child. I'll keep this so I can remember that I said 10 years ago that she wasn't a member, just a guest... Hahahahahaaaa.

Finally, excitingly, amazingly, wow!!!

2008-10-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

Hey isn't that a nice way to start a blog? Could be ALMOST ANYTHING huh?
Did I get married?
Hit a lottery ticket?
Find out I'm going to be a grandmother again?
Discover an-unknown relative has died and left me a VERY LARGE check?

A wedding would trap Christopher into a place he would find no escape from. As long as he's free to come and go, he's going to be a decent man, a good husband, and the best friend I've ever had. If we say I Do - then he's going to become that selfish little bastard of a man that I knew not long ago who is concerned first and foremost with his own needs,wants and desires. We've been together 7 years, living together 5. When Chris is obligated to do something - he whines, bitches, picks fights, pouts, and sleeps. When he is BOUND to me with strings attached, and not only that, that I LEGALLY have a right to HALF of all his musical equipment, income, vehicle, and everything else.... he's going to become an unlivable bastard, and we'll be divorced within a year - NOPE, that's not it.
Lottery - no way, I don't play any gambling games.
Grandmother - sadly.... sadly.....no.
Wealthy Relative - psssshhhhh --- not in this freaking family.

So - what is it?
Well back in August of 2007 Chris bought this stupid weight scale for the bathroom. And I started an Excel spreadsheet for both of us - daily weight, fat%, bone density, water% and muscle mass. Yeah fine, so?
Well, every day since that day I have weighed within 5 pounds of the same exact number. I even joked that I had named those 5 pounds because I saw them so often coming and going. haha.
About that same time I stared having trouble with a molar - it got infected, I did antibiotics, it calmed down and then would start up again. That one was pulled this past April. Then another one broke and was pulled in August, it'd been cracked for a long time, also infected.
For about a year and a half I've had a running infection.
Feeling kinda crummy and unable to lose any weight in spite of a LOT of changes in diet and exercise and lifestyle. It's been kinda disheartening in fact!
That infection is GONE GONE GONE BABY!!! And I started losing weight. Steady and today
TWO people asked me today if I've lost weight. Yep, almost 20 pounds, and thanks for asking.

Ask NOT what these lying politicians can't do for you

2008-10-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

Ask what you can do for yourselves to avoid starvation and homelessness. Nobody can get credit right now, so it's either do without or pay cash. Is your money in the bank or under the mattress? Lots of older people are pulling out their IRA's and hiding the cash in the yard.

Am I the only person who has noticed that even though Wall Street flattened out completely...nobody died? - no buildings fell? - Where did that $700Bazillion go then?

In the event that all this information on the news is real and the market crash has started a world-wide collision of the type of proportions only a mathematical genius could fathom...

Here's my plan.

1) We have our own garden. We can feed ourselves and our animals if we can grow food. This first year's garden did pretty well. I learned a lot and have begun plans for the bigger improved version of the garden for next year. With chickens, soy beans, vegetables and a small wheat patch we could survive as long as the air and water are clean enough to grow food in. We both want a greenhouse, and his idea is one with electricity and water and air conditioners and heat, assuming we still have power.

2) I'm crochetting afghans again. I enjoy the peaceful rhythm of the yarn and the needle. Plus they are warm and useful for lots of jobs and covering sleeping babies. They're a barterable item too. I'd trade a ripple lap blanket for a case of canned fruit. Also I can make baskets and Chris can repair guitars - soon he'll be set up to make quitars by hand and then he'll have a barterable skill too. Right now he can play music and sing, and that's a way to make a living.

3) What about gas prices? The barrell prices have gone back down to 1970 levels, yet the pump prices are still the 2008 level. Hmmmm.... do you suppose the corporations took a wage increase just about the time gas went to $4 a gallon? Now they can't lower the pump price because that money is already in someone's pocket.... sorry. OH- and sorry to those of you in Europe that are paying over $10 a gallon, I truly feel for you dudes. However, you do have major public transportation that we fat lazy American's just can't abide. We must be free to drive wherever we went to go, long as there's gas to get our fat asses there. After that, well, there's always walking, or staying home, or getting a horse, or just bitching about it.

4) I'm starting a worm-composting farm. Back in the olden days (early 1900's) I understand that a woman in the upper Entiat Valley had a worm farm and she made good money selling worms to fisherman. Nowadays it's illegal to fish with worms, but heck, if I can feed the worms my household garbage and they can poop out the composting ingredients that I can put in my garden and grow really quality vegetables, I'm hep to that. Anybody wants to buy worms, thats going to be a bonus.

5) We're talking about remodeling the house. We have faced the fact that the house is too small for us and all Chris's guitars. So, we need a bigger music studio. So, he's talking about building a studio out in the back of the lot. Yep - I agree completely. A self contained soundproofed studio, yep - thanks. Plus once the studio is OUT of the house, I can have a bedroom for Fay (aka guest room). I also want to build onto our room - put a door in the back wall, and build a new closet and change the current closet into a small bathroom. The only current bathroom in the house would be totally remodelled. Once, of course, the mortgage is paid off - somewhere in the next 10 years.

Will it be like the days before credit cards and ATM's, I wonder? Will a person have to make a direct application for credit to the supplier, like Grocer Sam? "Let me have this ham today and I'll pay you .25 a week for a month till I pay you in full." Sam would put that in his ledger book and keep track of your payments. How about buying a house? A potential homeowner in the days of my parents new marriage and home-buying had to have a minimum of half the cost of the home as a down payment!!! But that was only about $20,000 in 1960., when wages were $2.50 an hour...start saving baby.

The other part of my plan is to keep my mortgage and credit card payments in good standing. I don't want any newley absorbed bank's new owner to be looking for loans to call in and seeing MY name on any list of potential foreclosures. My advise to my daughter and all interested parties is the same. Pay cash, pay off your credit cards, pay off your mortgage. Find things to do to avoid boredom once the computers crash and the power goes off.

I think humans are really all just dometic pets. Well? Aren't we? We don't take care of ourselves in any serious way. In the event that the power went off tomorrow, most of us would starve or freeze to death in our own homes. Could I survive if the grocery stores all went out of business? Could I barter for what I needed? What would I do with all the time I wouldn't be on the computer or watching TV? Gladly I can't have babies anymore.

There's an upside to the complete loss of power and civilization - more babies!!!

Wow - is it October already

2008-10-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

I just realized Ihaven't been around to talk to anyone on this blog in about a month... so I'm sorry! I'm busy, I'm trying to spend more time with my grandchild. I'm having to work on advertising for my business since I had two clients die and open up two holes in my schedule and in my income!!
Life goes on however. Chris was sick for a week, and he's working too many hours. I'm working a lot and taking time to winterize the garden beds. We had a good crop for as small as our garden was this year. Next year we'll do better growing-wise and will have lots more crop from that.
The animals are OK. I keep hoping dear 15 year old Sassy will some day soon lie down in the warm sunny favorite spot, got to sleep, and stay that way. She's healthy and doing OK, sadly alzheimer' is setting in. She forgets where she is, gets lost in the house, forgets when she ate last. I appreciate that she can still hunt and kick the butts of the other cats in the house - but every morning at 5:30 she's outside my bedroom window announcing that its time for her to be fed!! Benjamin is still ripping his belly hair. I made another appointment with the vet for next week. I need the chance to get Ben in and then lock up the pet door. If he gets outside after breakfast he's gone for the day and won't be home again till after dark. Shadow of course is fine. She loves that it's cooler weather again so there's more blankets laying around on the couch and the barcolounger - more spots for her to snuggle into and be warm. Even wild-man-Ben was up in my lap the other night when it was cold outside. His family would laugh at him to see what a domestic-kitty he's become.
Healthy wise, we're doing OK too. Gosh this is boring me to sleep! Need to go read Pistol's Blog and wake up!! Bye for now - Jana

Thanks for all that input y'all!!

2008-08-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

Well, thankfully I wasn't actually waiting for my blogger friends to console me on losing YET ANOTHER tooth. Thankfully as a 46 year old woman I can (and do) make decisions for myself.

I had that damn molar pulled, and cried through it all. Losing a tooth is losing a part of your person (in my humble opinion).

On to happier things: We're going hiking/camping on Friday night and then going to the Tom Petty concert on Saturday night. What made me finally decide to do a hike-out, I hear you asking? Well, the fact that the majority of this group is older and slower than me was the winning point. I won't be the slow one, and even though I'm the newest to this adventure of carrying everything you need to camp on your back...I won't be the one Chris is focused upon - for a change. So far the backpacks are clean, the sleeping bags are washed and ready to tie on, I have my clothes and personal stuff bagged up. Next is the food we're taking and the essentials - like the French Press coffee pot, the cooking pot, and don't forget the camera!! Somebody will no doubt take a picture of Jana in her backpack so it'll get posted here for all your enjoyment!!

I've been seeing Fay quite a bit, though my daughter is still not treating me like anything more than a wad of wet chewing gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. She's smoking again and is sending cash to that idiot ex-boyfriend of hers from clear back in the olden days. God I could just rip her hair out by the roots. She tells me she's smart mature and able to handle her own life, then this crap comes up. I can understand her following so closely in her mother's footsteps, but I can't understand her hating me for it.

To pull or not to pull

2008-08-06T13:12:00.000-07:00

THAT is the question.

Well - for some time I've been grinding my teeth. There's been this chasm of tension between me and Amanda, there was that 10 days between visits with Fay. There's been a lot of tension in my life lately, and so I guess I'm grinding my teeth. The problem with this?

Here's the deal: The upper and lower molar on the right side broke on eachother. The upper one the dentist could fix with a simple filling. The lower one, however, appears to have cracked through. The x-ray doesn't show anything--because x-ray's don't show anything going on inside the tooth, can't show a crack in the root either. So - after I got my teeth cleaned, there begun this deep throbbing pain in my lower molar. I thought geez what did the woman do to me? A subsequent check showed the dentist a "rather ominous" crack. He said if it's cracked this way it's this procedure, if it's cracked this way its a root canal and crown. Or - we could try this.. or we can wait, or we can try antibiotics.

So I said to him if you can't fix it with a filling, pull it. Ok - he dug it out and filled it. After the numbing stuff wore off, the throbbing started back up. Ok - strike one. I went back and he filed off the filling some more - so the upper and lower teeth don't meet unless there's food between them. He said if the filling doesn't work the next step is a root canal and crown. Strike two.

WOAHHHH chuckie - we're talking $2,000 or better. My fatherinlaw says avoid the root canal. The dentist says that's it to save the tooth. The online system makes me think the root canal won't do anything for me, if the root is cracked this won't help. The only thing that will work is pulling it.

So the question to those of you that have been here is this: What do you suggest? Have you had a root canal? Did it help? Was the root possibly cracked to start with? I have a crown already that was a result from a disintigrating tooth around a filling. This new cracked tooth is right next to the crown, and so the crown will be the only molar on the lower side if I have the cracked one pulled . It sounds like to me I'm going to lose that tooth eventually anyway.

I guess after I get some genuine input here I'll have to decide about it. Chris of course says have it pulled. I've been reading up about in-plants to replace the row of left upper molars I don't have. I have been told to avoid in-plants - period!!!! I don't know... I'm only 46, I hate to think of my entire future life with no molars, nothing to be able to chew anything tougher than bread and raw vegetables? Oatmeal and cream corn, here I come. sigh............

My 2nd Blogoversary

2008-07-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh has it really been 2 years!!!!!!!

Well - lemme tell you, it has been!!! And what a couple years it's been. There was that broken ankle of August 12, 2006. There was when we quit smoking pot. There was when we stopped drinking alcohol.

I have dragged a whiney-blanket around this blog many times regarding my darling daughter Amanda. I think The Carpenter's song: "We Go On Hurting Each Other" was written for her and me. Yes.... we had another brawl. I'm so thankful neither of us resorts to fists, because we'd both end up in jail for assault. She pissed me off, I pissed her off, she thought I'd damage her house, I stalked her to her boyfriends house and had a second go-around in the middle of the street. She threatened me, I threatened her... Today is a bad day following a really bad night, following a crying jag on Chris's shoulder this morning. He- by the way - agrees with Amanda that I was out of line. I agree, but it wasn't all my fault.

I have also dragged the whiney-blanket around this blog regarding my darling Christopher. No body in this world knows me as well as him... no body puts up with me, or ever would as he does. Of course we are two halves of the whole. He complete's me... Seven years we've been in this relationship together. Many, Many Many times I was leaving, many many many times he was leaving, but still we're together. I hope and pray that we get 75 years together to figure out what we're doing. I thought I could figure out a way to have a surprise wedding...get his best friend Jeremy to come from Colorado, get everything set up, and have him tux'd and smiling for what would be for him someone elses's wedding. Sadly, that isn't going to work because we have to sign the marriage certificate. Silly laws.

I have dragged the whiney-blanket around about losing my parents, my brother and his bitch wife, my dead brother. Lost clients, lost friends, a blog friend I insulted (and I miss her too), lost my mind somewhere along the line....

Yet through it all has been Pistols, Claudia, Grammie, Ron, Several interesting other bloggers that have made me laugh and cry (thanks Kat and Bert for so many laughs). Thanks all for the support and the wisdom and the reason to laugh and look back, and look forward. I sure do appreciate the friends I've made and those that I have come to care so much about!!! Love and smooches, and happy 2nd Blogoversary to me!!!!!

A life lived in shelter

2008-07-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

The other day Chris and I were watching an older Danny Glover movie - one particular scene a young man saves a choking man in a restaurant by cutting open the man's throat and inserting a sterile straw. Which got me thinking....

Have I ever saved a person's life? Have I ever walked up on a burning building-- heard screaming -- run into the nearest door -- grabbed the old woman (and her cat) and rushed them to safety JUST as the building is collapsing? Have I ever been the first to come up on a car accident? Have I pulled someone from water? Have I driven someone I found laying in a heap of bicycle and flat tire and cracked helmet to the emergency room?

Has any time in my 45 years on this planet been to anyone's benefit but my own?

To all those questions above... the answer is.... nope.

I've never been involved in anything dangerous, brutal, bloody, violent, or a near-miss situation. I've never driven over an animal or hit a person with my car. Never been shot, never shot anyone, never witnessed a shooting. Never been a victim of any violent crimes, never witnessed and certainly never participated in acts of violence against anyone else. I've never delivered a baby in a car on the side of the highway. Not witnessed a robbery. Not seen or participated in any riots or demonstrations.

To all those situations I haven't ever been involved in, there is only one thing I can say

THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!

Wisdom of a mother

2008-06-07T12:50:00.000-07:00

I sent an e-mail to my daughter. She's hit a wall in her life, and is thinking that her spinning and lack of control and anger issues are abnormal for some reason... =-). Those of us that have been there can clearly see where Amanda is at, and can see the widsom in this letter, and God how that amazes me that I can be so grown up and wise, and still such a restless child of Jesus, making mistakes nearly every day.

I'm doing a lot of praying for Amanda, for Fay, for clients that are facing tough life decisions. I pray for the strength to face the loss of clients. That makes me sad. But I smile for the gift of knowing them, remembering them, and celebrating their inclusion in my life, realizing that their wisdom and knowledge will help me stear my life as well as future generations.

Wow... amazing, isn't it?? All profound and stuff!!

My Dear Daughter:

Nobody loves you more than me, nobody cares more about your safety, wellbeing, and happiness than me. There is nobody in this world that you can trust more than me.

Never will your mother tell you that it's OK for you to trip off to Vegas for a week of screwing and drinking. Your personal health and wellbeing are very important to me. YES, I know you need a break, and I agree that you need a break. But - your grandpa would tell you again that you can't run away from your problems, and no matter where you go - there you are. I hope someday you'll really get the understanding of that statement, it took me till I was 30 to understand.

Here's some positive things going on with you, just in case you've forgotten: You're a very good mother, you take really good care of Fay. You took a bad situation when John left and turned it into a personal growth experience for you. Very few women would handle the situation as well as you have, and you should be proud of yourself for that. You are going to school to further your life, and get independent. You've held down a steady job while you're going to school. You've managed through great effort on your part to quit smoking.
All these are wonderful steps forward, Amanda, don't you dare take a thing away from yourself for those.

Here's something you need to hear from your mother: You don't NEED a man to fulfill your life, and you don't NEED a relationship to be happy. Happiness comes in life experience. Nobody in this world is HAPPY. We have happy times, happy moments, happy things in our lives, but HAPPINESS is a myth. As for me, I have a happy life. I have a good man, I have a nice home, a very decent job, a healthy child, a healthy granddaughter, my car runs, I'm in good health. I am happy because of these things.

The most stress I have in my life right now is trying to be a friend to you, and having you resent that I'm trying to be your friend. I always want to be your friend, and to tell you the truth and do what you need me to do to help you. I'll always be your mother, think of you as a child that needs my help, and be astounded by what a grownup you are and how well you're handling the stresses of life. I love that I can tell you anything, and I hope you know you can tell my anything. Nobody but me will be sympathetic and realistic to you at the same time, and I appreciate that same thing from you.

Have some faith in yourself Amanda, you're doing OK, people around you love you and care that you are well and have the support that you need. You need us, we need you. I'm sorry if I get pushy and try to run your life (in your eyes). I'll probably never get over being your mother, I do try to be your friend too. I love you very much. Mom.

Rockin' at the Gorge!!!

2008-06-02T00:32:00.000-07:00

Well the concert was a huge success in my humble opinion. Our seats weren't the greatest ever, we were left of the stage and there were some columns in the way of a clear view, but I could see all the members of Rush fairly well without the binoculars, even better with them. Watched Neil Peart twirling his drum sticks...and was utterly amazed when he hit a button, stood up, and his drum set turned clear around. Basically he has two drum sets put together, he just turns the set to the front that he needs for particular music. Wow....
I don't know much of their music, I'm really a fan of the drummer...but I was totally blown away by the fact that these guys have been playing music together since sometime in the early 70's (at least that's when they hit the big time)...so they're in their late 50's all of them, and they can perform for over 3 hours and only take a couple short breaks in there. No other group performs with them, just the three of them, with some hangers-on to hand freshly tuned guitars and bases to the players. What a great job that would be huh? The paid guitar tuner and handler.
The 20,000 or so people that were there were well behaved from my vantage point, the worst thing I saw was a couple punk kids throwing their water bottles at others in the crowd. Also saw a couple people smoking pot, but oh what the heck, it was after all, a rock concert. Saw some guy peeing on a car tire, hoping it was his car. Leaving the concert arena for the parking area, the entire group is walking up a hill - this is my 5th time to the Gorge, and always someone starts a moo-ing movement as the crowd is walking out. Kinda funny to hear couple hundred people mooing. Then there's a big cheer when the parking area comes into site, it's maybe a 1/2 mile walk from the parking area to the concert arena.
Otherwise, the video show was great and the lazer show was pretty great too. The Gorge was VERY windy, but the rain held off till the show was over and we were on our way home. This place - the Gorge at George - has an excellent method for getting 20,000 people out of a small area with very little trouble. It took us about 45 minutes to get to the concert, and just over an hour to get home. My ears are still ringing, and I've still got this stupid smile on my face!!!

Beauty, Rush and Movies

2008-05-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

Isn't that a beautiful shot? This was a good day in an amazing place, two happy, peaceful, rested people...We were in Canyon Lands National Park in Utah, it was windy and cold, but ohhhhhh the views.

We got the bikes out for about an hour ride tonight - what a treat. The weather was so nice and the ride was relaxing and a good workout. I finally asked Chris what he thinks of my haircut. He said he likes it and hopes I'll keep it this way. Hurray, we have consensus. Tomorrow is slated for a 5 mile hike - we have to start early, we'll see how far that goes. I talked to him about the gym I'm looking into and he's encouraging on that too.

I'm very much looking forward to the concert in two weeks. The 31th is RUSH at the Gorge in George, WA. Neal Pert is THE drummer in my humble opinion, and that's about all I can state about RUSH. The lead singer and base player sings kinda whiney to me - I first thought he was a girl with a deep kinda voice, nope. He never appears to sweat in their DVD's, Neal doesn't sweat either, but he wears a headband when he plays the drums.

I want to see Chronicles of Narnia -Prince Caspian. I loved the first movie, saw it like 10 times!!! But, the reviews are bleak on this second installment, the story line seems pretty silly after all the possibilities from the first movie. My daughter and Chris were not impressed with Narnia, neither got it the way I guess I did, so suppose I'll check out a matinee for Wednesday afternoon. Chris'll go with me to see the new Indiana Jones movie - of course.

What do those darn dreams mean?

2008-05-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

Almost every night I dream of some place from my past. The house of a friend from grade school I think is pretty prevalent in my dreams, but I can't quite for the life of me remember the person anymore. I remember being in that house once or twice, can't decide exactly why it sticks in my way-back machine.
I dreamt last night of my daughter, her ex-boyfriend, and his mother. We were having a discussion, I couldn't hear what was being said out loud (guess that's common in dream land) but I knew non of us was particularly happy. Amanda was doing dishes and I was helping her. John had a big backpack and just before I woke up he walked out carrying it, and Amanda followed him out. I could see his mother in the dream, but she didn't have much to say, I think she was on her computer or the phone or something. I didn't see Fay there either. We were in that dark house from the upper paragraph.
She and I aren't getting along these days. I called her last night and got the brush like someone trying to collect money (I've had that job - I know that tone of voice). We talked about David Cook for a minute, I asked about her dental shadowing that she did on Tuesday, she said it went OK, but they didn't let her DO anything, then it was time for David Cook to start singing again, so I told her I'll call you back. After he was done singing, I called her back, and got WHAT WOMAN WHAT DO YOU WANT?? And Fay was crying, and I totally forgot what I called to tell her - which is that David Cook was born in 1982, same year as her, and the AC on his guitar is for his brothers Aaron and Andrew. One of them is sick with cancer...got that from Wikipedia. So - now you know something I wanted to share with her.

After that discussion on Monday - she hasn't called me. I haven't seen her or Fay since Sunday and I miss them both. Knowing her like I do - there's something going on she doesn't want to talk to me about... OK, fine. I'm her biggest fan, but also her biggest critic. I've protected her, given her money, bought things for her and Fay, given of my time on many occassions to the detriment of my relationship with Chris. Taken time from myself, my job, and my boyfriend to help her in times of her needing - which I don't care about after all she's my child and I love her and I will continue to do for her when she needs me. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND however, is why I'm the bad guy here.
Any suggestions?

Toeing the line

2008-05-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

I wonder sometimes how a mother can toe that fine line between being a parent, being a friend, and being a pain in the fanny to the children. After all, even though they're adults - they're still children to their parents.

I've talked before about how my relationship with my daughter Amanda is different from most relationships between kids and parents. Whatever, she's almost 26 and I'm almost 46, so we've been together a long time as a family unit. But for a year that she refused to speak to me because I asked her to move out, there has been a rickety bridge between us all our lives together. Sometimes when I'm needed, I'm her best friend. Other times when I'm not needed, I become a burden to her, taking over and doing things I'm not welcome to.

So, here we are at this place in our relationship again. She refuses to tell me what she did yesterday, which tells her mother that she spent the night and day with Fay's Daddy doing a family Mother's day thing. For that - I'm happy as a clam. She should have her family with her on the day set aside to celebrate what a mother goes through for her child - not only pregnancy, labor and delivery... there's a LOT to being a mother.

I have taken time from my life to take care of my grandchild to relieve Amanda for some time to study... to have a small social life... to have a little ALONE time which we all know we need. Somehow that's turned into I'm overstepping my place, talking out of turn, being a pushy grandma....

I realize she's quitting smoking. Something she DOESN'T want to do but knows if she's going to succeed in a dental profession it's necessary. She's taking a prescription quit-smoking-aid, something called Chantix. She says she feels weird from the medication.

I realize she's halfway to her goal of being a dental assistant, quitting the pizza place, moving forward in her life and goals and for those things I'M SO DARN happy for her I could do the happy dance right here in my bedroom.

I'm told that I'm trying to take away "Daddy" time with Fay - which I AM NOT. Somehow in her mind I've become too pushy. Fay is only going to be 2 1/2 once in her life, and I'm young and healthy and I want to enjoy this time. In fact, Gosh darnit, I demand the right to enjoy this time. She's already saying to me that she can do this herself - or do that herself. She can climb the monkey bars all alone, go up the ladder and down the slide herself. Pick out and put on her own clothes, put her shoes on (sometimes not on the right feet though). She is learning how to use the bathroom, still not totally HEP to that idea, but hey she's working on it. Going to spend most of her adult life using a toilet, no real hurry to get started now... =-).

So, knowing how hard-headed my daughter is, here is my response to this situation. I'm going to wait for my child to call me and ask why she hasn't heard from me and tell me when she needs me to take Fay. Knowing her as I do...she's going to realize in a couple days that she needs me again, and we'll be back on that rickety bridge. Ahhhhhhhhhhh motherhood.

You really can't go home again

2008-04-26T20:34:00.000-07:00

Here's me, oh and that's Chris, and we're in Reno - my new haircut for your viewing pleasure. We were heading for Boca and I had said to Chris I want to get my hair cut...he did the paper thing and showed me how much time effort and money I'd save if I'd cut off that 2 feet of hair that I wash and braid and put up in clips. So - I did it. Last time I cut my hair was about 4 years ago, but this is THE shortest I've ever cut it.

I was wafting nostalgic when I was going on about getting to go HOME to Reno for a few days: stomp my old stomping grounds, be a kid again for a while, re-live those bye gone days of way back when.

Then I got there, and it's all so darn different, I don't know anyone, don't recognize old places I was when I was young, didn't see anyone I knew!! When I lived there and grew up there I couldn't walk down any street or go in a business without seeing someone I knew. Where is everybody anyway??

Taking my dad's ashes up to Boca was quite an experience. I was alone for this. I talked to this bag of ashes. I said that I have fulfilled the promise that I made, and it's finished now. I threw several handfulls of ashes into the air, and left the rest on the shore of Boca reservoir, with the wind and the water carrying them away up the river. The shoreline and fishing areas of my childhood are gone now. I think I picked the right place and my dad is happy knowing the earthly part of him is where he was happiest on this earth. I did meet finally with a classmate of my mom's...it was great to meet Marilyn in person. She shared her home, and we visited for a couple hours, then Chris and I went to the Peppermill for dinner and of course had to gamble a bit.
Used to be different, you'd buy change, put money into the machine, pull a handle, and winnings would come plunking out into a tray at the bottom of the machine. Now you put in cash, the machine keeps track of your "credits", you push a bet button, having no handles to pull or buttons to push. The machine tells you what is a win, and you get to sit and stare blindly at the screen - sort of like TV or computers, a placid existence. You print out a voucher for your winnings, feed it into a cash machine, and walk away (hopefully) with more than you put into the other machine. We didn't drink, Chris did have a beer with pizza one night. He almost bought a bottle of Tequila he said, but I thanked him for not, because I don't like the person I become when I drink - and Tequila is the worst of all when inside me.

Anyway...back to the trip. We went out to the middle (literally) of nowhere in Moab Utah and spent a day wandering in the beautiful excellent country that abounds there - you can look up the site if you care to see some amazing stuff. This trip was spent in canyon lands - we hiked out to the very tip of a peninsula called the Island in the Sky - about a 2 1/2 mile walk and we could see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles...........BUT... the freaking wind was blowing from the second we left our driveway last Friday until we pulled into our driveway this Friday night. It was cold, blowy, miserable. There was no camping because it was too cold blowy and miserable. The motels we stayed in were NOT home. The food we ate was NOT our normal food, and I was HOPPING happy to get home and eat my own food in my own house cooked with my own hands.

We left Salt Lake City on Friday morning and drove home - it took 13 hours, but we made it. Chris said lets go home, I said OKEY DOKE lets go home, so we did. We got home about midnight, Chris went to bed, I stayed up till about 3:30, too much coffee. I called the family members this morning that care that we made it home, and so here we are .... Home.

However...Chris and I reconnected, we had a very good time together, companionship and amicable co-existence. We communicated, cooperated, didn't fight for an entire week!!! Not one snarly comment, no rude responses, no judgement or bickering at all. WOW it was such a great trip! Today we worked in the yard, I offered to help work in the yard and work on the garden, so we did. We actually worked together quite well, accomplishing nearly everything that needed to get done, but there is tomorrow to work out there too, and we'll get some planting done then. The bed is tilled, fertilized, steer manured and peet mossed. Oh - and I told him about the speeding ticket I got in February, and about the waiver I paid for so I didn't lose points on my license or lose my preferred insurance. He wondered aloud if there's anything else that was put on the need-to-know basis.... well.........there is ONE thing... =-).

Oh - and Buddy the cat-man's ashes are scattered under the lilac bushes finally. He'd be happy to know his earthly remains are in the place where he was happiest on this earth.

It's ALMOST Vacation Time!!!

2008-04-09T07:15:00.000-07:00

Well, we're leaving on the 18th and will be gone for a week. First stop is at Chris's parents in Tri-Cities for the night, then straight to Reno. We have reservations for Saturday and Sunday night there. While we're in Reno we're going to take my dad's ashes up to Boca Reservior and leave them at his favorite fishing hole. Although it's been some 25 years since I've been to Boca, I'm hoping it hasn't changed much and that I can find that river and find those rocks. He was able to find them to take my mom's ashes there in 2003, so I think I can manage. There's a couple of people I hope to meet up with while I'm home, and then we're heading East.
The first stop East is the town of my birth - Ely, Nevada. I hope to have the weather and the time to wander around the hotel where my parents met, and maybe to the hospital where I was born. Then out to the canyons of Utah for some long drives through the wonders of nature, a few short hikes and lots of picture-taking.
We'll be doing some camping this time to save money. Both of us are broke, but we're going anyway. Oh - we have credit cards and plent of available credit on them, but was sure nice when we went on vacation last year and we both had CASH for the trips. This year I've had to spend a bunch on taxes, and Chris has been paying off bills. I don't mind a few nights camping as long as its not freezing outside. We have excellent sleeping bags and all that, but it doesn't beat a bed with sheets and a heater and a TV and a hot shower in the room!!
Otherwise, he's got our packing lists made out, figuring out how much square footage we have to work with in the Kia, and he's going to buy one of those french press coffee pots (ooooh cool!) so we don't bring the espresso machine and all the parafinalia that goes along with it. Heck I might decide Ilike that thing better and quit making Latte's all the time... who knows what might happen?
I remember that smart little chicken on the OLD cartoons. The cartoon had the big souther-voiced chicken and the dog and those two were always beating the hell out of each other. Anyway, the older chicken was dating this widow hen that had a son - the intelligent little kid that was always figuring out tragectory and weight and all that for some stunt or another for the chicken to pull on the dog..... MY POINT???!!! Well, that little smart chicken with his graphs and pencils and super smarts??? Sure reminds me of Chris. Sigh.....

When the pain pills wear off, the throbbing starts

2008-04-07T18:08:00.000-07:00

Well, turns out I'm infected... yipeee!!! I knew it was likely to happen because this tooth was up against my sinus cavity. So when it was all pulled loose the infection went right into my sinuses, and oh boy isn't that fun?? Now tomorrow I'm going to see the MD to get a prescription for anti-biotics. GAWD I hate taking those things- it never fails I'll get a yeast infection from then, and have trouble digesting food for about a month, get lots of lower GI issues too. Just what you wanted to hear, I'll betcha??!!!! Plain yogurt doesn't work for me, I have to drink that nasty acidophilus goop, which works great, if I can gag it down and keep it down.
SO, I'm taking a couple of vicodin's at a time, and swimming around in the fog waiting till I go to the dentist in the morning. I did work today, it wasn't that bad, working stoned on vicodin isn't that hard. I can't use my headphones though, the echo in my head is just too much to bear.
I miss hard food, looking SO forward to a big plate of nacho's or some taco's or something crunchy and stiff! Chris made macaroni and cheese last night, his version is kindof crunchy from the oven, and it was really tasty. We used rice pasta and olives and garlic and onions plus about a pound of 4 different kinds of cheeses -it was so yummy.
Otherwise, I'm starting to do some reading about titanium implants, the dentist that pulled my tooth does them for about $2,000 per tooth, then someone else (A prosthedontist) does the crown. I could end up having more money in my mouth than my car is worth!! God forbid anybody hits me in the mouth.
Amanda had a great time her first class - she wants volunteers to learn to floss other people's teeth, and as part of the class experience, anybody in her family can come in and have dental work done -assisted by the students for learning experience - at next to no cost. I won't be healed up enough to get this implant done by then, darn it, but I could go for a cleaning and her ex-boyfriend needs some teeth pulled and they'll set him up with those inviline braces for COST!!! He's 31 years old and has snarfy ugly teeth...Now he can have pretty teeth finally. Chris will probably go for a cleaning, but he's not going to let anyone do much on his teeth - chicken.

Vicodin is my new friend

2008-04-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

Thursday morning I finally had this damn absessed tooth pulled out. Since then I've been eating 750mg Vicodin every 3 hours and stumbling and mumbling around here like a stoned idiot. Well, actually, I am a stoned idiot. I haven't even tried to work in fact. I cancelled the rest of Thursday after I got out of the dentist chair and I was bleeding and numb. I hate that numb feeling, I looked like I'd had a stroke or something, and this lady at the store said I looked really tired - maybe I should go home and get some sleep? So, I told her I'd just had a tooth pulled and was doing some soft-food shopping and waiting for my perscription, then I was going HOME and going to bed. Friday I got up swollen, black-and-blue and really sore, so I took more pain pills, cancelled my day and spent the entire day on the couch laying on an ice pack.
This little forey cost me almost $300 in lost income, plus the $300 to have the tooth pulled, plus the prescription and the soft -foods. I hated to have that petty little deposit, but Chris said it's better than no deposit - well not really...
Otherwise, today I woke up sore and with some swelling, but the worst appears to be over now. I don't have that constant drain of infection into my sinuses, and miraculously I'm not coughing anymore. I was coughing almost constantly from what I now know what the infection irritating my sinuses. Chris will be happy if the snoring goes away too, which I think it will.
All my molars are now gone on the upper left side, so I have no chewing platform there. I'm going to look into titanium implants after I'm healed up from this tooth-pull. The dentist said their part is around $2,000 per implant. Then the porcelain tops are done by a different dentist and no telling what that might cost. In the search for the ability to chew on the left side, and have something for my lower teeth to bump up against besides air, I'm thinking I'll probably do it. Heck the one lousy crown I had done was $1,000 by itself, and that was only shaping the tooth base to take the crown and then making the crown and attaching it.
So - for at least the rest of the weekend I'll be eating baked potato's and pudding and taking Vicodin. I don't think I ever had a better narcotic high before these, and I can understand how that guy on "House" is addicted to them. I couldn't function or work on them though, I just want to sit around and smile....duhhhhh.
Amanda is finishing up her first day in Dental Assistant school. I was able to show her in her books which tooth was pulled, and where the big old nasty absess was, she was grossed out. I think she's going to do great in the dental business - she's really social and happy to work with adults. PLUS she's decided she's going to have to quit smoking - yes, I agree. She needs to find a doctor that will prescribe some anti-smoking drug for her, there's something called Chantix (I think that's it) and that's what she wants. I think what she'll do is go to this little walk-in clinic here and get the prescription from them.
Speaking of that - the pain pill is wearing off so I'm going to go take another one and go wander around some more. Hello to my blog friends- sorry I haven't been "here" lately, but you're all in my thoughts - when I'm not foggy from the Vicodin! Talk to you soon!!

One hundred reasons why you can't leave

2008-03-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

My daughter informed me yesterday that she's considering moving to the Idaho border, which is about 4 hours from here. The move will take place sometime in the next two years after her friend finishes her schooling and is ready to look for work. Well, Amanda is the mother of my only granddaughter - as you all know, and Fay is so near and dear to my heart that I started swallowing air by the gallon and was figuring out just how far behind them I'd have to travel so they don't realize I'm following them, how to get out of my mortgage, sell my business, what to tell Chris...

I've been praying and crying and so upset about it...Though I know that eventually Amanda will put her family ahead and she won't leave. Besides 2 years is a REALLY long time from now, and so much will happen between now and then. Amanda's problem is she doesn't have any FRIENDS except this girl that is leaving for Idaho. The friend is leaving behind her mother and her ex-husband and taking the grandchildren. I can't understand how someone could do that - for some unknown future in an unknown place with unknown people. Rather to stay where you know and are known. Rather to have family support nearby than to have no support anywhere you look. Rather to know if the shit hits the fan that you know you have somewhere to land. You know you can go there, cry your eyes out, do your laundry, rest your soul and figure out your next move.

So - I'm starting the list of 100 reasons why Amanda can't leave town, and once I have all of them down, I'll post them here - at least the high lights of the list. I did get some consolation today when she was telling me about the Easter Egg hunt at daddy's house yesterday, and the stuffed bunny that grandpa Dave brought to Fay there. I was jealous to be excluded from the egg hunt and the fun family bbq, though it's doubtful that many ex-girlfriends mothers get invited to daddy's house for a bbq and an easter egg hunt...I'm not one of the cool kids that gets invited. I'll have to have a bbq out at my house and invite daddy and his parents and see if they'll show up.

What to do on Sunday afternoon

2008-03-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.justsayhi.com/bb/cadaver

Here's a fun thing to do on a boring Sunday afternoon... find out how much your dead body is worth. Thanks to Gattina for letting me find this on her blog.

I did this for myself, and my dead body is worth $5,375.00 - please don't tell my daughter this as she'll see to it I'm there very soon!!!

Otherwise, we're hanging in there. Had Fay out for a few hours yesterday and she's just always the biggest wonder and fun in the world. We took carrots to the horses and had a nice long walk. She let her Pappa push the stroller, which normally Nana is the only stroller-pusher allowed. Her vocal skills are incredible, and she's working really hard on ideas and thoughts. The new one yesterday is to not say Shit, because that's a bad word, and when you say Shit you get a time-out. Not bad for 2 1/2 huh?? Shit, I'm impressed!!! Her mother buys her these yucky (in my opinion) push-up type yogurt containers - I think they're called Go-gurt, but they're only sugar and food coloring in my opinion, so I got Fay some real yogurt, poor kid about gagged on them. Ok, soy yogurt is a little different, and she's not a fan of peaches at all, next time I'll get honey or plain and she'll eat it fine. She got to help make some apple juice with the Jack LaLaine juicer, which she really loves to make and drink. The tomato seeds are sprouting, and the bell peppers are trying to. I'm considering planting pea pods and maybe green beans because I like both so much. We have a 3rd acre out here to work with, but not a lot of time or ambition, so last year (and likely this year) the garden will be in containers on the south side of the house. We got a GOB of tomatoes last year, and I'm already looking forward to fresh tomatos eaten fresh off the vine.. YUMMAY!!!!!!!! That stretch of link fence is just crying for blueberries or razberries, I can't decide which. Guess it must be lunch time, I'm hungry!

We're getting things on the front burner for our vacation next month. I'm anxious to take a week off and get away!!! First we're heading to Reno for a couple days in the old hometown and to take my dad's ashes to his favorite fishing hole. Then off to Utah for a few days of traveling through the rest of the Canyon Lands we didn't get to last year. Then the long drive home again. Amanda has offered to come out and see to the cats - and use the laundry and computer facilities as well as shake her head and cluck at our weird food stocks - all organic or fresh, nothing canned around here but cat food... Today I'm composing an "I'm going on vacation" letter to mail to my clients that are going to miss me while I'm gone!!!

Benjamin is very upset with me today, I put lavender oil on him because the fleas are upon him and he's tearing out his hair again. I'll be putting Vit-E and Olive oil in his ears tonight because the ear-mites are back too. He stays most the time under the trailer that our neighbors live in - he was born under there and well it's still home I guess. Under there it's dark and damp and the fleas love it. He hates the lavender oil because the other cats sniff and laugh at him, but I don't care, rather that oil and a few snickers from the other cats than having to use toxic dangerous chemicals on him. If only he'd keep the nylon with the soaked cotton balls around his neck, he'd be fully protected from the bugs, they absolutely hate lavender oil!!!

So very hard to say Grammie lost her dad a few days ago. I feel for her and her family. Loss is so hard. I wish her and her family all the strength they need to get through the hard times. Gattina's old cat is giving her fits. Jana's grandchild is giving her smiles!! Life is not bad!!

Cheat, perjurer, prevaricator, deceiver, deluder...

2008-02-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

Or how many words are there for liar?

How honest is TOO honest?

When did I become so damn honest anyway?

Why am I chicken to be honest in person? More than once I have signed on as annonymous (though not on any regular blogs I visit - of course - REALLY REALLY!) and said some tirade type things and then vanished, giving no one the opportunity to chase me down and tell me F'you to my face - as I said I hate confrontations, which accounts for my overeating and nail biting habits. One time when my parents were alive my mom ordered a pre-made thanksgiving dinner from a local grocery store. After she told me about it - I went to the store and paid for the dinner, and asked the store to call my mom and tell her she won the in-store drawing for a free dinner. She was SOOOO HAPPY to have won the dinner for free, she called me chipper and happy and went on and on about it for 10 minutes, having never won something like that ever. I could just smile on the phone and tell her how happy I was for her and how great it was and all that - holding the receipt in my hand... I think this was the beginning of my need, desire, want, behest to be honest in all things - as long as I'm not confronted face-to-face with it that is.

I recall a time when I saw a $20 laying on the floor of a casino, and I just about ran outta my clothes getting over to it to step on it and claim it as mine mine mine! More than once I took money from my mom's wallet, one time I took money from their safe deposit box, other times I took money from my jobs -back when I had regular jobs that is. I lied more than once on my taxes back in days before all those verifications were necessary. Nowadays I pay an accountant a really big yearly amount to figure my taxes and sign his name to it so I'm not in trouble if he screws something up. I keep really good total and honest track of my income and expenses now that I'm self-employed. I have been given too much change at a grocery store, and put it in my pocket - figuring F'k 'em if they can't add, for example: a $3.49 purchase when paid for with a $10 - ummm, that's $7.51 right? Yup, sure it is honey. But anymore I can't take what doesn't belong to me, I'd do well on that new lie-detector reality show, but I'd alienate my family, friends, boyfriend, former employers... in fact I'd get fired again from at least a few of those old jobs for taking money.

Sometime around the time I met Chris, which was 7 years ago in March, I started needing to be honest. I can't lie (in person), I can't keep things given to me in error - like too much change, that wayward gallon of milk or package of toilet paper someone left in their grocery cart at the store. If there's change in the change-machine at the grocery store, I don't keep it.

Thus the hunt for the hummingbird figurine, which by the way, is going to end well. After I lost out on the auction for the WRONG (though very close) version of the hummingbird, I did some more hunting and found two exact duplicates, so one of those will be here in Wenatchee within the week and Mrs. Old-and-sharp-eyed-client will have a hummer with a beak!!! One commenter opined that I didn't have to tell the client I broke the stupid thing, and that's true, but heck what do I say when she asks me what happened to the beak? Oh - I don't know, it wasn't there when I got here? Yeah...right. Thankfully she called to ask me where it went last week instead of asking me when I was still at her house, or I'd have never gotten away with saying I'm taking it so I can find a replacement and sneak it back in and you'll never know the difference anyway, except this one has a beak, and I paid for it!!

There are lies by omission, which are still lies - I know. Chris has asked me questions about my past that I have refused to answer on grounds I'd incriminate myself. There are things I have taken from clients homes - like cookies, or an occasional Tylenol, even a pain pill or two. I did lie to a client I quit working for recently (over the phone). I hate confrontations, so I sent her an "I quit" letter with no reason given, of course that was stupid, because I knew she'd call and want to know why!! So, when she did call, I told her my knees hurt after I leave her house and I can't continue working for her because of the stairs in her house. In truth, her neutered tomcat that continues to piss on the walls and on the throw rugs just finally put me to the end of my last nerve. She knows the cat pisses all over the house - she knows the house stinks to high heaven, and I had the wonderful fun job of putting the piss-rug from under the catbox into the washing machine every other week. EWWWW What a reek that rug has after two weeks of cat-piss-upon. In truth, it does hurt my knees to go up and down the stairs 10 times in 3 hours to clean her house, but the rest of the story would have only hurt her feelings, so I left it at that.

I'm lame, but at least I'm honestly lame!!! I have the new disease: closet-honesty.

GIMME that hummingbird DAMMIT!!!

2008-02-09T12:05:00.000-08:00

ALL I want is this little hummingbird figurine to replace the one I broke at a client's house. I broke the beak off of it about 3 years ago, and always felt a bit bad about it. SO last time I was at her house, I snuck out the broken one, and brought it home so I could order a replacement on the internet. Little did I know that this little old woman would notice the missing hummer and call me to find out what I did with it!! I lied and told her it mysteriously ended up in my dirty-rag bucket and I'd return it next time. Thankfully I'm a WAY better liar on the phone than I am in person. I can't keep eye-contact, and have this stupid habit of giggling when I lie. Anyway...

I found one that was a really close replacement on some website, and I ordered it. A few days later it still wasn't on its way to me so I called the company and the guy said SORRY, the manufacturer is out of business and we can't get this anymore. OK FU-REAKING FINE!!!

And NOW I found THIS replacement, which is almost exact on E-BAY!!! HOW the hell did I end up here? Excited about bidding on a 4" high piece of porcelain that some woman bought from an estate sale for about 35c, and now I'm up to $38 bidding on it!!! Some bitch keeps showing up and upping the bid, and I swear I will have this dumb thing if it costs me my next housepayment!!!! I'd love to find that woman that keep overbidding me and break HER beak!!! Not only did I have to get a Paypal account - which I can't use till they get me verified of all stupid things - I have EXCELLENT credit and credit cards up the wazoo, but NO WAY, you have to have some personal paypal account, which links to my credit card and to my checking account, but I can't use it till it's verified. Thankfully the owner of the little figurine will wait a couple days till I get verified to use the paypal account, the only alternative is to send a money order to New York City.... yeeesh what a world!!

I think I'm going to have a heart attack in the next 5 hours till this dumb auction is over and the hummingbird is MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!

No luck with cars

2008-01-26T11:36:00.000-08:00

This is my car after it was hit on the 14th of December

Well we were getting ready to watch the Greenbay game last Sunday when we hear this big CAAA-RASH!!! in the front yard, Chris raised up and sees this white van parked in our front yard, and says "Somebody just hit the truck."

The 20-year old mexican driver slid around the corner (notice the skid marks?)and smashed into the pickup - sending it 10 feet from where it was parked, sent the trash can flying, ruined a perfectly healthy burning bush. I called out to the people in the van and asked if everyone was OK? Yes- we're OK, so I called the sheriff (we live out in the county), and suddenly the driver in the brown sweatshirt starts walking down the street, which I advised the dispatch on the phone about. Chris talked to the people in the van and asked about insurance and license, they refused, saying we'll wait till the police get here. Fine, the sheriff shows up, questions the young man about leaving the scene, the kid said no, he was walking around the van, not walking down the street, but his mother was there (from up the street) demanded he tell the truth, and he said to the sheriff he walked up the street to get his license. Ok, so now he's driving unlicensed, and tried to lie to the sheriff about it. After a bit the sheriff sent me and Chris back into the house, saying they'll take care of it - no reason for us to stand out there in the cold. We went in, saw that we'd missed the ENTIRE FIRST QUARTER of the game over this business... Soon the sheriff came in saying that they have insurance - he has the insurance card in his hand - I asked him if it was Dairyland insurance - and he looked at it and said yes it is. I said, OK, but just because they have an insurance card doesn't mean they have insurance...He opined that it was legitamate looking, so? No reason for an experienced insurance agent to discuss this with a policeman, so I let it go. The sheriff said that the people are going to push the van out of our yard, it got hung up on the railroad ties (thankfully they got hung up, because if we weren't home we'd have never known who hit the truck), so they got their van out of our yard, and we called our insurance company to start the ball rolling having a bad feeling about all this.

A couple hours later the driver, his mother, and sister show up at our door to tell us their insurance isn't going to cover the damage because the under 25 drivers isn't covered under the policy - and YES, the mother knew this. So - they know some auto-body man that they want to take our truck to and get the work done and they'll pay for it. Told them NO WAY you're taking our truck anywhere, our insurance adjustor will be out here and then we'll know what's going on. They asked if they can come talk to him, I said you're free to do what you want, but you're not taking the truck and nobody but a licensed insured body shop is doing anything. They tried the sympathy angle because the driver is in college in Seattle, I told them so what, he shouldn't be driving a vehicle he's not insured on and shouldn't be driving without his license on him. Ok - so a couple days later our adjustor gets out here and the kid's DAD is trying to talk to the adjustor and negotiate some type of deal so they don't get in trouble with their insurance company over it. The adjustor advised the guy that this isn't really ethical and asked him to take off. Finally the dad did, and later I called the sheriff to discuss the harrassement going on, and pretty much demanded that this kid be cited as any other driver on the road would have been.

Now to the end of it - the adjustor from our company says the truck is totalled because the damage will cost more than the truck is worth. Chris doesn't want to total the truck, so he's opting to take a lesser amount and find a body shop to do the work and keep the truck. He's put a LOT of work into it himself and spent quite a bit of money on options and cosmetics like a stereo and bucket seats, etc.

And we're the bad guys because we don't want this kid to get off without a minimum negligent driving ticket and no-license driving and no insurance driving - assholes, huh?? The owner of the van will be sued by our insurance company to recoup whatever they pay us for the damage to the truck. The driver will get points on his driving record - if it were up to me, he'd lose his license completely. Not that that matters considering the very high number of drivers that don't have licenses or insurance, just playing the numbers in the high-stakes game of avoiding an accident. The kid was driving at least 30 miles per hour on solid ice when he careened around the corner and drove into our yard. And we're the assholes....

More on the car, the kid and the TICKET!!!

2008-01-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking I never finished talking about that ticket I got in November, and knowing that so MANY of you are sitting on one cheek and then the other waiting for the final outcome, I thought I'd better relieve your minds and let you know how it all came out.
Last week I went to court, with driving record in hand-ready to explain to the judge that I'm a business woman, an English speaking legal American citizen, a God-fearing tax paying person with legal insurance, a driver's license in my legal name, and a clean driving record for 15 years. What happened was the court clerk said that any people who have a clean driving record, who weren't cited for speeding in a school zone or a construction zone are eligible for a DEFERRAL!! Cost you $120, but the ticket doesn't go on your driving record, unless you get another ticket within 12 months, in which case you forfit the $120, you owe for THIS ticket, you owe for the other ticket, PLUS you get both tickets against your driving record. OKEYDOKEY!!! $120 bribe for the court to keep this ticket off my record - which would raise my insurance rates and knock me out of the preferred rates I'm getting... So that form signed and up to the judge, she didn't even look at me, she just checked my driving record, signed the order and waived me off. WHEW!!!!

As for the car, it's going in the shop again this week to get the stuff fixed that the body shop didn't fix to my liking. The gas-cap needs to be aligned right, the back door needs to be lined up to the rear panel, and the trunk light fixture isn't connected anymore. The light works, but the light itself is hanging loose from the inside of the trunk. Ok, so all that needs to be fixed and the cosmetic strip on the back door needs to be replaced as it was smacked by the bumper of the same truck that smacked the rear panel. Otherwise, the car is running fine after a week of being started and run every day, in fact I'm happy to be back in my little purple Kia, and happy not to be paying $50 a week in gas for the hog-rental I was driving. Now the other insurance company isn't going to want to pay for my time driving back and forth to the body shop, for the lost work time, for the extra gas money...and in fact the woman tried to scare me by saying that they shouldn't have paid for 26 days of a rental car because my car was perfectly driveable, according to their criteria. Nope, the gas cap wouldn't open and the back tire was wobbly, making the car both unsafe and unable to be driven. Thankfully I have pictures in case it has to go to court.

Seems Idiot Useless Man and his idiot felon roommate were raided by the police. Yes - the Useless Man was selling pot out of their house - in fact he was selling pot out of his and Amanda's house before he got the inspiration to move out (and tell me that Jesus doesn't work in our lives in the most mysterious ways? - had Useless NOT moved out, the cops would have swooped down on his place with Amanda and likely the baby would be in state custody and both he and her would be in jail- Thank you Jesus for your kind help.) Thankfully they had no drugs in the house - only parafinalia.
Anyway, now the two idiot men have been approached by the cop in question who said 'if you'll do us a favor and do a drug buy down in mexican town, we'll let you off this hook and we'll forget all about the parafinalia we found here, and you won't get cited for posession, and you won't get your names in the paper and you won't get in trouble with your mommies.' For some unknown reason, these two idiots think this is a GOOD IDEA!!!! They think if they do this ONE favor for the police they won't be in trouble. Well, the truth of the matter is that if they do this one favor, they won't be off the hook, they'll be in it for good, and when they say no, then they'll get busted. Another possibility is that they'll be set up to sell to an undercover police person, and they'll be busted for dealing. Or they could get set up so that everyone involved gets shot and killed so the cops don't have to deal with these petty criminals anymore. Worse yet is the chance that the people they get busted would turn out to be aware of Useless man's family and make it bad on Amanda and the baby. Don't think this stuff happens? Don't read a paper? Don't watch a movie? How do I know about this you may wonder? Well way back when my house was robbed by a neighbor boy, I called the police and had him and his buddy arrested. When the sheriff had the kids cuffed in the squad car, he came into my house and advised me that the boys told HIM that I was THE drug dealer in the neighborhood, that I had sold and used marijuana with them both and that they could describe the box that I kept drugs and parafinalia in. So, OK, I showed the cop the box that had one pipe in it - and I explained to the cop that the pipe belonged to my deceased brother and that I had no drugs, I used no drugs, and never sold anything to anyone. Well, the cop said, I'm confiscating this and I'm going to cite you for posession, UNLESS you give up your dealer. I had 24 hours to make up my mind. When the officer showed up the next day I refused to give up anyone because there was no one to give up. Getting my house robbed cost me $500 for an attorney and a day in court to clear my name. I can't believe Idiot 1 and Idiot 2 are even remotely considering going for a drug buy for these cops. If it weren't for the fact that this could come back on Amanda, and how much Fay would miss her Daddy and her uncle, I'd say that both those stupid men deserve what they're going to get. If they can't see past the danger of this suggestion, then they should do it - good luck, and God speed... dummies.

Still Dinkin after all this time!!

2008-01-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I didn't talk about this because it was just supposed to get done, be over, and not a problem... well, sure!!
On the 14th of December, my car was parked innocently in front of the house I was cleaning at, when the client came and found me and said her neighbor had backed into my car. The neighbor was so apologetic, gave me his insurance information, and I figured OK, no problem: couple phone calls, a little shop time, and it'll be done.
Well, SURE!!!
Beginning on December 14th, the car sat at the body shop because the guys bumper shoved in the rear corner panel of my car - and make the gas-cap unopenable. Can't gas it, can't drive it.
Yesterday they called and said it was done, come get it, well I did, but it's not right and the body shop thinks I'm really picky because the back door on that side doesn't line up with the panel they changed, and the new gas cap doesn't line up either.
SO - today back on the phone with the insurance company, and the rental agency, and the body shop.. Here we go 'round the mulberry bush.
My poor Kia doesn't look right, doesn't feel right after sitting 26 days in the parking lot without being run. I'm wondering if there was engine damage due to it sitting in the cold for so long not being started every day like it's used to.
I'm gonna have to sue, I just know it... sigh

Hereditary Hard-Headeness - fact or fiction??

2008-01-07T12:46:00.000-08:00

Well, that girl of mine R E F U S E S to discuss starting her own business. Even though I have offered to give her a business, give her the computer program, give her clients, give her everything she needs except the willingness to DO IT!!!
She's on her own now - as you know - Useless Man decided he didn't love her and he moved out. Amanda has figured out that she can financially support herself and her daughter - Useless can't work during the winter because he's a roofer and it's cold now, so rather than get ANY job, he's sitting on his butt waiting for warmer weather. (she's feeling like she lost out???!!!)

Anyway, I've been toying with starting a second company - stricktly for non-cleaning stuff - groceries, cooking, errands, etc. I know this business will take off, and she can make a decent living working for herself!!!!!!!!!!!

But NO WAY, she won't do it - refuses. Wanna know why? Are you sitting down??!!!! She refuses because she doesn't want to pay her own taxes, she prefers to work for someone else who is going to take taxes out of her check and sent it in to the IRS for her.

Ok, its a hassle keeping back money to pay my own taxes, but it is do-able. I made a pretty darn good chunk last year. Amanda in fact was impressed when I told her how much I made - just one fat lady with a mop...BUT, now enough to jump off the employed for someone else wagon and get on her own darn wagon!!!!!!!

How can I get this child (25 year old) to understand the benefits of self-employment? Make your own schedule, decide when and where you will work, make as much money as you want to, and NOT have to deal with politics (ok, there's still some politics, but not like being employed by someone else). She's worried about there not being steady work, ok, the first year may be a bit rough, but she can keep her pizza delivery job until she's making enough to break away on her own - the same way I did!!!!!!!!
Anyone have a suggestion for prying this girl away from her steady paycheck of $9 and hour and get her onto $18-$20 an hour working for herself???? Short of beaning her with a shovel, I mean...

2008 - a new beginning again

2007-12-30T15:06:00.000-08:00

Looking back over the '07 blogs, I realize I've talked about everything that was important all year, so putting it down here is redundant, and I've already done that, and by reading it here you'll be re-reading what you already read before I put it down here, so it's a waste of time. I see a couple things I didn't talk about so here go those:

Amanda and John split up the middle of December and he moved out for real. He only moved up the block to a friend's apartment however, and so far things are going ok. He's been good about keeping Fay when Amanda works and spending Daddy time with her, and the other grandma Linda and I are taking turns keeping Fay too. Amanda has put her size-12 foot down on Linda about taking Fay when it's John's nights to have her. Usually John calls his mommy and begs her to take Fay so he can do this or do that...now she is ordered to say NO, you keep her, it's your night. I kept Fay on Friday night while Amanda worked till midnight, and John had her Saturday, and Linda has her today, and I get her tomorrow (New Years Eve) till Amanda gets home from the party she's going to. I'll bring Fay out here for dinner and to give the horse a carrot and after while we'll go back to her house so she can sleep in her own bed. I'm working New Year's Day (make $120 or watch football, tell me what you'd choose?) at 9AM, so will go home whenever Amanda gets home. As for John and his BS, well, it started the same way this December as it did last December, he says he's not happy- doesn't feel like Amanda is THE ONE for him, wants his space and all that. Ok, when she mentioned this to me, I said I'll be right over, lets pack his crap up and put it on the porch, if he's not happy, let him go. She really wanted to cry and beg again this time, but all her support people gave her the same advise: LET HIM GO!!!! And so, she's learning how to live alone and is pushing away suggestions from people who think anti-depressants and sleeping pills will help her get over this. I tell her don't do pills!!! Pray, walk in the sunshine, hug your baby, be thankful for your health and ability to work and pay your bills, and F*** that guy, show him you'll be OK without him, that's the best revenge there is.

I had my 45th birthday quietly on the 26th. Didn't find any new grey hairs or wrinkles, but have noticed a hitch in my right hip most every morning when I get up. Time to go to the chiropractor and get snapped back into shape again, gosh it's been better than 6 months since I saw him last. Chris's parents are doing OK, her mother Wilma moved in with them and they had 6 rough months getting used to the change - imagine your MOTHER moving into your house??!!! His sister and her husband survived their first year of marriage, guess they're doing OK, we don't hear from them, and don't keep in touch - sad isn't it?

My brother and his wife are still doing OK. They celebrated their 35th year together (33 legal he says) and their kids are both doing great. Tannen - their first grandchild - born to a heroin addicted woman and their son Jay is doing great finally, he's thriving in the love and support of his grandparents home, both their kids live at home too. My grandmother and I are still communicating on a semi-regular basis - she doesn't write all the letters she used to, and well neither do I. My aunt is still not speaking to me, guess she'll die being right and I'll never be able to apologize. My good friend Myrtle passed away on the 23rd. Her son didn't feel the need to call me and let me know, I had to read about it in the paper. Of course if I were a better friend I'd have known Myrtle was getting worse and going downhill, but of course she was 94. I'll miss her - and sent her son a sympathy card, wrote in it So sorry to read in the paper of the passing of Dear Myrtle...(ya shithead- no, I didn't write shithead, but I sure thought it). Chris and I are doing well together. After the breakup of John and Amanda I really had to sit back and revue our relationship for what it is, a real committed thing, and married or not, we're in it for good. If we don't get married this year, as I hope, I think the next best thing will be legal paperwork filed with an attorney - something that says he has these rights to this property, and I have these rights to this property...we'll see. We're talking about taking two weeks off for vacation this year and going south - I need to scatter my dad's ashes as I promised him I would. And we'll be in Reno then, so maybe Chris can be talked into getting married while we're there.

My little business is thriving. I raised rates as of the first of January, and only one client cut back from weekly to every other week. The one person that quit completely was going to quit anyway because he's a picky drama king pain-in-the-butt that goes through housekeepers faster than he goes through girlfriends - Jerk. I'll be advertising to fill those two vacancies, and am planning to have the best year yet - my 6th year in self-employment.

Hopefully you all have a safe and happy New Year celebration and a prosperous and healthy new year too!!! I am so happy that Grammie gets to be a grandmother again in 2008! Gattina, good luck to you and your family and cats, I hope you get to take a lot of wonderful trips, as I enjoy seeing pictures of them. Pistols and his flaxen haired woman might get serious, and thankfully Bert Banana's is back from the Blog vacation, he was missed!! I hope Claudia is feeling well and will be blogging more than she's been lately, I miss her too. Bye for now !!!

Back to the "M" word - again

2007-12-11T12:56:00.000-08:00

Gosh I go through this on a regular basis it seems. Chris and I have been together 7 years this coming March, and again my mind is drifting toward that M word. We dated a total of 6 (SIX) months before we were intimate, and only after that face-to-face discussion about where are we going with this? Do we mean it? Are we going to commit? Yes, we dedicated ourselves and our lives to our faith and eachother, and so here we are, looking at 7 years, and even though we are committed, and belong together, and will be here 47 years from now (God willing), it is still on my mind that legally we aren't linked.
Should (God forbid) anything happen to either of us, legally, neither of us has the right to speak for the other. The health care industry doesn't recognize a live-in relationship as a legal right to say treat or don't treat. The housing industry doesn't recognize either that we have split the house payments, insurance, and taxes for half of the time (so far) that I've owned my home, so if I died tomorrow, he'd be homeless. Well - Amanda promises that in the event I die first - she as the next of kin would never put Chris out on the street, the house belongs to him. BUT what would the probate court say?
And so, we talked about it again while we were in Oregon for the Eat Turkey and Take a Nap holiday weekend. He says he's not opposed to it - though Jesus himself said don't get married - he's opposed to doing things the way everyone else does it. Well - my wedding wouldn't be the way everyone else's is. He's just waiting on me to get the paperwork that we need and set a date and he'll be there.
If I can have my perfect wedding, it would be him and me and a justice of the peace standing together at sunset on the beach in Lincoln City Oregon. Probably in March it'll be cold on the beach, so there won't be formal dress, just comfy warm clothes and us and the legal binding of our relationship. Witnesses? Heck I don't know - might get Amanda and John and Fay to come along, or Chris's parents maybe - I don't want a big party. If I can't get us to LC, then the rose garden here in town at the courthouse is beautiful too.
We were watching a movie this weekend called The Theory of Everything (see it if you can, please!!) There was a line in the movie the man said regarding his late wife (this is a paraphrase) - he said sometimes there was joy and sometimes there was silence, but the committment was always there. Yep - that's us, sometimes happy, sometimes not, but always together - no matter what. Well - there are a couple of exceptions to the NO MATTER WHAT rule, but let's not go there right now.
Tomorrow I'll probably want to kick his ass out the door again.... Ahhhh love.
I clean for a couple that are 96 and 90 and just celebrated their 72nd wedding anniversary - oh my gosh can you believe that? Going from 24 years old to 96 with the same woman? Going from 17 to 90 with the same man... wow, how amazing. That's committment.

And now there are three

2007-12-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

This is one of the last pictures of Buddy - this was last summer, he was laying in the grass in the backyard watching the rest of the cats.

I took him to the vet this morning to have him put down. Yes - I knew a month ago he was sick. Yes, I knew he stopped having bowel movements about a week after he stopped eating, but he was still drinking water, and knowing that cats will stop eating if their stomachs are upset, I didn't really let it concern me too much. He started losing weight, he was showing signs of severe dehydration, he stopped talking much, all he wanted to do was sleep and not be bothered. I forced some fluids once he stopped wanting to drink water. I made gruel and fed it to him once he stopped taking food at all. Every time I tried to feed him though he gagged.

Let me back up just a little. He always had a hard time when we'd leave and be gone for a few days, and when we were gone in March for 9 days he had a really bad time. When we got back I knew he'd been sick, because he wasn't eating much and didn't want to drink water, so I force fed him for a couple days and then he was OK. In October he had a really bad asthma attack, and refused food for a few days again, and didn't want water either, so I pushed fluids and made gruel for him and after a couple days of that he was back on schedule, but not normal.

Ok, let me back up a little more. Bud was born asthmatic and has always had a hard time. Plus he got fat really early and that didn't help a lot. My vet has been giving me mass amounts of crap about his weight, and wanted me to have him on a liquid lung dialotor every day - which I didn't do, he only had an asthma attack once a year or so, and he would always get back to a reasonable amount of normal after that.

Ok, fast forward to this weekend. Bud refused any liquid or food, he vomited bile on Saturday, and just wanted to be left alone. Chicken me was hoping he'd go outside, crawl under the lilac bush and go to sleep. Reality me knew it wasn't going to happen that way, he was going to make me take him to the vet, so I did that this morning.

Dr. W. was UNHAPPY with me from the minute I got there. WHY if he was going down 3 weeks ago didn't I call? WHY did I allow him to suffer when it wasn't necessary? HE KNOWS he can treat what's wrong with BUD even now, totally dehydrated and shutting down.

NO, I told him, put him down - do it now, don't prolong it, the needle is in the vein, you can't stop now. So - he pushed the plunger, Buddy let out a deep breath, and put his head on my arm, gone.

THEN, Dr. W really got unhappy - he HATES to put down young cats that only needed to be treated from when the symptoms started NOT waiting until it is too damn late. Yes, it was likely diabetis, considering his weight, and NO I didn't want to deal with needles and whatnot, he said there are thousands of cats on insulin and doing fine...There was no reason for delaying so long. Well, I was in tears, and couldn't defend myself at all, so I picked up the carrier, and left.

After I cried all the way home, changed clothes, left and cried all the way to work, and cried through 6 hours of work, and cried all the way home, and so on... now I can think of some reasons why I didn't call the vet a month ago. Because I knew that Dr. W. would say " well, we have to run blood tests, and x-rays, and probes and anesthetetize him and yadda yadda", and a $1,000 bill later, I'd be hearing it's cancer or it's diabetis and its going to require surgery or insulin and daily injections and torture... to which I would say "Put him down".

So I came home and was crying over my appointment book and Shadow came and got in my lap with her dirty little feet and walked cat prints all over my appointment book page for October next year and purred and looked at me, so I wrote on the sheet that those are Shadow's prints.

I'm a bad cat - mother, I know I let him go too long for no really good reason other than I thought he'd come out of it like he did so many times before, or he'd die. I guess this time he just didn't have it in him to fight back again. Yes, I should have taken him to the vet a month ago, but he was in pretty good shape then, and Dr. W. would have fought me to put him down even harder than he fought me today to treat him. I hate doctors.

Here's a picture of Shadow - my little artist:

Finally have time to discuss last weekend.

2007-12-01T21:55:00.000-08:00

Here's a couple of pictures from our weekend trip to Lincoln City, Oregon for the turkey holiday. We had lovely weather, and as you can see, the sunsets on the beach are darn near to spectacular. The mist over the water picture is from Thursday morning, we drove over Wednesday night and had to hang out till we could get in our room at noon. So, we sat on the beach and watched the waves and the mist. The wind was blowing out to sea as the waves were coming in, so we got these NEAT shots of the mist over the waves, and if you look close you can see a rainbow in the mist. Awsome, huh?

So, we had sunny and warm on the coast, beautiful 50's and sunny. That was Thursday and Friday. Saturday it was cold and rainy and on Sunday early we left for home.

Oh - by the way - on the way down there Chris had to stop at the Indian Casino, he won enough there in about 2 hours to pay for the room, and I was happy about that. Then while we were in LC he decided he was bored and needed to go gamble, he spent the entire night at the casino, and lost $150, oh well, its his money to do with as he pleases. I WAS NOT happy about him spending the night gambling and WAS NOT happy about him coming in stinking like a smoke-filled casino. Made him remove his stinking clothes and I tied them into a garbage bag, would have been happy to throw them out onto the balcony, but the seagulls eat anything that's tossed out.

Meanwhile, we're getting snowed upon here in the Northwest. About 3" on the ground today and one of my clients called to warn me that there's a B I G storm coming, we might get a foot here by Monday and I shouldn't worry about making it to her house if the roads are icy. Lemme fill you in on something here: NOT ONE CLIENT is so important to me that I would risk death for them. Besides, I checked the forecast and only supposed to get up to 5" before it changes to rain on Sunday night, no problem!!!

Now if my daughter, grandchild, or a select couple of friends needed me in a storm, I'd very likely do my damndest to get to them, but not some client with a dirty sink that needs cleaning. Granted, the loss of $120 would make me unhappy, but living to see an0ther smile and hear Fay call me Nanna is so much more important to me.

We're coming up on a year anniversary of the BIG windstorm of Wenatchee, blew over some 500 trees and the roofing companies still don't have all the roofs repaired. Amanda's guy John works for a roofing company (though he'll be switching to Mr. Plow through the rest of the winter). She's still working at the pizza place, and doing OK with it, though she wants to go into Dental Hygenics and just has to talk herself into going. She'll have to drive 6 hours a week to go over to Seattle to take the classes - for 10 weeks, plus gas and food, etc. She can get a student loan to cover it, but hates to think about having to pay it back someday.

Also it's been just about a year since the "BIG BREAKUP" between Amanda and John. Boy was that a flop. They had a cute little 2 bedroom house running them $650 a month. John had a dinner date with some floozy that made him feel alive, so he went home and broke up with Amanda, told her he was moving out, and bye-bye. Well, she called mommy and needed moving money, which I loaned her. She found a little tiney itey bitey place, one bedroom, and the bathroom is off the bedroom, so anyone going pee has to go through their bedroom to get there. Anyway, supposedly (and I don't know if this is truth or not), the guy that John was going to move in and room with made a sexual pass at John and so John freaked out and decided he better stay with Amanda and his daughter, so he moved into the itty bitty apartment with them and now they pay $350 a month rent. Personally, I don't believe about 3/4 of what John says, but he's a good Daddy and Fay loves him completely. I'd love to see him GROW UP and spend more time with her than he does getting stoned and hanging out with his buddies...but that's another days complaint on the GET OFF THE PHONE blog.

Oh, by the way (again), I'm going to Seattle in February to see Jeff Dunham in person, I'm excited to go. He's a ventriloquist and pretty darn good. Not quite the level of Sherry Lewis and Lambchop, or Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy (both of which I have seen on stage), but Jeff is really funny - his puppet Walter is someone (some ONE??) I could see working as the greeter at WalMart- he says his greeting would be "Welcome to WalMart, get your shit and get out!" You can visit Jeff Dunham's website at http://www.jeffdunham.com/.

Meanwhile, Bud isn't doing well, he's stopped eating about a week ago, he's drinking water and urinating, but he's really dehydrated. I can't justify taking him to the vet for torture and fright, if I could just take him in and have the vet say "yep, you're right, it's his kidneys, or it's his teeth or it's his bowels obstructed", and fix the problem without putting the poor cat through blood, urine, and probing tests. I don't believe the vets need to do all those tests anyway, he sees 500 cats a month, surely he recognizes signs when he sees them? WHY do they need to run up a $1,000 bill to tell me the cat is sick? I know he's sick!!! He's not eating, not pooping, and he's dehydrated. CU-CHING says the vet, needs fluids and IV's and intubation, and, and, and (which translates into he needs a payment on his Ferarri), so I think that me and Bud will stay home, I'll force water on him (which he hates, but he's taking) and long as he's urinating, we'll take this far as we can. The only reason to take him to the vet in my opinion is to put him down. If he gets to the point where he REFUSES water and his kidneys shut down there's nothing to be done for him. I poked around his belly and he didn't complain, I looked in his mouth and his gums are red and his breath is NASTY and his tongue is dry, but again he's taking water and urinating, so I'm not UTTERLY worried about him, yet. And I do have a bottle of antibiots, I'll start giving him tomorrow, didn't want to push them tonight after I finally got water down him.

Here's a good picture of Bud on the couch, and Ben doing his flattened cat impersonation.

Who thought up that stupid holiday anyway?

2007-11-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

http://www.holidayorigins.com/

Here is a place to go and find out where EVERY SINGLE holiday started.

I wondered where Thanksgiving started, and found this site had some good information about it. I KNEW that T-giving was a politially based holiday, figured it was started by turkey farmers with the help of politicians to give them something to do with all those stupid birds they were raising. By the way, in Montana, when the turkey crosses the road, the locals just run them over...this is a picture from our vacation in May, we tourists had to stop and take a picture of a turkey.

According to this site:"Thanksgiving was erratically recognized until 1827 when Sarah Joseph Hale started a campaign to make it a national holiday. She was the editor of the Boston's Ladies Magazine at the time. Finally at her persistence, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed it a national holiday in on October 3, 1863. He set the date as the last Thursday in November."

Ok, so all that stress and cost and BS going on in YOUR house is the fault of some damn woman who wanted a holiday, and her insessant bitching to President Lincoln that lead to it.

As for me - I don't do it. I'm thankful every single day, not just the last Thursday in November. Hell, what if I were to die on the day before? Would I have wasted all the chances to be thankful all year just because the holiday hadn't come and I wasn't seated around the table with a bunch of free-loaders who just showed up to pig out and leave the mess for me?? My daughter does the big feed with her man's family - somewhere around 25 of them all circled around the feed trough, each telling something they are thankful for.

I'd something like: I'm thankful the HIV test was negative, or I'm thankful for Depends, or I'm thankful the Russian Roulette tournament ended in a tie (the gun jammed), or I'm thankful that my bra-fitting was so successful, I'm thankful the wire on the breathalizer hooked to my car broke off so I could get here tonight, I'm thankful the pregnancy test was negative, I'm thankful the DNA test showed that little Shalomar's daddy isn't OJ Simpson, I'm thankful the camera at the bank was broken, I'm thankful for vaginal itch relief cream....

HEY, what are YOU thankful for????????????

Zippy and the Vunder-Cop!!

2007-11-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

Notice that bubble machine in the rear view mirror? Ok, this isn't the shot from today, but it is the shot I have of being stopped for speeding during our trip through Wyoming, Chris was driving, and BOY HOWDY was I glad it was him and not ME doing 90.

Anyway, tonight, on the way home, going 49 down a dark country road... I noticed suddenly two cars off the side of the road, and just about a half second before it dawned on me that it was TWO SHERIFF'S CARS running radar, it was TOO DAMN LATE, I was nabbed!!!!!!!!

Well, the truth of the matter is, that 35 MPH speed zone is too damn slow for my taste, but I try to follow the rules, being a good citizen and all that crap, but I had been in 5PM traffic and its 10 miles to my house, and DAMMIT I had to pee!!!!! So I was zipping along hoping to make it home before I wet my pants.

I told OFFICER A-hole that I was hurrying because I had to pee, so for some reason, he just slooowwwwedddd doooowwwwwwnnnn. Took him literally 10 minutes to write me a ticket for speeding. Then to prove his superiority, he followed me almost all the way home to assure himself I wasn't going to speed anymore tonight on the rest of the 1/2 mile trip to my house.!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRR~!! I was so supremely upset by this situation I didn't even look at the ticket, I just took my stuff from the officer's hand and started my car and drove away, wet britches and all. Asshole.

After I got home, got changed, cleaned up the mess...yaddayadda. I looked at the ticket, $154 for 49 in a 35. I have 3 options: pay the fine, request a hearing to explain WHY I was breaking the law, or request a hearing and explain why I wasn't breaking the law. I'll go for option #2, since there's no option to kick that A-hole officer in the leg for detaining me like some illegal alien with a suspended license, expired plates and a car-full of unseatbelted kids.

I'll simply tell the nice judge that I was hurrying home to keep from peeing my pants, and thanks to the officer and his intentional detention... I didn't.

My darling daddy would have said to me "it's way better than to be pissed off, than pissed on". Thanks Pop, appreciate it even 4 years after your death I can hear your snicker.

Jumping in the way-back machine

2007-10-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, was Fay ever this small? Was Amanda 5 weeks old?? Was I? How time flies.

Anyway, today the three of us were at Costco, and there was a man cooing and googling over a baby in a carrier in his basket - about THIS size, and the baby was so small and tiny and immobile and I was looking at Fay, and remember her at this size. When she'd stay put, go to sleep at the drop of a hat, smile all the time...when it was cute when she had a little gas!

Now she's independent, intelligent, strong-willed, and God help me she's only 2 1/2!!!!! I remember when she struggled so hard to say Mommy - and today she put her hand on her hip and told me "YOU WISH!!!", of course she doesn't know what YOU WISH means, but she knows how to say it! Some day she's going to be a teenager, and then an adult, then an MIT professor, or something wonderfully smart and wealth-and-power making, and she's going to look back on the days in the pictures her mother and I will have of her - like this one - to remind her of when she was small and helpless and drooling.

Fay, my darling grandchild. My heart lights at the sight of you, but also I'm saddend just a tiny bit to see you growing up and changing so fast! When you were 5 weeks old and held my finger I felt such a wonder to know my blood is in your veins and a part of my parents and grandparents and all the way back to the Hornbeks in Colorado and the Cammomiles in Utah and the Howards and Fosters in Kansas are in YOU. Yes, you come from cattle rustlers, and moonshine runners, drunks, wife beaters, dead-beat fathers, nurses, and just plain old citizens whose ancestors stole into this country on a boat. And this information is only on your mother's side of the family, wait'll you hear about your dad's lineage, you'll be wanting to wear a pillow case on your head every day!

Something for you to think about when you're a cool teenager with a butterfly tatoo and a nose-piercing (God forbid both, please)...remember when you were 2 1/2 and your got your first rocking horse? It was black and white cloth over padding and a black tail and soft fur that you loved to rub and you were very happy to sit on your "pony" saddle and push the ear buttons that caused the pony to neigh and toss it's head and wag its tail and make clomping sounds when it supposedly is walking. You tried to convince me that you needed to put your shoes on the pony, and likely would have if the feet hadn't been attached to the rocking bars. Now this isn't the old fashioned rocking horse of my generation that was just wood top-to-bottom, except for the mop-main and tail. Nor was it the one of your mom & dad's generation that had the springs attached to it and you could get those whipping across the floor if you got a good bounce going. No, baby-Fay, THIS particular pony was to be yours simply because you and another little girl were riding the floor models and I was struck with the realization that it won't be very long until you are asking me and papa to help you buy your first car -- or will it be a space ship or a land-speeder, and I wanted to be able to remind you of the day I bought you your first horse!!!

I am so inspired to stay healthy so I can always be a part of your life. It's so important to me to live a long time and embarrass you just as often as I can during your life, my first-born grandchild. Smooches baby.

The most wonderful day in my life-so far

2007-10-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

Here's my darlin' Fay at her 2nd birthday party in almost her favorite place, Nana's arms.

She doesn't look a WHOLE lot different from this picture, this was just taken in June, so you get the drift - blue eyes, blond hair... reminds me of ME when I was 2.

Anyway, I took Fay for a stroller ride last week and was so amazed by the difference in her ability to speak and reason, and was just FLOORED by some of the things she can say now~!! Wasn't she just a little slobbering lump of smiles and poo about a week ago? Now she's talking in sentences, reasoning things out, I'm totalled and amazed by it.

Ok - first we strolled up the block from her house, past the house where the dog lives that comes to greet us when we walk by, no dog on the porch, so Fay reasoned that "Doggy was sleeping". Next the house where the two cats live that we greet when we walk by, the black one is friendly, the yellow one isn't. This particular day we talked to the yellow cat, Fay was saying "Come here kitty" but kitty was busy sunning herself and wasn't coming to us, so finally the black kitty did and she was really happy to get to pet him/her. Finally we made it up the hill to the park - she told me "WEEE!!", which is her word for park. I pushed her on the swing, helped her up the ladder for a trip down the slide...many times on both. One trip across the playground from the swing to the slide, and she said "I love you Nana." That did it - I was melted totally. I'm so in complete love with this little person its amazing to me. I was in particular need of some unconditional love that day, and nobody loves anybody like a child does. We had to sit down and eat a pretend cake too, is that something wonderful and amazing at her age? Ok - it was dirt, and I pretended to eat it, but she was satisfied that I (being SOOO old) understood that it was cake and I should eat it!!

We talked while she was swinging and I was pushing. She noticed the sky and said she wants to fly up there. When I pushed up my sweater sleeves, she wanted to push up her coat sleeves. She noticed that her coat has a Barbie on it and mine doesn't. She pointed out that we were both wearing shoes.

After a while I told her we needed to get home for chicken dinner and that Mommy's home, to which she informed me that "No, Mommy's working at Mommy's Pizza". Turned out she was right, Mommy wasn't home when we got home, in fact it was about 1/2 hour later than that, but amazed I was indeed. After Mommy got home, she and Fay had a rousing game of blow belly and laugh really really hard about it. Fay grabbed mommy's cheeks too hard and got hollered at for being mean, and I told Fay to be nice, don't hurt mommy and give her kisses on her cheek to make it better, which she did, and she understood too. Wow she's smart. Watch out world, here comes FAY!!!

I understand what Irma Bombeck meant (I think she said it), that if she'd had known how much fun grandchildren were, she'd have had them first!!! Me TOO!!!

The magic afghan

2007-10-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

My big brother called last night. The fund-raiser for him and his bitch wife and family netted $4,000. He was so thrilled and happy he had to call and tell me about it. The group that headed the fund-raiser just couldn't get past the afghan being made by our deceased brother, and therefore they gave it to my brother, told him they didn't have the heart to raffle it off.
So - the magic afghan is on his king-sized bed, his cat is sniffing and rolling all over it, and he don't care if the cat snags it or not. So - now, guess it's my mistake to have kept that thing bagged up for so many years, wanting it to keep nice and all that.
Ricky was very important to me, and the disease that took him raged through him like a wildfire, he was in pain all the time and fighting everything that came in contact with him and his non-functioning immune system. Rick was always artistic, he painted and drew and wrote poetry and danced and sang and he was a lot of fun to smoke bong hits with because he'd always made faces and make me laugh. After he went back to Arizona our relationship changed, which happens when one is ill and the other is so far away and unable to understand what's really going on. After all, he always sounded exactly like the same person to me on the phone, and after he died and Brian showed me pictures of the living skeleton that was our brother, I was completely shocked by it. I knew he had AIDS, and I knew from pictures of other people and movies just what the disease did, but WOW what a shock to see it happen to Rick.
Anyway, I was talking about the afghan...Rick was a whiz of a crochetter, he could follow any pattern and never lost patience. The neatest one he did was an Indian Pony-type blanket, white, turquoise, red... Sure you know the style I mean, anyway, the intricacy of the pattern was made worse for him because the yarn was supposed to be cut and drawn in every time the color changed, he decided against that, he just kept all the colors running along and it turned out to be the neatest piece I ever saw. It's hanging on big brothers living room wall from the cane that Rick used during his last days.
When Brian called last night to say that he got the check and the afghan, my first thought was that I should have given him the afghan to begin with, of course it wouldn't have worked out this way as it should have. Brian and I talked for almost an hour and he's happy to have the afghan, he never thought to ask me for it, he said, because he had a lot of stuff from Rick anyway, and thought I wanted to keep that afghan. Yes, I wanted it, I told him, but I didn't want the stupid cats to snag it or hair it up, so I always thought some day I'd have a spare bedroom and the afghan could go on the bed in that spare room and be off limits to the cats... sure.. someday, maybe. Well, enough for now, take care all

whining and coughing

2007-10-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

Doing not much besides being sick and getting into trouble this week. Got Fay's cold (of course) so have been coughing and sneezing and feeling like a beat up mule in a windy stall under a wet blanket. Chris figured that considering Fay's size that her cold wouldn't affect me much since I'm 10X her size, and by doing the math one could assume that the cold germs would be 10X smaller getting to me, and by dividing the square root of the quotient of the sub-continental divide... yadda yadda blah. By the time he gets out the paper and compass, I'm heading for the computer...

I found an excellent recipe for lentil soup, made it and have been enjoying it for the past couple days. I thought some of the ingredients were odd - vinegar and spinach? Ok, well, hell, I'll try it once and if it's terrible, it'll go on the compost pile. WELL SURPRISE!! The vinegar gave the soup a really good almost spicy taste and the fresh spinach really livened up the color too. Started with E.V.O.O. and onions, garlic, and celery - cooked those a bit, then added in garlic, pureed tomato's and 2 cups of lentil beans (soaked those about an hour first), then 1 quart of vegetable stock and 1 quart of water, brought to a boil then simmered till the beans were cooked - took about an hour, then add in 1/4 c vinegar (I used balsamic) and a cup of sliced up fresh spinach and wait a few minutes till the spinach wilted, served up and WOW!!! Chris wasn't too impressed, and hasn't been interested in eating the rest, but that's fine - more for me!! It's really high in protein and only a couple hundred calories a bowl. Had it for both meals last couple days because not much is better then soup when a person has a cold.

This coming weekend is the big dopers barter fair up north of here. Amanda's guy is shirking his duties as a father and boyfriend so he can go get stoned and be stupid for a couple days. I'm so unhappy with the guy because he just won't get on the stick and be a father! He's so busy playing with his friends and being an immature idiot, I'd like to wack him over the head with a 2x4 about a dozen times. Amanda is responsible for getting all the babysitters lined up - me and other grandma - and daycare so HE can go bonging and 'shrooming with his buddies. His mother of course thinks he's straight and clean as a whistle... yaaaa right. Personally, I don't care a lot about the marijuana, what concerns me so much is that his hanger on buddies are more important than Fay and he runs off to play with his friends way more than I think he should. He's missing so much important stuff with her, and not even so concerned as to give up his night out with his friends to stay home and hold his sick daughter. Even less concerned with his poor sick-mother-in-law that dragged her sick ass over to his house to watch his sick daughter so he could go out(ok, side benefit, I went to watch her so Amanda could work). Oh - I know, I could have stayed home and called him and said TOO BAD BUDDY, you're on your own. I didn't because I knew he'd have a whiney-ass fit at Amanda and end up taking Fay to the daycare center. Will he grow up before I kick his ass? Stay tuned for further updates.

Meahwile, I'm washing the sofa pillows and blankets and going to string the cats with nylon socks with lavender-oil soaked cotton balls tied in. Everyone has fleas or mites or something and I'm sick of them bringing them in the house!! Bugs hate the lavender, and with the nylon socks the cats are safe from getting hung on a fence post. The nylon is stretchy enough that they can get out of it if necessary, and light enough that the won't really notice them at all. (not my idea, got it off the internet). Combine this with putting lavender oil in front of the doors and putting some in the vacuum water and hopefully we'll be debugged soon. Have to bug-bomb the place in the spring I guess. Unless we have a severe winter and all the larvea are killed in the freeze! For that I hope we have a hard cold winter. MORE SOUP for me!!!

Sorry to whine, I'm coughing and feeling like crud, holding my head and wishing I'd stop saying stupid things like I haven't been sick in MONTHS!!!! cough cough sniffle. Didn't have any houses to clean yesterday, and only 2 today, if I get there at all. Depends on if I can find some more Alka-seltzer cold medicine around her.

Still Livin and breathing!!

2007-10-10T12:06:00.000-07:00

Hey friends, I know...it's been days and days. I've been spending a LOT of time with my baby granddaughter light-of-my-life Fay. She's had a snotty-nose cold and just wants her Nanny to hold her, so how can I say no? Yesterday we went for a long walk -- ok, I pushed the stroller, and Fay snoozed up front -- but I took all the uphill streets I could find in their neighborhood and got a good workout while she got fresh air and a ride outside. God knows the vitamin D is good for her and me even if it's a bit on the cloudy side out there.

Otherwise, my big brother Brian is recovering from back surgery, his company is throwing a benefit raffle for him and his bitch wife and the family. So - I sent an afghan that I've had put away since our middle brother Rick passed away in 1994. The afghan is big enough for a double bed cover, and just beautiful - intricate granny square design in dark red with a beautiful cream color as the outter part of the squares. Anyway, I sent it off to the lady that's holding the benefit and she's been bugging me about if I really want to give up something my late brother made? Does Brian know about it?? DO I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING???? Well, hell of course I do - at least that's my hard-headed German story!!! I want that afghan to be used, and loved, and put out on a bed or sofa to be admired, as Rick would have wanted it. I never put it out because I don't want my cats hairing it up - or worse, getting their claws snagged in the yarn and ruining it!!! The last e-mail from the lady said that they're thinking of auctioning off the afghan because it's so beautiful and wonderful and everyone wants it. I think that's a great idea, because it'll bring in more income for Brian, which is the POINT of all this. Rick would be happy to have his afghan go for a good cause, he made many that he just gave away for raffles and auctions. He loved to crochet and he was so so talented.

We've been doing some diet changes, and I'm pretty happy with the changes. I'm eating protein for breakfast and then carbs and vegetables for dinner. Trying to find protein sources is different, because I don't eat beef or pork. Been eating a lot of beans though, and lots of rice. I invested in a rice cooker, and I LOVE IT! The heavy breakfast is helping me stay revved up all day, and I'm not hungry usually till its about time for dinner. As I work all day and have access to everyones cookie jars, it's to my benefit to be full and not NEED to stuff something in my mouth because I'm hungry. I'm losing weight, lost 8 pounds in 11 weeks, and feeling pretty good. Doing aerobics and walking, deep breating and all that too. I'm still not done with the caffeine, not certain I ever will be, but maybe... I use organic coffee beans that I grind fresh and make latte's with soy milk. I love the combination and it's only a couple hundred calories - so much better than those Starbucks mochafrappaccinodecafhalfcafflitewithfoams..that are 800+ calories...ewwwwwwwwww. Trying to find new recipes for beans, and non pork and beef sources of protein...amazing what you can find on the web. Typed in vegitarian protein, gosh I got 2,000 web sites to choose from! I hear my dad laughing at me.... he's old joke was that a person would give up smoking, drinking, sex and pork, go for a long walk - step off a curb and get run over by a health-food truck... yep, Pop... probably.

Hoping Gattina and Grammie and Claudia are doing well, I stop by every day or two and read your blogs, don't always comment, but you're in my thoughts always! Can't stay too far away from my blue-eyed grandbaby, feeling those little arms around my neck and her sweet breathing is just about enough to bust my heart wide open!!!

The Secret Sales Pitch, a book you should read!

2007-09-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

Here's a web site and a book I really hope you'll read and SOON! The Secret Sales Pitch: An Overview of Subliminal Advertising shows where and how we are subliminally pushed to buy products, or have certain feelings. Smoking companies, alcohol companies, the fashion industry all put funny little 'things' in their ads to talk to our subconscious and trigger feelings of NEED for that product. Screens are added to movies to scare us more. IT'S TRUE!!!

Even the movies tell us we NEED particular brands of cigarettes, alcohol, and soda pop. Recently I watched a movie and the characters were drinking Rolling Rock beer in scene after scene. The smokers were all smoking Marlboro's. Don't think movies are subliminally selling to you? Don't believe that ads in magazines promote sexual violence and feelings of inadequecy? Don't believe that Tony The Tiger is selling cereal to your kid? Well, The Secret Sales Pitch shows places where advertisers and promoters reach in and speak to that "I WANT" part of your brain, and you'll find yourself buying that product, or feeling the feelings they are pushing on you.

Mr. Bullock has been kind enough to have some e-mail discussions with me regarding his book and even though I was a bit apprehensive, I went ahead and told him about an error I discovered in his book (now THAT's cheeky, huh?).

I also received his kind approval to talk about his book here, and put the link in for those of you that are interested (and frankly, you should be!!) to go check it out further and get your own copy of the book.

I spotted an ad in the September Harper's Bazaar magazine and scanned and forwarded that on to Mr. Bullock for his input - and maybe a feature in his next book!! I was amazed by my reaction to the advertisement. It's for (it turns out) a high-end-fashion handbag company called Dolce & Gabbana. In the ad - three very well dressed women are fighting over a nude man. One woman has her hand around the throat of another, with an upraised whip in her hand! The third woman appaers to be about to deliver a smack to the well-defined behind of the nude man - who is draped over a chair. Where's the handbags, we all wonder? Well, heck, all that ad makes me want to do is go out and start a fight! Why? Because the undertoned message is about "the woman's internal conflicts as she simultaneously loves, hates, wants to destroy and wants to save the man." - this according to a comment from Mr. Bullock from our e-mail discussions after he got the scanned ad.

The Secret Sales Pitch: An Overview of Subliminal Advertising www.SubliminalSex.com
I hope you'll at minimum check out the website, at best order the book and get some armor from the bombardment of subliminal advertising!!! Good luck!

Trying out a photobucket link

2007-09-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

Well, according to the instructions, all you readers need to do is click on this link and you will be amazed by pictures of our trip to Lincoln City Oregon.
http://s219.photobucket.com/albums/cc71/janahoward1962/

Hopefully you'll get there and everything will be there like it should be. I'll download more pictures, I need to make them smaller so they don't take an hour to download like these did, geez that's nerve frazzling to wait and wait and wait and wait and wait. Did I tell you I hate waiting?

I found out something VERY important on this trip. My daughter called the hotel and the girl that took the message said she sounded odd on the phone, even though the message said it wasn't an emergency and I could call her if I wanted to. Well, being a mother, I didn't like the tone of it all, so I used my debit card and called from the room. Today I checked my banking online, and the debit card was charged $35.00 for the phone call!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still stammering and wondering who to throttle for this one. I'm going to call the hotel we stayed at and get the name of the phone company that dared to do this, and then Monday I'm going to call them and wham a few heads. My monthly phone bill isn't barely over $20, I'm NOT paying $35 for a 10 minute call from Oregon to Washington state on a weekday morning!! Just because I was born at night doesn't mean I was born last night!!!

I'll be interested to know if those of you that come on here were able to get to the pictures and weren't made to do a bunch of tapdancing at Photobucket. Gattina uses it all the time, so if its a bad deal, its her fault!!!

Off to the beach!

2007-09-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Well, we're rolling outta here for a couple of days on the Oregon coast - Lincoln City to be precise. For those of you on the other side or in the middle of the country who haven't been there, it's gorgeous and makes me feel small and wonderful to be there.
From here we head south west and pretty much stay that way till we get to Lincoln City. The hotel we stay in is about 100' up from the beach and we stay in the same place every time. Gosh such habitaul creatures, I know, but we've stayed at 3 or 4 different places and I have a problem because they aren't clean enough for me. This place doesn't allow little kids and we enjoy the quietness of that. The other place we stayed in, we had kids playing Volcano all night long over our heads (that byegone game of yesteryear where the floor is hot and you have to jump on the beds and all the furniture in the room in order to stay out of the hot lava on the floor). We also have our own kitchen and do our own cooking. I think I talked here once about Chris's dad giving us heck for cooking on vacation - saying its not a vacation if you don't eat out and let someone else do the dishes and cleanup. Well they went down to the casino and ate, and he got food poisoning, was in bed an entire day from it. I didn't tell him I TOLD YOU SO!!! but I really wanted to. Besides I'm so picky about what I eat I don't trust any kitchen but my own. I know my hands and utensils are clean and the food is fresh and prepared right and cooked thoroughly and NOT picked up off the floor and tossed back in the pan, or some just-about-rotten stuff that's masked in gravy or those ever inventive "spices". NO thankyou!!!
So - we'll be home late Friday, then we're taking Fay over to my brothers house near Puyallup Washington for my great-nephew's 3rd birthday party. Haven't been to my brother's in about 9 years, I really detest his wife, but being the bitches that we are, we can get along for one day long enough to give the kid a few presents and let them see their great neice, Fay was only about 8 months old last time they saw her and she's 2 now. Brother is going in to have his sinuses roto-rootered to get rid of an infection that the antibiotices won't touch. Wouldn't have anything to do with 30 years of dehydration and smoking dope now would it?? No way, what do I know that an expert medical team and a $10,000 surgery don't??? Better him than me, I suppose.
Otherwise, hopefully you can all get by without me for a few days, I'll have pictures to put on here when we get back, and if we see any whales I'll get a video. One time I watched a group of Killer Whales chasing sealions. Never seen anything swim as fast as those sealions were going, wow. Talk about Fast Food!!! BYE!! and behave!!

Missed my anniversary on Blogger!!

2007-09-02T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I was just reading someone's blog saying they've been blogging for a year, and it made me think, HEY, I've been doing this about a year too. Turns out it was a year in July, so I'm late to my own anniversary.
What a year it's been too. My daughter, son-in-law and grandygirl moved to the area from over on the coast about a year ago. I've been present for both Fay's birthday parties. What a difference it is to look at her pictures from then and to see her now. I was over yesterday to stay with her while John's granfather's funeral was going on - no reason to expect a 2 year old to behave in a group of mourners anyway. SO, mommy pushed Fay because Fay wouldn't kiss her goodbye, so Fay looks at me and says "Nanny, Mommy pushed me..." in the cutest little whiney baby voice you ever heard.
What else happened in this past year? Well - there was the broken ankle fiasco of August, 2006. I'm healed up pretty much, though still not very interested in hiking. I did replace those crappy hiking boots with some very high quality backpacking boots. We're supposed to go on vacation next week and do an overnight hike, we'll see what happens.
Chris and I had a couple really bad fights over the past year, some of those discussions ended up on here. I suppose that since we're both the babies of our families we're never going to be good at sharing. Though I'm better at it having had a daughter that insisted I share with her. Chris never had to share and is terrible at it. He neither shares his feelings or real discussions - he routinely talks about the feds, the masons, the catholics, and his new fantasy - the timeline on the building of the pyramids... boring!!! I pissed off family members in big ways, we got a new sofa too, which I like now a lot more than I did when Chris bought it.
Oh - I've met some really really neat people Blogging, and I am so happy to mention them, and thank them for coming by and commenting and offering support and suggestions when I needed them: Grammie, Gattina, Claudia, Ron, Pistols, Bert, and a couple of anonymous people too. I've learned some things are in blogger that I never knew about - like that lady and her pet - that turned out to be some S&M couple - that was weird. Saw some fat gay Chinese men too - now that was VERY GROSS!!!! I learned to put pictures in here and I got a new digital camera this year that I like a lot too.
I still hate cell phones, won't own one in my lifetime - unless they are make mandatory by law, and then I'll probably get jailed for not having one. I still love working for myself as a cleaning lady, and appreciate all my clients too.
Happy Blogoversary to me, and thanks friends for sharing the ride with me!!

Toxic grudges are killers, says the book

2007-08-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

Well, what wonders Jesus works in my life, and Thank You!!! An acquaintance loaned me this book to read, called "What you don't know could be killing you" by Don Colton, MD.
The book basically discusses that what the reader is eating, drinking, using, and holding in their hearts can cause diseases, poor health in general, and early death.
Geez, and I thought fried bologna sandwiches on white bread with double mayo chased down by a quart of Pepsi and a party bag of pork rinds was a good dinner!!!
No, really. After my dad died a few years ago I went through some physical problems, and did some changes in my diet. I stopped eating pork and beef eventually, and soda pop went not long after that. Milk and ice cream went too, though I still force down a scoop or two of vanilla with blueberries once in a while.
After the tragic ankle breaking episode of 2006, I sat around being bummed and pissed off and put on 20 pounds, which I'm still not able to get rid of!! All that exercising hiking and bike riding isn't doing anything --much-- so far.
Ok, WHAT's YOUR POINT!! I hear Pistols crying into his fist! HERE'S MY POINT!!! According to the book, I'm doing some good things to get less-toxic and healthier, and eventually take off that extra weight that is happy to hang around my mid-section, but that I'm UNHAPPY to have there, but there's other things I need to do to get this weight off, and get feeling better.
Next, comes the grudge ending, because that stuff is very killing. Grudges cause the digestive system to work poorly, can even lead to liver problems because the toxins in the body aren't released with all that garbage clogging the way.
What difference does it make anymore to the girl from 4th grade that I still get mad about that time that she got me sent to the principle's office for fighting, even though SHE started it by stuffing wadded paper in my desk? What difference does it make anymore to my ex-husband who kidnapped our daughter 25 years ago for his own reasons and left me holding this huge Samsonite sized grudge? I can forgive these people, let it go for my own health and wellbeing. Melinda is probably fat, and married to some balding unemployed goober who eats spaghetti with his fingers anyway. And I know that my ex-husband has spent his whole life in the shadow of his ghosts and of his father, never having let go of the things in his life that HE needs to forgive.
SO, Dr. Colton spoke to me directly, through his book, and so I thought I'd pass the name of the book onto those of you that could use a boost getting your health going in the right direction. Not everything in the book is for everybody (expecially YOU Gattina), but maybe if someone that I care about will read the book and get some better health in their lives, then I'll feel like I did something, like Phyllis did - she loaned me the book, and today I ordered a copy of it for myself so I can give her's back to her, because she should read it again!!
Um... Pistols, no, I'm not going to get me a white robe and a soap box and go on the road...I am however, going to start eating more vegies and way less bread and see if I can feel better. Even if I don't feel better, my grocery bill will go down, which will make me feel better anyway!! Win/win situation!!

Is forgiveness ever possible?

2007-08-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

Twenty five years ago this month my ex-husband kidnapped our 6-week old daughter and drove from Reno to Tulsa, Oklahoma with her. The month that he had her away from me was the most (get that, MOST) horrible time I have ever had in my life. I was 19 at the time and fresh out of high school, newly married, got pregnant on our honeymoon. Short engagement situation, met in June, married in October, and a new baby the following June.

Oh - it wasn't all cake and flowers with him. My ex husband had some serious issues from his homelife. The oldest of nine kids in a 7th day Adventist family, he had it rough. We never talked about his upbringing. The only time I was in the company of his father, the man never spoke to me. His mother was kind and even came to our house one time when Amanda was about 2 weeks old. She watched Amanda while I took a shower and visited till it was time to go back to her husbands office. My ex-husband devised a plan with a woman he worked with to go to HER family in Tulsa, where he would have a place to stay and people to watch our child while he got a job. He told her I was neglecting the baby and using drugs and messing around with some man in the neighborhood (never mind the fact that I just had a baby).

First, the law wouldn't help me because we were married and he had every legal right to take his child anywhere he wanted to take her. He didn't need to even tell me where they were - legally. Thanks to the support from my parents, I hired a private detective, I even consulted a psychic (and BOY was that a waste of money). Nothing worked, nothing helped. I had the paper run a story and offer a reward leading to the location of him and my daughter. Basically for that month, I sat in a valium induced fog waiting and waiting and waiting.

Finally one night the phone rang at my parent's house - it was HIM, saying that he wanted me to fly to Tulsa and meet him, say goodbye to my family and never plan to return to Reno. So, I told him I would, and he would call me the next day to find out when my flight would be in Tulsa and he and the baby would meet me at the airport. Well, I had already obtained a custody order and begun divorce proceedings from him. So the PLAN was to have a friend of the family go with me to Tulsa, serve my ex-husband in the airport with the custody papers, take the baby and get outta Tulsa, heading home. Well - Mr. Crafty came alone to the airport, ruining all our well-laid plans. Funny how that happens. So, I had to ride with him to the house he was staying at and there was my baby girl. Clean, happy and fine - thanks to Jesus for that.

After some time and tears the truth started to come out. The phone rang and it was his friend from Reno - the family he was staying with in Tulsa was HER mother and sister. The woman said that my ex had been fired from his job there - and her mother was very upset to find me there, and just what the HELL was going on now? Were they expected to take care of ME too?? Was I moving into the house too? No, actually, I wasn't there to stay, I was there to get my child and get back to Reno. I dropped the papers on the bed, got the baby and some of her things together, and the sister took me back to the airport. I flew us to Wichita that night and back to Reno the next day.

Not long later, my ex husband returned to Reno and got a job. I set up for child support to be taken out of his check and sent to me through the Social Services department. After he vanished from Reno and the child support payments stopped, I had him tracked to Arizona. I filed papers to have his parental rights terminated - which very much upset my parents because they thought my ex should pay child support either voluntarily or not. My thinking was that he could come around and request visitation, eventually be granted solo visitation rights, and perhaps steal Amanda again, this time making damn sure I never heard from him or saw my child again. So - thinking I was doing the right thing, I let him off the old hook.

I've always kept track of his location (thanks to some good friends of mine in the tracking business). He's a source of concern that if he knew where we were he could somehow do us harm. I wrote to him after Amanda was 18 to tell him that she was interested in talking to him and maybe having some sort of relationship, this is true, however, Amanda changed her mind after I received a phone call from his current wife. The woman had a bag-full of excuses for why my ex-husband couldn't call his daughter for himself, he was just so scared of the entire situation, but now if Amanda wanted to call him - well here's his phone number and address, she was welcome to write him anytime. Well, daughter declined, she said if after all this time he didn't care to call her himself or try to contact her at all, then she wasn't interested. I said fine.

Now recently I ran a check and got a new address, I sent him a note letting him know that Amanda has a baby and a husband and that we're all fine up here in the northern territory, asking him once and for all to explain to me what happened back then in 1982. My thought process is always to know that the address I have for him is current, so if he suddenly moves to Washington state, I'll know exactly where he is. Well, anway, the current wife write this 5 page letter to me, first telling me how happy HE is to be a grandfather!!!, Telling me all the excuses why poor ex husband can't pick up a phone and call someone - he's still living in the past where he might be punished by his daddy if he picks up the phone. Well, ex husband is now 54 years old, and his daddy is deceased. Ok - the rest of the letter is a lavish excuse pile of how he tried to find us in Reno one time and how he's not close to his family, though he still considers me and our child to be family and would I please send current pictures of his daughter and granddaughter for their "family" picture wall. She said she never discussed the time that he and I were together with him, because it makes him so sad to talk about it all. He feels so guilty about not having a relationship with Amanda, blah blah.

Well boo-freaking-hoo honey. I slammed a letter back, first asking her to NOT write me and not call me again unless it is to tell me he's dead so I know we are finally safe from him. Told her he is NOT a grandfather, having never been a father. I also asked her to ask him all the questions I need answers to: why he took Amanda, why he lied to those people and got them to help him with a home and a job in Tulsa, who gave him money to help get away from Reno, did he really try to kill the two of us by hitting a deer the night we left Reno on our honeymoon? (I was snoozing in the back seat of the car and distinctly remember the car accelerating, followed very closely by a slam and screaching brakes, and then I was on the floor of the back seat- when I sat up there was a dead dear in the road and the front of our car was smashed in). I wanted to know what happened in a few other instances along the way.

I wanted him to know that what he did ruined my ability to ever ever trust a man again. I got "fixed" after this happened to assure I would never have that kind of relationship with another man again. I never married again, and have had a lot of serious issues with Amanda because of the separation we went through at such a pivitol time in a mother/child relationship. I told her to tell him that if he'll honestly answer all my questions, I might be able to find a way to forgive him. And of course, I suggested to him that if he feels so guilty about it all, he could send his daughter $43,000 in back support he owes his daughter.

But is it ever going to happen that I can forgive what he did? Should I even? I can never forget or lighten up my vigilance against him. There is so much water under the 25-year old bridge, but I can still see him in my mind, I can still bring back all the raw emotion of the night I got home from work to find the house torn apart, him and the baby gone, all her things missing, and the phone off the hook. The fear I went through of not knowing if she was alive or not, if he'd dropped her off at some orphanage somewhere, if there was ever going to be a time that I would have her in my arms again. Once she was back, there were days I would look at her and not know her anymore. She even pushed away from me, a stranger to her. She and my mother Geri had a warm and sweet relationship, much closer than Amanda and I had. All our life together has been hindered by what happened when she was a baby. We're more like sisters than mother/daughter, and it all goes back to this time, this man, this action.

The last few days have been pretty anxious for me, reliving all this again. Chris of course doesn't understand anything about it. He knows what happened, but he can't understand why I would keep track and keep in touch with my ex husband. Sigh....what a quandary.

Coughin' in the valley!!

2007-08-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Cough... cough....cough
Geez I hate fire season!! There's trees and brush burning north of here and the entire valley is a big smog fest.... Just like smoking a pack without lighting up first!!!

The good part is it really puts the bends on our impending doom of a camping/hike this weekend. Back when I smoked a lotta dope and drank a LOTTA tequila, camping trips with Chris were a lotta fun!! I could hear all those comments and tirades about the Gov'mint and all the work they do keeping the little man down. Not followed far by the Masons, the Catholics, the scewed timelines on the building of the pyramids in Egypt...the USFS locking all those roads to keep us out - even though its public land and WE are the public.... Nowadays, camping trips are simply captive audience trips away from the computer and the comfortable dogonne bed. Blah-blah-blah --- he gets on his box and getsa goin' and I hear Charlie Brown's teacher - WA WA WAAA... WA WA WAAA. Even though I spent $180 on hiking boots, I'm still not going on an overnight hike. I still fear bears, the unknown, the nasty little snake crawling into my sleeping bag to get warm, the possible psycho in the hills with an ax and a bunch of banjo playing relatives.

Watched a FUNNNAY movie last night - Wild Hogs...what a hoot-fest. Ok, some of the stunts were really stupid, but watch to see all those guys riding Harleys - and YEP, they were really riding. It was fun and I laughed a lot. Ray Liotta was a good bad guy and Pete Fonda put in a bit part, SOOOO SAD that he was playing Ray's daddy in this movie. Remember his daddy Henry in On Golden Pond? Now THERE Was a movie. My favorite Pete Fonda movie is Sometimes A Great Notion (with Paul Newman and Henry Fonda)...God I'm old.
Oh - and I was mistaken. I watched The Ghost Rider a couple weeks ago, Pete Fonda was Satan in that one - and one of his lines was "Far Out" when the lights blew out in the carnival walkway. I told Chris that line was from Easy Rider, well, I watched Easy Rider, and Pete never said Far Out all the way through the movie. The closest he got was in the end when he was blown Far Out and away from his Harley by the rednecks and their shotguns... Ok, I was wrong, and I admit it.
BYe now - and Take Care!!

25 Ways to Tell You're Grown UP!!!

2007-08-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

Or how to tell Pistols I'm too OLD for him...sorry...

1) Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2) Having sex in a twin bed is OUT of the question.

3) You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4) 6:00am is when you get up, NOT when you go to bed.

5) You hear your favorite song in an elevator, and you know all the words.

6) You watch the Weather Channel.

7) Your friends marry and divorce, not "hook up", and "break up".

8) You go from 130 days of vacation to 14.

9) Jeans and a sweatshirt no longer qualify as dressing up!

10) You're the one calling the police because those *^%#* kids next door won't turn down the sterio!!

11) Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12) You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13) Your car insurance goes down and your car payment goes up.

14) You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15) Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16) You take naps.

17) Dinner and a movie is the WHOLE date, not just the beginning of one.

18) Eating at basket of chicken wings at 3am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19) You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20) A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "Pretty good shit!".

21) You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22) "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink like that again!"

23) 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work!

24) You drink at home before going to the bar to save money.

25) When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them, rather than screaming, "Oh SHIT , what the hell happened!!"

26) BONUS: You read through this entire list looking for ONE SIGN that doesn't apply to you, you can't find ONE to save your sorry old ass!!! So you'll copy this and forward it to a bunch of your old friends, so they can feel as good as you do right now, and so they can say something rude back to you!!

This was sent to me by my dear friend Leah from high school. I'll be sending her a private e-mail telling her how much I appreciate being reminded of my age...

Quick update for those of you following along

2007-08-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

I've received two e-mails from Howard's - not relatives. I mailed out 10 letters and have received 2 negative responses. Still waiting on those other 8 before I mail out anymore letters. Guess Howard is a common name and there's a lot of Charles, Marks and Rons out there. I do have another clue to follow up on however; a video tape of a Mark Howard that might be my half brother. He was interviewing someone on a small television station in Terrebone Oregon, my mom saw the program and wrote the station and they sent her a copy of the show on video. I will be writing/e-mailing the station and seeing if Mark still works there and if by some chance we're related.
I feel like there's only so far I can go, but I'll go there so at least I can say I tried.
Still getting the silent treatment from dear Auntie in Littleton. I can just see her over there, knowing she's wrong, but having her arms crossed and her lip out...Won't give in, will stand there till hell freezes solid. Well -good for her. She's the one that will lose out - not me.

I cut back on some work hours- I have two Monday's off this month and I'm really looking forward to days off during the week. The change in hours is going to cost less in monetary damage than it will benefit me in physical down time from work, so it's a win/win on the benefits and bullshit analysis program.
Well - back to my big day, take care all.

Out of the mop bucket and into the frying pan

2007-07-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

What an interesting thought process this is. I have been given an idea, and my mind is going through spins and whirls trying to figure all the intricate details.

A client has asked me if I know someone who would be willing to come in a couple times a week and put together a few days worth of dinners at a time for him and his wife. Which has lead me to the first thought: Well, sure, I can do that! Followed closely by: I'm working 35 hours a week and I can't add in any more hours, besides after I clean all day, I'm dirty and sweaty and I don't want to cook until after I have a shower. Then: How could I turn my cleaning business into a cooking business, make the same or better money, and have more satisfaction in my working day than I have now?

WELL....there's the rub right there in a nutshell.
1)HOW to get away from cleaning, that would mean selling my client list and my supplies to a very very very good cleaning person who would be as reliable and contientous and hard-working as I am.
2) HOW to go to a person's house - use their supplies and food and put together a few days worth of dishes in bakable or micro-wavable dishware. This would need to take into consideraton their dietary needs, taste, and ability to work an oven or microwave.
3) HOW to make as much or more money than I am now, and keep from turning the 'mop shoulder' I'm experiencing now into the 'repetative motion disorder' of constant cutting and washing and prepping of food products...
Hmmmmmmmmm she says... what a thinker this is.
From my management accounting classes I learned the cost/benefit ratio approach to any given situation, so I'm going to lay all that out on paper for my thought process to continue. (I have changed the title to benefits/bullshit analysis).
Any input from fellow bloggers would certainly be appreciated, because I know some of you are going to think outside the pan and help me put thoughts into the plan that I might miss on my own. Thanks in advance!!

What the HECK was that noise???

2007-07-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well, guess what?? There are living, breathing rattle snakes in Washington!!

Yesterday Chris and I were taking a couple-hour hike out in the desert lakes area around Quincy, we left the house about 7PM, and we both knew it would be getting dark before we got back to the truck. The hike to the lake and back is about 5 miles, so no huge deal, the trails are pretty flat and very well marked, and there's really no way to get lost as all the trails eventually lead back to the parking area. The area to the sides of the trails are mostly sagebrush and open ground to the canyon walls all around. It's really beautiful out there.

So - after we rested and drank some water and listened to the bull-frogs in the lake, we started back, we were treated to a seranade by the canyon group of coyotes and as we got about half way back I heard this horrible noise over to my right. I looked down just quick enough to see a rattler coiling and ringing that rattle like it was the last thing on earth this creature was going to get to do!!! I did the girl thing and skipped to the left and ahead out of the strike zone.

Well, that's about as scared as I can recall being in my 44 1/2 years on this earth. The snake appeared very very very large because it was coiling and rattling like that. I don't remember ever having that much adrenaline pumped into me in such a short time. I felt giddy and childish and held Chris's hand almost the whole way back to the truck. He asked me more than once to slow down and take deep breaths. He thought he saw ten more snakes on the way back, but they were all shadows on the path from rocks or roots. Of course he did his best to ally my fears by telling me that the first snake bite is usually a dry one, and normally they hit the ankles because that's the closest area to them (and since we had on our hiking boots we were probably pretty safe). He said it only feels like a razor cut...thanks Chris....yer a peachy helpful guy all the time.

So - in case anyone out there was wondering, yes, there are rattlers in Washington, I can attest to it personally. There were times over the years I thought I heard a rattler, but now I know for sure those were probably June bugs or something else, because it is a very distinct sound that you hear when its a rattler warning you to stay the hell away. Whew....I was glad to get back to the truck and climb inside out of reach!!

A correction, and taking further steps to find family

2007-07-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I heard from my cousin Scott. He says Aunt Claudia told him that my dad's ex wife left HIM and took away the boys. He never saw them again, and never knew what happened to them. I didn't realize it was that way, I thought he left them... my mistake.
Realizing though what a violent horrible drunk he could be, maybe it's not hard to understand that she left and took her kids away for safety and sanity sake.
Meanwhile, I've gotten some good SOLID suggestions from Barkingloud on tracking down my family members, if they're alive and have listed information. He suggests that I go on live-map and list each name that I have and write all the addresses down, send a generic type letter to each one, hoping to find a relation, which I'm going to do.
My cousin also reminded me that my Aunt Claudia didn't speak to her mother (my 92 year old Gram) for over 13 years over a fight they had. It took the death of my grandfather and the two of them standing over the grave facing eachother to finally come to terms. After all that time they went back to speaking to eachother as though not time were lost at all.
I asked him to tell Auntie that I wasn't talking about them, or their home or their habits, and ask them to forgive me, just as Jesus says - forgive those that wrong you. We'll see if that flies. I'm not holding my breath. As long as I get to keep my cousin, I guess I'll have to be happy with that. I'd sure like to send her that Ben Harper DVD though, I know she'd enjoy the music on it. I'd also like to know if the CD's I left her work or if they went in the trash. Scott told me that she tossed the letters I sent to her, and likely took me off her incoming E-mail list so she's not getting any e-mails from me. Nice to know I'm in her junk pile.... nice.
Meanwhile, we're going to be taking a trip over the mountain soon to see my brother and his wife and meet the grandson. They haven't seen Fay since she was about a year old, so we'll take the kiddo along to meet her great uncle and second cousin. Can't wait to get over there and see him since his surgery. Bone spurs in his spine were removed...wow, huh?
Take care all and God Bless!!

Looking for unmet family members

2007-07-08T14:59:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, my 17-year old father was married to a young girl. Chuck and Patricia had three boys in quick succession: Chuck, Jr., Ron, and Mark Howard. This started sometime around 1952. Not long after the 3rd son was born, my dad abandoned Patricia and the three little boys who are my older half brothers. Chuck met my mother, Geri in 1958 in Ely, Nevada. They married in 1959 and had me in 1962. My other half brothers, Brian and Rick were living with my mom in Ely, the product of her short marriage to David Walker from Mulvane, Kansas. She was 19 and met David in New York City when she was on leave as a member of the Women's Army Corp.

It wasn't till I was in my teens that I learned that I had older half brothers, Chuck Ron and Mark. Whenever the subject was brought up with my dad, he became vague and sometimes pissed off that he was asked about his past.

After my dad passed away in 2004, I asked his mother if she could tell me anything about my half brothers, if she knew anything at all. Well, being as she's in her 90's now, I can understand how things that happened 50 years ago would cease to hold importance in her mind. No, she doesn't remember anything anymore - not their birthdays, the maiden name of their mother, nothing. I asked my aunt the same question, all she can remember - being that she was only a young girl then, is that Dad told her that she wouldn't be seeing her nephews anymore, and that was the end of the subject.

I got some kind help from Ron Franscell, blogger of fame @ underthenews.blogspot.com. He got me a phone number in Longmont Colorado for Charles D. Howard. Well, I called Chuck Howard of Longmont, and he's not my older half brother, he's nearly the age of my late dad, sorry wrong family. A few days ago I tried a Google search, came up with another Charles D. Howard, turns out after an e-mail back and forth that it's the same CD Howard from Longmont. Oh well. Meanwhile, Mr. Howard is going to forward what info I have to his brother-in-law who is doing geneology on the Howard family, he might be able to help locate my half brothers. I have done some sleuthing on my own. I tried the marriage license bureau in Denver, Colorado. Since Dad was a kid there, I figured he and Patricia would marry there, but there's no license listed in 1952. I've checked for information on the Mormon birth/death certificate website, but without more information to go on, it's a real hunt in the hay. I'll keep hunting however, I hope to find them before I'm too old to enjoy knowing them.

In the meanwhile, do any of you know Chuck, Ron and Mark? Not necessarily Howards, might have changed last names after being adopted by another husband of Patricia's? I'd sure like to know if they're out there somewhere, and would like them to know that they have a younger sister. I considered writing to Maury, but that TV reality stuff is just more than I really want to deal with.

I'm hoping with prayer and patience somewhere in the world my relatives will surface. The sad part will be explaining to them how their father never talked about them, never tried to find them, or searched for them in all the time I knew him. I never understood that, but I never really questioned him about it. He wasn't the questioning type.

Hope Grammie is enjoying the rain and Claudia is enjoying health and her Caroline. Ron is home from the Yukon, if you check his blog I'd be you'll enjoy the story of the Sourtoe Expedition. Take care.

Paging Ms. Naive... are you IN?

2007-07-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever played "Next Blog"? Well the other night Chris was sleeping and I was bored, and had read and commented on all twelve blogs on my favorite list, so I hit the Next Blog button up there. WELL HOWDY!! I got into Destiny and her pet Chance's blog. I thought NEATO a new pet blog, see what's happening in Destiny and Chance's world. Well, guess I should have figured SOMETHING was odd when Destiny talked about buying Chance an easel and paints, and talked about going out for a picnic and some painting on a beautiful cliff overlooking some natural area that's oh so pretty with pictures of a nice looking guy painting, and he's left-handed too! (obviously not a dog or a cat painting).
Next Chance is talking about his Mistress, and I thought OH NEAT, another talking pet. (See, on Gattina's blog sometimes one of the people talks like its their cat commenting, so I figured that's what's up here)... Right up to the picture of the same good looking guy - Chance- in makeup and a dress, then HE went into some REALLY REALLY graphic conversation about their sex life. OHHH MY GOSH, I was RED in the face, embarrassed even. NO, I didn't stop reading, heck, I was shocked and amazed, but I had to know if I was reading what I thought I was reading or if I was really just missing the point. Turns out, NOPE, I wasn't missing the point, this is some kinky situation between a dominant woman and her domestic sex-pet, Chance. ewwwwwwwwww. Even the comments were odd, but guess if you're into tying up and degrading your "pet" this is the place to go.
Please don't get me wrong, I've been around a couple of blocks in my lifetime, but never the S&M block, it just never seemed like love to me to be shackled, blindfolded and beaten, but heck, some people are just too kinked. There's lots of fun and amazing stuff in Next Blog land, betcha Miss Ann wouldn't go there, not even with two DooBees at her side!

How to go 3,000 miles and insult your whole family!!

2007-06-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

Guess what happened when I was in Denver that I only figured out yesterday? I insulted my Aunt and Uncle and its very likely that hell will freeze solid before I hear from them again.

OH NO, you say! However did you do that?? WELLLLL, I have an in-bred talent for being unable to shut UP. I was rattling on about how I refuse to work for smokers or Catholics, because of experiences I have had with both, and I shared a few of my opinions and experiences. Being that I won't clean for smokers because of the yellow stuff all over that's too much work to clean off, and the smell, and because of all the relics and whatnot in "C"'s homes. Guess I should have realized when my Aunt and Uncle were just sitting there with their lips closed that maybe there was something amiss, huh?

Welp, not me. I just yadda-yadda'd on a while longer, there was mutual conversation, then we got up and left for the motel. Hugs and happy times were had by all. Next day we headed home. A month later I'm wondering why my Aunt isn't answering any of my e-mails at all? So I sent my cousin an e-mail and asked him if Aunt's computer is working and he laid me out with a right hook to the jaw (um.. through the e-mail of course). I insulted them personally, religiously, they thought I was snide and brow-beating about smoking, and its very likely I won't be hearing from them until Hell is a solid mass of ice.

So...not only did they feel I was insulting their home being smokers, but that I was insulting their religion too. No - they don't practice, but are baptized all the same. Now, HOW did the sister of my dad and her husband get to be Catholics and I was never told this? How is it in all these years of e-mails she never mentioned that? Why, while I was right there in the house didn't someone say HEY SHUT UP!! WE'RE DOING EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT IN OUR OWN HOME AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THERE'S THE DOOR!! Then I could have said right there, like I've said in TWO letters that I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THEM, THEIR HOME, THEIR RELIGION, OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH DENVER!!!! I was talking about my experiences, my opinions, and MY JOB!!!!! I said in my letter that I felt I was among family and that I could say what I felt like saying, and apologized about 100 times. Do you think I should have sent money too? Flowers? BLOOD???
I didn't tell Chris about this problem because he's going to tell me I TOLD YOU SO about 10,000 times. He of course probably knew I was out of line and said the wrong thing, he just sat over there munching on something and looking bland. The Aunt and Uncle I grew up around would have hauled me out the door by my ear... period.. Ahhh the good old days are past me now.
I'm not sure what to do from here. I'm happy to copy the letters I wrote to my Aunt if anyone wants to critique (critisize) them? Anyone want to make a suggestion other than let it alone for a while? Now that I know I was outta line, that is my plan. I wrote two letters, first to apologize for going on about smoking and to say I was talking about my job, experiences and opinions, and I thought since I was with family I was free to say what I wanted to. Second letter was to apologize for talking about Catholics, and again to say I was talking about my job, experiences and opinions and that I thought since I was with family I was free to say what I wanted to say.
My cousin hoped in his e-mail that I won't wait till I'm 90 to learn to shut up...Ok, I'll try.

The Terrible Two's have begun

2007-06-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

Next Stop... Puberty, or is it College? I can already hear that call...Nanna, I need to borrow some gas money... =-)

Well here's Nanna and Missy Fay - she'll be 2 the end of this month.

I tried really hard to change my picture to this one, but for some reason my mind won't follow the instructions Ron gave me last August. Guess I'll try again one day when I'm not sleep deprived.

Princess Fay is a tornado on legs - she twisted me around for almost 12 hours - including waking up in a strange bed this morning at 5 and announcing her discomfort with a shriek. This is going to be the last overnight for a while - much as I LOVE having her here, it's too hard on her to be away from home. I'll go there and stay over if the kids need me to. Saturday night my daughter was working till 11PM and son-in-law was working out of town.

So my I'm feeling OLD and tired today. Dragging around like I've been up for a week instead of only running on 5 hours of very light sleep. Guess I am indeed nearly 45.

She's still not talking a whole lot, she does say a lot of single words, but not making much in the way of sentences yet. I'll be happy when she starts using her words more and stops hitting to show her frustration. We had a real showdown when it was time to leave the park, I needed to use the bathroom and she wanted to keep swinging, so as I'm the bigger and older of the pair, I won the "who'se going in the stroller" argument, but all the time I was strapping her in she was smacking my arm and yelling NO,NO, NO!!!! She IS, however, and on a grandmotherly amazed note- putting her shoes on the right feet by herself already!

Progress is being made in the toilet training department, after she followed me into the bathroom at her house and pulled off her shorts and diaper and demanded to be put on the toilet to "GO PODDY!!", well... there was no prize winning sounds to go along with that, but she wanted paper, used it nearly right, got down, flushed and lowered the lid, then clapped and said YAY!!! So... I gave mommy money for the poddy chair, and even though Amanda isn't thrilled with the task, it IS time, and Nanna's 1 and 2 will be very happy when Fay is off diapers. So will mamma when she's not spending $40 a month on them anymore. Ok - might have some accidents, but heck, even at MY age that happens.. =-).

Ok, I'm dragging myself out to the couch for a couple hours of mumbling and sighing....byenow!

3,000 miles later and here we are again!!

2007-05-27T18:44:00.000-07:00

Well, what a circle that was!!
We started in Washington State (home), drove across to Montana, drove south through Wyoming, drove further south through Colorado, then west through Utah, further west through Nevada, then north through Oregon and then back into Washington.
What a country, and MAN is that gas expensive!! The most we paid was $3.90 a gallon, and that was so very painful to pay, but we were in Vail, Colorado, and of course it's more expensive in the middle of ski-bum-country. We got to the ancestral homestead of my mother's family in Florissant Colorado. I never felt rooted to my kin like I did there. We walked through the fossil beds and took a 5 mile hike through the area, it was great to get some fresh air.
Chris got a speeding ticket in Montana - we were almost to the Wyoming border, doing 85 in a 70 zone out there in the straight and no-where. Suddenly here's a sheriff coming at us, just in time to clock us at 85. He said 87, but my speedometer said 85, I was looking at it. Anyway, I had the registration and insurance and my driver's license ready, Chris has his license out. The sheriff asked if either of us had warrants, no sir we don't. He said the ticket would be $40 and that we were expected to pay it right there, either cash or check. I smirked thinking the officer was just mad we made him late to lunch and wanted us to pay for his food, so we gave him $40 in cash, he noted it on the ticket, and we were on our way. I got a picture of the car in my side view mirror, so that will be on here one day soon when I get the pictures off the camera.
All along the trip we saw beautiful country, took about 600 pictures between my digital and Chris's 35mm camera. He likes to take pictures of flowers and bugs, I prefer trees and clouds, so there's a lot to choose from. When we get the film developed from his camera we'll have the camera shop put the pictures on a disc so I can share them here too.
When we were going through Utah, instead of going to the big church, we went to the Great Salt Lake and the Bonneville Salt Flats - where the land speed records are set and broken, and walked on the salt - that was very interesting.
All 3000 miles behind us, we figured that we spent just about $300 in gas, triple what it cost us to take a trip to Arizona a few years ago after my dad passed away. The one thing I really hated in Colorado and again in Utah is that everybody seemed to be playing this fun game of trying to read the part number on the exhaust pipe on my car - going 80 down the freeway 5" off my bumper. I was scared a lot that I was going to get rear-ended, and scared that I was going to get pushed into the cars in front of me. Also - in most of the states we were in - minus Nevada and I think Utah, there is no Mandatory Helmet law - so people on motorcycles are simply bare headed. My uncle rebuts that it is his right as a person over 18 to not wear a helmet if he chooses to, and I agree that a person has a right to wear a helmet or not, but why would someone want to go 80 miles an hour down a highway without something to protect them from the bugs and dirt flying??? Catch a bug in your eye at that speed and see if you don't flinch and take your hand off the handlebar to pull it out and wipe your eyes, suddenly you're not paying attention and go flying off the road into a tree...wow.
Good news though, the cats survived our vacation just fine. They were really happy to see us when we got home last night, and everyone had to come tell me how long it'd been since they saw a friendly face. My daughter and grand-daughter were out here taking care of them, but its not the same as when mom & dad are here and open the cat food cans on time and feed them in the fashion to which they are accustomed.
All together with rooms, some food (mostly we ate from the BBQ and cold foods) gas for the car and miscellanious expenses, our vacation cost just over $1,400.00.
Did get a fright while we were in Winnemucca, Nevada yesterday. We stopped for gas leaving town, and the gas was $14.96. I handed the young girl behind the counter a $20. She hit the wrong button on the register and didn't get told how much change to give me. She ran in a panic to the adding machine on the other side of the counter - it was out of paper. She involved the other working girl there, who went to the other adding machine and figured out they owed me $5.04. I had been saying to the youngster that .04c makes it $15, and $5 makes it $20. She couldn't understand what I was telling her. Finally after two of them and two adding machines, they concluded that they owed me $5.04. The first girl was amazed and impressed that I could subtract $14.96 from $20 and get $5.04. I explained to the girl that it's always easier to add up than it is to subtract down. I think they'd have nominated me for president of the world since I'm so darn smart!! The poor girl next had to take a smoke break and calm down her over-worked brain. And this - dear people is the product of our school system and the advance of technology. What would people do if the adding machines don't work? I suggested to both of them that they should try adding and subtracting with a pen and paper - good practice.
Since I'm self-employed I do my deposits once a week and I don't use a calculator - I use a pen.
I'm Jana - and I'm running for president.

We're OUTTA HERE!!

2007-05-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

Well, just in case anyone misses me --- we're leaving on vacation for a week. Driving from Washington through Montana and Wyoming and then to Littleton, Colorado to see my 91 year old Grandma for a few days, while we're in Colorado we'll take a day trip to Florissant to see the homestead of my ancestor Adeline Hornbek. There's a web site dedicated to her and the homestead in case anyone's interested in looking at it. What I find so interesting about her is she built the cabin herself and raised 3 kids alone- one is my great-grandfather Elliott Jr.
On the way home we'll go through Salt Lake City, if they'll let us heathens in I want to see the Tabernacle and the boys choir. After that we'll go through the Moab desert and then home. About 3,000 miles in 9 days... whew I'm tired already!
See you next Sunday when we get back!!

A Few words about the furbies in my life

2007-05-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

Here's Benjamin in his "Superman" pose, and Buddy on top of the old sofa and Ben halfway underneath it. Sassy is snoozing in her favorite cubby, and Shadow is glaring at Benjamin for daring to walk near her. I swear my life would be so boring without the cats.

Sassy is the oldest - she's 13, Shadow is next at 9, Bud is 8, and Ben is 3. Shadow and Sassy are both polydactyl cats (extra toes on front feet) both have kinks in their tails, and bad attitudes. Shadow is the best lap cat in the house. Sassy is next, but suddenly when she's in my lap she will get mad because I'm petting her and will hiss and run from the room. Bud is very calm unless I'm buggin him by pulling out tangles or sticks from his fur. He rumbles through the house every night carrying his toy barbell around. I don't know why he does it - maybe he feels like the MAN of the house or something. Benjamin Franklin came to us a couple of years ago, hungry, and sick. Love my pussycats!! Happy Mother's Day to us all!

Its a BIRD and some cats!!!

2007-05-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

This is a Western Tanager

I hope the group doesn't find the Tanager, as this is the first time I've seen one. He's so very pretty and has a great song. I was looking out the cats' room window -(yes, the cats have their own room, don't YOURS?), and I could see this beautiful flash of yellow flying around in the yard chasing bugs. Well, we got out the camera and took this shot of the bird. I went on the web and typed in Birds of Eastern Washington, got this great website - BirdWeb, and was able to look through the pictures of the birds in the area till I spotted Mr. Piranga Ludoviciana and learned that he and his mate are monogamous breeders, guess they don't stay together after the eggs hatch, they incubate 3 to 5 eggs and both parents feed the babies. Mostly they eat bugs which is what we saw the male doing. Neat, huh? Wow - never know what you're going to learn looking out the window on a sunny Saturday afternoon.
Meanwhile, the brood of cats are a bit hard to see, but Benjamin is in the green chair, Shadow is in the closest spot to the camera, Sassy is standing left of the wheelbarrow and Bud is laying in front of it. The stairs on the wall lead up to the cat door, and the chair at the bottom is to aid the older cats - Sassy and Bud to get to the bottom stair. One of these days Chris needs to put in another stair for them, but meanwhile, they can jump in the chair, if Benjamin isn't in it.
Meanwhile hope you're enjoying your Saturday afternoon, as I am. I go outside and the cats follow me around the house - best exercise they'll probably get today!!

The big ugly sofa is here!!

2007-04-27T07:12:00.000-07:00

Well, here's the monstrofasee for you to look at, gaze in wonder at this monster that takes up 3/4 of my living room. It's HUGE, it's UGLY, and it's DOGONNE uncomfortable!! The memory foam is in the seat cushions- the back cushions are just plain old foam. The color is NOT the deep rich red color I expected, though it looks kinda pink in the picture, it is just red. It causes a lot of static electricity that is pretty shocking as well.

Of course, Chris says its very comfortable, and likes that you are forced to sit up more straight when you sit on it. Yup, there's only one way to sit on this thing - upright - like a church pew. I have spent a few hours on the other end - on the chaise lounge, and it's ok for a little while, then its time to get up and get back into my chair.

He actually wanted me to give up my La-Z-Boy when this thing was ordered, and I told him no way, that chair has been under my butt for almost 20 years, and it's not going anywhere till it falls completely apart and is laying in pieces on the living room floor. It's still in very good condition, the fabric is still as nice as when I bought it in Reno all those years ago.

The ONE nice thing is that ridge around the back, the cats just LOVE to run around that thing. Benjamin thinks that where he should be most of the time surveying his domain, his big issue is he can't get underneath this couch, it's only 3" off the floor. Buddy likes the big flat end over on the far side, he can stretch out far and wide (as he is very wide). Sassy and Shadow are sleeping on it once in a while. The fabric collects cat hair like a magnet, and one of us is using the lint brush daily to clear away a spot to sit on.

My old sofa is going to the goodwill, they'll be here tomorrow to cart it away. I wish I could keep it, but its no more comfortable than ol' big and ugly here. Chris would NEVER EVER NEVER admit he made an error and bought something big ugly and uncomfortable, guess we're stuck with this. Whenever I can replace it, I think I'll find a high-back old fashioned couch with wagon-wheel fabric and wooden armrests!! Or maybe purple and pink and polka dot with dinosaurs!! YEEHAWW!!!

TAG, I'm it!!!

2007-04-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

Well, thanks Claudia for remembering me in your list of people to tag for this Wikipedia game, here's my responses to the fun....fun? Ok, well, I was amazed by some of what I learned!

First, you are to go to Wikipedia and type in the month and day you were born.

December 26, 1962 - that's me

Second, you are to name 4 events that occurred on that day.

1)1825 - The Erie Canal opens

2)1862 - The largest mass-hanging in US history took place in Mankato, Minnesota, killing 39.

3)1944 - The play The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams is first publicly performed. ( great story - if you haven't read or seen this play, you should)

4)2004 - An earthquake measuring 9.3 on the Richter magnitude scale creates a tsunami causing devastation in Sri Lanka, India, Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, The Maldives and many other areas around the rim of the Indian Ocean, killing more than 200,000.

Third, you are to name two important birthdays on that day.

1) 1979 - Chris Daughtry, American singer (How LUCKY this guy from American Idol is to have the same birthday as me, and I'm Interested to know this!!)
2)1914 - Richard Widmark, American actor (The only other name on the list I knew, a favored actor of mine)

Fourth, you are to name one person whose death occurred on that day.
1985 - Dian Fossey, American gorilla specialist (b. 1932) (What a brave and interesting person)

Fifth, you tag five fellow bloggers. You are chosen, but if you don't want to play,no problem at all. Now if I can just figure out how to put tags here, we'll all be amazed!!
Well -lets see, Claudia got Ingrid, so I'll get:
Morgan: onehippiesopinion@blogspot.com
Grammie: awaitingbuddah@blogspot.com
Ron: underthenews@blogspot.com
That's all I have besides Claudia and Ingrid, sorry!! Hopefully these three will play too!

Strangers in your house

2007-03-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I had an incident happen the other day, and feel the need to share it here with my friends. As you all know (by now) I'm a cleaning lady, this is my 5th year in business. I'm well trusted and have keys and alarm codes to nearly all my clients homes. As I'm in peoples homes, I know where their safes are, where the cash is kept, where their pills are, in some cases - where their "personal toys" are.
All my clients can trust that not only is their stuff completely safe with me, but that I take a personal interest in making sure that they keep safe about it. I have chided clients for leaving PIN's to their credit cards laying in plain sight of glass doors. I have asked clients to remove hand guns from the cleaning area (OMG I hate guns). And in the past few days a new problem has surfaced: One client now has caregivers in their home round-the-clock.
What's the problem you might wonder, well, lemme tell you: They are in their early 80's, wealthy people in a very big house, just the two of them. Their kids live in other states, so they are alone here in town. Last winter she fell outside a restaurant on ice and whacked her head, and has been going downhill since then (no lawyers, and no lawsuit- please don't get me started, as that's not my point). Ok, she has several large bottles of prescription pain medication in the house. Her husband doesn't know what drugs she has, what she takes, or when. They have cash, credit cards, cell phones, checks, jewelry, etc.,etc.,etc. just laying around their house.
Now here comes 3 or 4 strangers round-the-clock. The woman is not aware most of the time of what's going on, and her husband is playing Ostrich. I know the company that these care-givers come from does not drug test or background check their employees unless there is some concern. Well, honey, I'm concerned as HECK!!! Not (of course) that a drug test or a background check is going to show anything. In this day and age a former employer can't tell a prospective employer anything, including that someone was fired for refusing to take a drug test.
Reading Claudia's blog gave me pause for concern because her mother-in-law is in her 90's and might need in-home care in the future.
So what do you do? Well, as I told Mr. Client: Don't assume that everyone is a thief and is out to take advantage of a situation, but know exactly what you have and where it is. Put away the cash, credit cards, cell phones, checks, jewelry and drugs!!! Don't give someone the opportunity to take what doesn't belong to them. Another client said the caregiver for her blind brother was stealing linens and jewelry (for Gosh sake!!!). A caregiver for my grandmother was stealing booze, and some jewelry mysteriously disappeared. The diamond from her wedding ring vanished in the nursing home.
Be aware, be realistic, know where great Aunt Melba's antique diamond ring is, know how many morphine pills are in the bottle, and know how much cash is in your house and lock it up. Lay out limits for the strangers in your house: They are allowed in this area of the house, not this area (in the case of these clients they have separate bedrooms and the caregivers have NO reason to be in his bedroom). Ask the company that hires the caregives to drug and background check every one that is in your home. CHECK REFERENCES on your own, do you have older friends that have in-home care? Who is it? What are the company's guidelines? Do they have any issues with the Better Business Bureau or the Department of Social and Health Services that you can check?
You don't leave your car unlocked, and you don't walk away from your purse in the grocery cart in the store. Protect yourself and your property, be smart, be aware, and when in doubt or if there's a problem, don't just ignore it, speak up!!!

Still Painting!!

2007-03-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

Just a quick hello for those of you that are interested to know... We're still painting! He checked on the status of the sofa and we still have a good 3-4 weeks till it'll be here, so plenty of time yet to finish the paint and clean the carpets... HOPEFULLY.

We have got 3 of the 4 walls done in the living room. Saturday was consumed with a terrible, tedious, hateful job that I NEVER want to have to do again. All the old paint had to be taken off the windows in the living room. This house is around 30 years old and lots of rotton painters have lived here, or the rotton painters were hired by people that lived here. Anyway, the metal around the glass in the windows was covered with all those years of drips and brush wavers from years gonebye. So, our job was to use sandpaper and screwdrivers and putty knives to remove all that. Plus the extra fun job of cleaning out the window tracks of all that cat hair, bug carcasses and dirt. Yuck. Thankfully as a cleaning lady I have lots of good solvents to do most of the yuck-lifting work, but still had to use a screwdriver and a bunch of cloths to get it all out of the tracks. Saturday night, after 8 hours of cleaning, and sanding... We then taped the windows and ceiling, then plastic'd and taped the heaters, put down the drop cloths, and put on the first coat of paint. Finally at 11pm we were finished. I dragged myself to the shower and fell into bed. I was only in need of two Tylenol on Sunday morning to loosen up those sore muscles between my shoulders from all that overhead sanding and scraping.
Sunday, we put the second coat on and went for a 5 mile bike ride. The weather was SO pretty I really needed to get out. First of course was a trip to town to get a new tube for Chris's bike. All last year he fought to keep the one tube going, we have a lot of goat-head plants in our area and bike tires really suffer for them. Yes, we use that green stuff, which helps of course, but the tube can only take so many punctures then nothing will help. SO we biked. There's lots of hills and dales and dogs to dodge. Neighbors down the road have a potbellied pig and a shetland pony, so we try to ride down there so we can say hello to the critters. The shetland was dressed out in her buggy-pulling gear, I didn't see the buggy though. I assume since she's so small that she probably pulls something akin to a wagon. Wish we'd have seen it, have to get a picture next time.
Oh - speaking of cameras: I have the box here and can tell you its a Panasonic DMC-LZ5. When the screen comes on it shows the word LUMIX on it. I took a few days to read the instruction book and am now taking pictures and have been able to view them on the big screen on the back of the camera. I haven't measured it, but I think it's 3" across. The zoom is super easy to operate and it takes very nice pictures. The software that came with it downloaded in just a matter of minutes. No, I haven't downloaded pictures off the camera yet, but I have new shots of Fay and some before-after pictures from a clients house. Also, the camera can take videos and is capable of capturing sound - so when it's Fay's birthday in June again I intend to be versed enough to take a video of her blowing out her candles and record the singing of Happy Birthday!!
Otherwise, I'm sore and crabby from all the work this weekend. Looking forward to a 6-hour Spring Cleaning job today. Vinegar and Water for the blinds and windows. Orange Oil on the kitchen Cupboard, then 2 hours of plain old cleaning!! YAY!! Bye for now!

Where's the rest of the bird?

2007-03-02T15:59:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up to find a partial bird wing...and a couple feathers...laying on the floor in the cat's room. I looked in the corners, and around the food dishes, figuring I'd find a foot, or a head or some other part. Nope, just this one little wing is all the eater left for me.
There's been times over the years - especially when Sassy was a young and feisty hunter, when I'd find a mouse or two a week on the front porch. Not damaged, just laying there for me - left with love, showing me that she was willing and able to provide for me.
Now that we have the cat door, any of the 4 will bring something in the house - sometimes the catch isn't dead first and there was one time I was summoned to the cat room by the sound of a frantic baby Robin hollering in the corner, and the cat hollering at the bird. That one was hurt, and not knowing what to do with it that didn't require a well-placed shovel smack, I took it wrapped in a towel to my neighbor the sheriff, who dispatched the poor thing quickly.
Mostly the hunter in question leaves a foot or a tail or a head: some sign that a meal was eaten...but this time the bird must have been particularly tasty because only the grissle was left.
I realized too today that its been a couple of weeks since I had anything interesting(or otherwise) to say here. I read blogs almost every day and find time to comment, even wrote an e-mail to my dear Moobear today because it's been nearly a week since she's written anything and aside from Sundays she's usually writing something every day. Even in the aftermath of tornado's Grammie had something to say, so figured I'd better at least try... and all I can come up with is dead bird parts... sorry.
OH! I did get to see Fay and Amanda today. We went to lunch then to Old Navy for a short shopping trip. Fay needed badly to take a walk, so we walked around the outside of the mall. She tripped a couple times and got dirty hands. Now mostly she's not a GIRL about things, but she just HATES to get her hands dirty. She looks at me with those huge sky-blue eyes as if it's my fault her hands are dirty - and of course it was because I didn't prevent her from falling down...darn grandma!! Anyway, I told her come wipe that on Nana's jeans, baby. From then till we turned around for the car every time she got anything on her hands -- yes, she fell at least 5 more times being tired and full from lunch -- she had to come running up and wipe her hands on my jeans. Now I have several complete sets of Fay-sized dirty handprints on my pants, and oh how I wish I could tack them to the wall to save forever. Sadly, they're my one pair of work pants, and they're back on duty on Monday.....sigh.
We're supposed to get back to the painting project this weekend. Chris is finishing up the wood piece for the kitchen window and then I guess we're going to start taping and getting ready to do some painting. First a trip to town to find some sort of door to close off the hot water tank area. It's too tight to paint behind there - and the different color will show once we paint the laundry room, so we'll simply block that area from view. Just like when I was a kid and my mom would shut my bedroom door when company came. Out of sight - out of mind!!
In case you're interested, I found a nice lady at Confessions of a Stressed Out Mom. I've been stopping in and just giving away all the advice I can and I'd bet she groans every time she sees I've been by again. Well - heck - I've been in serious debt, been partially employed, been a debt collector, and I have some knowledge to give to someone in those circumstances trying to swim out.
I told my daughter I wish I could go back to when I lived at home and my parents paid my bills and I didn't have to worry about being a grown up with responsibilities. I also told her I wish I could go back to that one turning point in my life and change the direction I took then. We all know that ONE PLACE where if we'd have only gone left instead of right our entire lives would have been different. Today I'm feeling like I wish I could go back there and go left.....sigh.

Somebody said "Let's order a new sofa"!!

2007-02-15T22:43:00.000-08:00

Will a simple painting job in the house ruin a relationship?

How does one know that the phrase "lets buy a new sofa" will completely and forever change your life??? Oh, you might think that it's a small thing, after all, its an inanimate object, right? How can something L shaped and covered in BEAUTIFUL dark red fabric over memory foam, with solid wood feet, which takes 8 weeks to be built and delivered change everything?

Do you play Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who sets the schedule, does the rotton grunt work of taking all that crap off the walls, removing the plug covers, taping the ceiling, taping the plugs, moving everything heavy. Then that next neat part of washing the walls, removing the cobwebs from the corners, making sure everything is in place - the tarps, the paint pans, the brushes, rollers, rubber gloves. Hours, or days later when you finally get to put paint on the brush (or roller) and finally get to put paint to the wall, who decides how to start, where to start, how long to paint, how many coats to paint, how long between coats, if after one coat you HATE the color, who screams STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!

I was raised by a painter - he always handled all the painting jobs in our home. My big job was to pick the color of my room, put everything in the middle of the bed, and get the hell outta the way!! Usually the next afternoon, I was allowed to resume living in my room, if the smell was gone. Magically the room was clean, bright and done.

Now... well, things are WAY different. We start with that saying, "lets order a new sofa".

I looked around...the paint is old, and the carpet is dirty, and the drapes won't match, oh and if we're painting in the (currently tan) living room, we better paint the (currently tan) kitchen. He said 'I like this color, and this color '. I, "like THAT color, and THAT color", and of course the carpet is This COLOR. Well -thankfully, the girls at the bank (his OTHER WOMEN) told him strongly that the woman is supposed to pick the paint. So, we compromised, I chose the kitchen color, he chose the living room color, after all, he paid for the sofa. Being the M A N that he is, he doesn't understand the logic of color-choices for a woman. I wanted the kitchen color to make ME feel comfortable, since I spend a LOT of time in that room. I chose a medium green shade, it's very perky and livens up the small space. Trying to explain the logic behind a woman's color choice is akin to explaining electricity to a rock. He of course has a logical statistical reason for everything in the world, including paint color. The living room - by the way, will be dust-rose. Mostly white, with a very faint hint of red, which will accent the sofa.

Last weekend began with removing stuff from the dining room and kitchen walls, moving the stove and fridge out of the way, plug covers, taping against the ceiling, taping against the floor, taping the plugs. Then washing the walls and scrubbing the wood trim along the floor, and plastic over the cupboards and counters. Chris did a major job of doing some stain work to the cabinets that were bad. That took about 18 hours all together over a few days to get started. Then the tarps and the paint came out and we could finally get started. 8 hours later the first coat was on the kitchen, and its wonderful to see finally what my green kitchen is going to look like. After I finished cleaning the roller covers (oh and by the way - lesson learned here - don't wash the roller covers, they're cheap, throw them away and use fresh ones with the second coat), I showered and fell in bed to go to work the next day. Chris stayed up to put a second coat on, and yes he used the washed roller cover. Well, I got up the next morning to roller streaks on the wall.

If it'd been ME that left streaks, I'd still be hearing about it a week later, but because it was HIM, I got home from work and was told " there's streaks on the wall, guess we'll have to live with it, cover it up with the mirror and the pan rack, and in a couple years we can repaint the wall". Ohhh... Jesus please help me to stay calm and remember that murder shouldn't ever start with the phrase "lets order a new sofa"...

Well, we took all those ugly plastic plug and light switch covers and threw them in the garbage and bought beautiful medium finish solid oak covers. They look just excellent against the green in the kitchen. We changed a dimmer switch that was hooked into the ceiling fan for a regular up and down switch, now the fan is quiet!!! We changed the thermostat to the heaters in the living room to one that is digital and program-able, and it works, and the rooms is warm.

Countdown, the sofa is only 6 or 7 weeks away, we have to finish at least the living room and hallway and clean the carpets, then there's the laundry room and the bathroom. Nope, first the bathroom heater needs to be changed, then the touchup work to the kitchen and dining room celing (paint bled under the tape and we have GREEN streaks on the ceiling and along the floor). Next is caulking behind the counter and leveling the stove again, and hanging the pans and oh, I have to go find a new dish drainer and garbage can. Bummer, seems we're going to have to paint next weekend, if we are both alive, and still living in the same house!!!!!!!!!

Things about me!!

2007-02-08T08:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I was reading Clara's blogspot today - celebrating her 100th blog with a list of 100 things about her, and I was inspired. Why? Well, why not? If you're interested in reading about Clara, please do - clarascorner.blogspot.com.
Ok, here's some about me, but I doubt if I'll get to 100, I'll try:

I love to crochet
I love to spend time with my granddaughter Fay
I have painted most of the rooms in my house inside
I love reading blogs, writing on my blog, commenting on others too
I love to eat fresh organic foods
I love hot espresso coffee with steamed soy milk and honey for sweetener
I enjoy making chicken and fresh vegie stirfry
I love to make and eat salads with lots of fresh crunchy ingredients
Both my parents and one brother and 5 grandparents are deceased
My grandma Reba is still alive and living in her own place at 92 (this October)
I'll be 45 this birthday in December
My daughter will be 25 in June
My baby grandygirl Fay will be 2 in June
Did I mention I hate cellphones???
I hate when people talk on their phones in public places like restaurants
I hate when people blow their noses in public
I hate when kids stick their dirty hands into the bulk bins in the grocery store
I absolutely positively without a doubt hate cigarettes and the smoke and the health issues involved with smoking and complain a lot about it... gee really?
I've been sober from alcohol for almost 2 years now
I think there should be a LAW against use of cellphones in moving cars
I love to hold my cats and listen to them purr
As much as he hates it, I enjoy trimming Buddy's hair, he's my longhaired siamese
I love reading through cookbooks and seeing what it takes to convert to organic foods
I love using my glass top stove and trying out new recipes
I have never been on the roof of a house - mine or anyone elses
I enjoy cleaning my house and mostly enjoy cleaning for my clients
I did mention I'm a housekeeper, right?
I love being self employed, though it costs me more in taxes every year
I hated having lying self-important lying degenerate lying bosses
Did I mention I hated having bosses?
I enjoy crocheting and reading
I used to read everything Stephen King wrote till he got weird after his accident
Jesus is a fulltime resident in my life (Thank you Jesus)
I pray alot, mostly I ask Jesus to help me help my stupid self
I have one girlfriend from highschool, and one from college, otherwise, the women I blog with are the only women in my life, oh except for Chris's mother, and his sister
My boyfriend's parents think Jesus doesn't speak to anyone, and that unless a person goes to church they won't go to heaven
Chris's grandmother worked in a clothing manufacturing plant when she was young, and so did I
I love remembering Fay as a tiny baby, holding her and smelling her baby-smell, now that she's 20 months old and can't stop for more than 10 seconds for a hug from Nana
I smile every time I realize my grandygirl named me Nana, so now I'm Nana Jana
I enjoy folding laundry, I love that warm fresh from the dryer smell, unless their dried outside, then I love that warm fresh air smell
I change the sheets on my bed twice a day- Chris likes satin sheets, I like cotton sheets. We sleep on different shifts since he's on graveyard shift
I enjoy starting a new crochet pattern and working out the kinks till I get it right and then it goes so smoothly. I get sad when its time to stop and tie off that last stitch
Chris and I have been together 6 years, the longest relationship for either of us. We discovered after we met that we have mutual friends - that never introduced us to eachother
I graduated from high school in Sparks, Nevada in 1980
I let the cats in my bedroom sometimes at night, even though its NOT ALLOWED
I like sewing clothes and repairing torn things, I enjoy designing clothes too
I enjoy taking Fay for walks in the stroller, she loves to get outside!!
I love holding Fay and feeling her snuggle down and get heavy with sleep on my shoulder
I like to wash my car inside and out
I don't wear makeup - it makes me itch
I don't fuss with my hair, some days I don't even comb it, just put it in a scrunchy and go
I don't like camping much because there isn't a hot shower out there anywhere
I love going out in the woods and listening to the animals and the silence of the forest
I enjoy driving and taking road trips, its the other drivers that make me crazy
We were at Mt. St. Helens when it suddenly spewed steam and a huge rock crashed down from the top, this was two years ago
We went to Yellowstone and I was ashamed to admit that I never knew it was a volcanic area till I was standing in it. The starter on the truck broke and we had to push-start the truck for a day till we got to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and bought a new one, talk about a hole!!! What rude awful people we dealt with in that town
I love to talk about my cats, wish more people liked to hear about them
I love my older clients, since my parents are gone, they are my family now
Poor spelling drives me insane.
I have called businesses to report the bad driving of their employees in company vehicles
I have wished 10,000 times that I were a police-woman so I could stop people and issue tickets, or better yet take their license!
I never think about being to work on time since I work for myself
Chris's great aunt and my dear friend Myrtle grew up together in a town about an hours drive from here. They are both in their 90's now.

This is probably enough about me till I get to 100 blogs or my year anniversary, whichever happens to come first.

Football and Racism

2007-01-22T09:40:00.000-08:00

The Bears and the Colts are going to SuperBowl in Florida!! I'm kinda excited about it, though would have liked to see the Seahawkes actually make it. I'm thinking the Bears are going to stomp all over the Colts, win by a minimum of one touchdown, and the game will go over 50 points. I learned about football from an ex. I was determined to learn about it because I was running his bets and our rent and grocery money was won or lost on his ability to pick winners. More often they wer losing bets. Of course his cocaine habit and boozing had nothing to do with poor picking..or the fact that he'd win on the football and lose it on the tables...but that's another story for another day.

I have an attitude with the "First African-American coaches in history" hoo-haw. Who cares? And who ever thought up that African-American business anyway? Doubtful either of those guys is from Africa, doubtful either has even been there!! Does this mean I should be calling myself a Nevada-American? I'm not white - I'm Dutch, Irish, English,German. So what should I call myself? Now the hispanics want to be called Latino's or Latina's. I don't get that either. What's wrong with person, human, man or woman? Race issues come from within, not from without. Everyone interviewed about it yesterday said the same thing, they'll be so happy when race isn't an issue anymore. So, stop talking about it!!!

Grammie said she doesn't get how Dave can sit for hours and watch men run up and down chasing a football. I never got it either, till I learned what it was all about. It's about buff guys in TIGHT pants running around trying to hurt eachother! Come on Grammie, tight pants, panting, sweaty BIG MEN.... yummy. Plus that beautiful scene where the QB puts the ball 40 yards downfield into the receivers hands and the guy just flies to the endzone. Nothing as pretty to me as watching Joe Montana throw to Jerry Rice then watching Jerry stretch out like a racehorse and run. It's a beautiful thing.

Meanwhile, nearly 3 year old Benny is back to normal after better than a week. We started last Monday with vomiting and completely abnormal behavior for him. The vet thought it was something horrible like liver or pancreas disease of some sort. The vet-web site showed me that no matter what blood work, x-rays or other tests were done, if the trouble was liver or pancreas then one could show up as another and treating one would not necessarily fix the problems, he'd likely hide and refuse to eat and get dehydrated and eventually die. The vet started with blood work, although he wanted to run the $300+ gambit, I refused to let him. The blood work showed a high white cell count, and his temperature was high. They wanted to give Ben fluids ($32 for a 1-1/2 cup infusion under the skin) -- nope. I did let him sell me 14 days worth of antibiotics, of which we used 1 day. Ben got better on his own, first figuring out he didn't like being forced to drink water with a syringe in his mouth, so he got back to wanting to eat, and got out from under the sofa, and took up drinking water again, then he's finally talking and back to tripping me on the way to the kitchen every morning. I thought sure I was going to lose my little black Benny, but guess he's going to be around a while longer. (I should probably call him little African-American Benny).

Hey, where's my footnote?

2007-01-12T17:43:00.000-08:00

Well, darn it, it's supposed to be here. I edited, answered the questions, checked the boxes, but no footnote down there. Well, at least I did away with "That Cleaning Lady" and put in my name. Since most of you know I'm a cleaning lady, I thought it was time for a more personalized name.

We're hanging in here, the weather has moved on east of us, and everywhere in town are trees and fences laying over. SO sad to see those 100+ year old trees fallen down, and all the destruction caused! Lots of people came to the aid of those in need when the trees hit power lines and so many were (and some still are) out of power. I don't remember when I was little being without power for more than maybe a day, Dad would build a fire in the fireplace, and we'd sit around and talk, or I'd read by a lantern and go to bed early. Saddens me to have it confirmed just how reliant on electricity we are. One of my clients wanted to watch TV so went to a motel. He wasn't concerned about being cold or being hungry for hot food, he just needed that idiot box. Another couple were without power from Sunday night to Wednesday night, they had to toss out a bunch of food that went soft in the freezer, and refused to go to a motel, they just bundled up and waited it out. They did go to their daughters' house on Tuesday night though since the daughter's power went back on finally.
Oh - by the way - that reminds me, those of you that have power-garage door openers. PLEASE make sure you know that you can open the door even if the power is out!!! The above noted daughter of the client was stranded in her house for 2 days because didn't know that the funny red cord hanging down from the garage door opener is an emergency opener!! What do you think would happen if the house caught fire and the firefighters needed to get the car out of the garage? Do you think they just bust open the door?? Nope, they pull the little handle and then the opener dis-engages, and you can roll the door right on up. Neato- huh?
We had no damage to trees or roof thank God. Lots of people's entire roof's blew away in the storm on Sunday. There was no one killed in town, and thank God again.

Amanda is getting ready to move her and Fay into a little one-bedroom apartment. I had the chance to talk to Useless Man last night, and advise him that I spent 15 years hunting down deadbeats and if I needed to find him, it would be very simple to do. He knows he can't run and he certainly can't hide. Hopefully he's going to keep all the promises he's made concerning his daughter. I still want him set up for wage garnishment, but Amanda is adamant that as long as he's taking Fay half the time and keeping up with bill payments and car payments and all that, that she doesn't think it's fair to make him pay child support too. Yup...we'll see.

As for my crochetting, I'm done with two afghans and waiting for yarn for a 3rd. I'm going to be reading a new Ron Franscell book (see his blog at Under The News) the book is called Fall, and I have read The Deadline and Angel Fire by him. I really enjoy Ron's writing, he writes just like he talks according to my Gram - and she would know, they are personal friends.

Oh, about lost Benny to the local owl the other night. I was washing dishes and looking out the kitchen window, saw the swoop and wings diving into our yard, and suddenly there was Ben on the cat perch in the front window, his eyes about as big as saucers. Guess he out-ran the bird, boy am I thankful to God one more time. Guess ol' owly might have tried for Buddy, but Bud weighs 30 pounds, probably too big for the owl to carry. I'll have to ask Morgan about that (Token Hippie). Meanwhile, take good care all, and good luck with your income taxes!!

In case it's not there -- the footnote is supposed to read:
Following Jesus, and tripping over the cats!! Jana

Adding a footnote

2007-01-06T15:03:00.000-08:00

Well, thanks to Claudia I felt like wandering a bit through the editing parts today to see if I can get to the place where I don't have to sign on every single blankety time I want to do something on Blogger. I think I found it, we'll see. Meanwhile I found the place to add a footnote, and I'll be interested to see if that works too.

Life goes on in Rock Island. Last night we got a wind storm that knocked over nearly all the trash cans in the area. We have someone's trash over on the fence that one of us will have to go get. The nice trash men that got the cans today had to get out of the truck and turn up nearly all of them, sorry guys!!! Of course if they were on regular schedule (Friday) the cans would have been emptied and put away before the wind hit. It rained too, but didn't clear out the snow like we were hoping it would.

Amanda and Fay are moving into a little one-bedroom apartment on the 15th. Useless man has admitted to a mid-life crisis (at 32) and is leaving them to go find himself. He says he's not happy and kindling a romance with an old acquaintance made him realize he was unhappy. Well dogonne it, honey, happiness is what you make of it, and committment isn't always about being happy. It's about being committed and standing by the relationship. It's about holding the hand of the person that Jesus put into your life, come what may, and not wandering off to greener pastures just because you feel like you're pushing 40 and never got that Ferrari or the trip to Tahiti that you always thought you should have. What about Fay? Well, Amanda says that she and Him are going to remain friendly, that he's going to take Fay home every night that Amanda works, and take her back to Amanda in the morning. That he's going to keep paying the bills and supporting his daughter. Yaaa.... well, we'll see. Amanda is advised to advise HIM that as long as things stay friendly between them and he keeps up his end of the bargain he don't have to deal with ME. LEMME AT 'IM PLEASE!!! She poo-poo's my suggestion to get an attorney and lay out the details in writing right now!! To get his wage attachment set up right now!!! Nope, she says we're friends and its all going to be fine, yep, right, until Miss Right(now anyway) show's up and starts making demands on HIS time and money and Fay gets the short end.

Fay is coming out here for the night as Amanda is working and I miss my little Star Baby. We're going to get groceries and visit an old friend of mine that has a little chijuaua (spelling?) puppy that's only about 6" high, Tinker and Fay are going to get along famously I hope. =-).

All this business with Amanda and Useless Man really have made me feel more like its time for Chris and I to get serious about US and get married for real. It's been 6 years in March that we've been together, and living together for over 3, it's time. I just want a little ceremony with him and me and a JP in the rose garden at the courthouse. No diamonds either, just a little gold band will be fine. I even think I'll take his name... =-). I know he's worried that now that they are split up that I'll be even more involved with Fay and Amanda and he'll have less time than he does now. Well, maybe he'll have to think about giving up the graveyard shift and being home at night where a man belongs. We're still deciding on color of the sofa, and now we're talking wall paint and carpet. Oh my gosh... I know my mama is smiling down and laughing about it all, reminding me of that $10 drape. =-) Hope my new footnote is there!!

2006, the year in review

2007-01-02T22:52:00.000-08:00

Well, my 2006 wasn't too bad really... all things considered, and the alternative in mind: (death, homelessness, illness, birth of triplets).

My daughter and her daughter moved back to Wenatchee from Everett, eliminating a 3 hour (and 2 mountain pass) trip for me to see them.
Because they are here, I have been able to see them when I want to, and become closer to both of them, which wouldn't have happened if they were still in Everett. Fay is in great health and coming along pretty good for an 18-month old firecracker!! She's the sun in my heart every day, and I thank God so much for her.

My business has grown, and I've become a lot better business person and housekeeper. The increase was small, but heck, an increase in any amount is forward motion. No clients passed away this year, but two families moved into assisted living housing. Had a few starts and stops, but mostly retained the same clientelle, and had NO bounced checks from clients this year.

Chris and I have been together 6 years this March. Show of hands of people that have been in One relationship with the SAME person (without screwing around with anyone else) for at least that long? Pointing out that it takes a LOT OF WORK to hold a relationship together. Besides, he has been putting up with ME, and my cats for this long.

I enjoyed a relatively healthy year; only a couple small colds, and one migraine (which was my fault for eating potstickers and dipping sauce). Started exercising again now that I'm healed up and feel like I can rebound again -No that's not relationship rebound, that's a round small trampoline devise that you jump on. We hiked some and walked some and took some nice long drives. Ok, and the broken ankle, that was bad, cost me the hiking and camping season, plus I put on 20 pounds sitting around healing up and feeling sorry for myself.

Except for one 24 hour period, our power, phone and kitchen devices have worked all year. We did replace the hot water tank and the bathroom ceiling fan, both of which went T.U. without notice. Chris had one bout of illness that he said anything about all year, otherwise, he has been healthy too. He bought two guitars, one that he had to return because of a broken fret board. The replacement isn't here yet, but he's still hopeful. His parents and grandmothers are in good health, his sister got married in August, and so far seems to be continuing to be happy. The computer has worked well, except for that time when Microsoft insisted we had to change to MS 7.0 software, since we're on dialup, it took DAYS to download. Chris refuses to go modern and get a DSL, and I do tend to agree, after all if we could download better and faster, we'd just be on the computer more than we are already.

My 91 year old grandmother is still in remarkable health(my dad's mother). She is healing up from her second broken hip, but heck at her age, who hasn't broken something? She has forgiven me (or at least is talking to me), and for that I am very very grateful indeed. My aunt and uncle are still in good health too, and my Gram is staying with them while she's healing up, how's that for a great daughter?? I "met" Ron Franscell (Under The News) and have enjoyed two of his excellent books, the new one "Fall" is in my bookshelf just waiting for me to stop wandering around for a while and pick it up!! He's a good friend of my Gram's too by the way.

Guess we have to talk about these cats. No changes in count or health in the past year. Benjamin has really become the domesti-kitty. He was up in my lap licking ice cream tonight. Now, he's up on my bed (no not allowed, but of course he is #1 cat). From the skinny wild and sick little comanche that was mooching food just 3 years ago, he has grown into a very handsome sleek and fat black kitty with a serious love for his MA, as he calls me. He even tried to cuddle up with Bud in the chair the other night, but Bud had a screaming flipping fit, and so Benny slunk away, dejected. Bud and Shadow are the middle kids and doing fine. Sassy the oldest at 13 is still mean and holds her own in a fight for the favorite chair.

Looking forward to 2007, already there have been a couple highlights. Amanda's useless man is going down the road finally. He met someone and is suddenly unhappy and needs his space. I wish I could send him to the moon. Jesus please help me to be helpful and forgiving and shut up and let You to do Your good works in Your own time, and thank You for sending that man out of my daughter's life. Chris found a sofa he likes and we're going to order it in the next couple days, it's L shaped from the Sera Company and a dark brown/red color. I'm excited, we both get a couch!! Hopefully Gatina is back from her holiday and had a great time in Egypt. Maybe we'll hear from Mrs. Angry someday soon too. I'm always thinking of Claudia and praying for her health and strength to stop smoking. Hoping Grammie had a great holiday season and has some new pics of Owen to share, I haven't been blog-reading for a while, been busy getting through the end of the year, and jacking my own jaw right here! Take care!!!

SHUT UP THAT DOG!!!

2006-12-29T06:35:00.000-08:00

Well, our neighbor dog started in at 6AM today, yap-yap-yap... It's now 6:50 and she's still at it. If not for the 2 feet of snow outside and the fact that I'm still in my PJ's, I'd be out there now pounding on their stupid door and making sure they know just how unhappy I am about the dog.

How is it that someone with a barking dog IN THEIR YARD can't hear it?? Why do people let their dogs go on and on and on outside like that?? Is there some STUPID gene that people are born with that allows them to somehow not HEAR the dog barking 10 feet from the back door?

Now, don't get me wrong, please. I truly like dogs, have had them all my growing up life. Just because I don't have any now doesn't mean I don't like them. Where I have the issue is in poor owners who don't control the animals. Dogs that bark, poop all over or threaten people (like the doberman of the drug dealers that live a few houses down). Last winter I saw an unleashed dog on the beach chase down and attack a small poodle type dog that was on a leash. The owners of the unleashed on - fat, non-english speaking people - just yelled and pointed at the doggie over their hot dogs and soda pops. Finally after the attack was over, the fat guy picked up the attacking dog and carried it back to somewhere it could be locked in. Hopefully the people in the motel room didn't mind the barking. The woman with the poodle just carried it off, hopefully it survived and wasn't damaged too badly.

Meanwhile, we're still getting snowed on, and the city is behind in removal of said snow. There is a berm in the middle lane of most major roads through the city, which cuts down road availability and makes for more traffic jams, and more headaches of course. My favorite subject - Cell Phones!! - comes into play here again. How is it that someone driving on ice and snow feels they have the skills to maneuver one-handed while yapping to someone on the phone? Of course it's 99% young people who don't have the skills to tie their shoelaces let alone handle anything fast and heavy like a car. The Seattle news yesterday showed a dozen wrecks because of the black ice and fog. Damage location? Front ends... gee does that mean the driver was following too close and couldn't control the slide into the rear of the car 2" in front? Wonder why.

Oh, and the dog is still barking...Happy New Year.

Got Porkert?

2006-12-11T18:43:00.000-08:00

Do you have one of these grinders? I was given one that doesn't have an instruction book with it. I tried an e-mail to the main company in Russia, but have been ignored, assuming there is a language barrier, I'm not all that upset. Another company I e-mailed said they had a book and would send me on, but their warehouse couldn't locate a book, even though they are the supplier for Amazon.com... hmmm says me. The sent a "similar" book that isn't at all. Nice, but no cigar. Anyway, I have a Porkert 8 grinder with lots of parts and no instructions as to how to put it together or what doo-dad does what. If you have one, and would like to share a copy with me, I'd be more than glad to pay for the cost of copy and sending it to me in Washington State!!! E-mail to jch98850@yahoo.com

I got to spend the day with sunny Miss Fay (my granddaughter), she's talking a bit more, and walking like a real champ. We went to Costco today and her mom picked up this huge tub of animal crackers, and was letting Fay have a few, well Fay decided she needed a nap, and put her little head right down on the top of that cookie jar, with a piece of cookie still sticking between her cute little lips, and went flat out to sleep. Not there's a story only a grandmother could share with a smile!

Amanda was relieved of her job at the book store. The reason given was that she didn't give a customer the "sale price" two days after the sale was over. Yet, I know the truth, as this is my daughter and I know her as well as I know myself. We in this line are big mouthed, hard-headed people who can't shut up about things. We don't like to work with the public. I learned this out several years ago when the company I had worked for for almost 9 years shut down and sold out to mexico. I took advantage of the displaced worker program and went back to college, started an accounting degree, and nearly finished with that I decided with the kind help of Jesus to start my own business as a housekeeper. Since I work for myself, decide who I will or won't work for, and when my hours and income will be, I have never been happier in my working life. So, I have been bugging her to figure out what she can do for herself to start her own business and stop working for lying cheating bosses whose only interest is their own income and the profits for the shareholders. She's filling out job applications and might take a job delivering pizza's, which is almost as good as working for yourself, at least you get to eat the mistakes!!!

Hoping that Moo's atomic bird feeder is working well and that Grammie has some new shots of Owen to share, I swear that youngster is built like a racehorse, hope his parents encourage him to be a runner! Morgan at Token Hippie had an interesting review of a movie on her site, which I was thankful for because it solidified the reasons I didn't want to see that movie to start with.

Otherwise, Chris surprised me with a new bathroom exhaust fan for my birthday. He spent 8 hours today installing it, had to crawl up in the attic to get it hooked up. He didn't want to do it because he knew it'd be a ton of work, and he bitched before hand, so I told him today to forget it, I'll hire it out, and his birthday present to me is that he can't bitch about it anymore. Well, ever the math-man, he figured out how much cheaper it'd be to do it himself, and he decided that since I was gone today was the day. He could bitch, whine, yell and holler all he wanted and I wouldn't be here. The new fan is quiet and the cover is so white and shiney it makes the bathroom paint look bad... did I ever tell you the story of my mom's $10 curtain? Well, another day, since Ingrid always complains I talk too long!! Night and God Bless!

Back from the ocean to 6" of snow!!

2006-11-27T07:25:00.000-08:00

Well, we weren't here to see it coming down, but we came home to 6" of snow in the yard and a bunch of very upset cats!!
Lesson learned #1) KNOW for myself that the newly made spare key to the front door works BEFORE I drive 8 hours away from home. Why? Well, I made a key for Amanda on Tuesday and gave it to her because we were leaving on Weds, which we did. So I never personally tried the key in the door and because of that the cats were alone for 4 days. Of course the worst for it was Buddy with no dry food in his dishes!! But being a 22 pound cat, he didn't do so bad, and it doesn't look like he even lost an ounce while we were gone.
We drove home the slow way with no mountain passes between us and home, thankfully, but once we got about an hour from home and the sun went down the roads got icy and we had to creep all the way back. The headlights reflecting off the ice on the road all the way home. We knew the weather was coming this way because Saturday night there was a storm in Lincoln City that literally rocked the motel from the force of the wind and rain blowing in from the south.
Well and it rained almost all the time we were in Lincoln City, we got out on Saturday for a nice hike to a waterfall - about 3 miles or 3 1/2 round trip. My ankle never complained the entire trip, but I was cautious worried about tripping over something and breaking it again. Big ninny huh? We had a nice sattelite TV in the room and a very nice kitchen we ate well and watched the storms roll in. Never saw any whales(or is it wales)? , of course they were probably out there, just couldn't see because of the gray weather. We did see sealions and lots of beachcombers.
I'm happy to be home!!! I get to get my teeth cleaned this afternoon after cleaning one house. I think I'll stop and see miss Fay as she was gone all weekend too and I miss her smiley little cute face! I thought about stopping at my special client's house to see how he did with the turkey and all. I started it baking on Wednesday for him - only a 12lb and a fresh one this year.. thank GOD! I talked him into stove-top stuffing instead of the work and possible contamination from stuffing in the bird type stuffing. Yuck...anyway. I should stop over and de-bone the bird and remove the carcass as he won't do that, he wouldn't even think about it.
As for thanksgiving being special only once a year, well for those of us with grandkids, or someone specials in our lives, or an unwell mother(!!!) we better be thankful every day and tell those that we love EVERY day that we love them and appreciate them,because tomorrow is another day and if you miss your chance to be thankful because you're only thankful one day a year, you're certain to be sorry.

Much Ado about a lot of things

2006-11-18T23:43:00.000-08:00

Well, what a weekend we're having!
I've been invited to switch to Beta Blogger... I'm not sure, but I'm thinking about it. The information says that you have to sign up for a Google account, but I already have a Yahoo e-mail address, and I don't want any others, too confusing for me. Guess I'll have to go ask someone out there that may know the deal?

Otherwise, missy Fay was here this weekend, and boy am I pooped after hauling her through the house repeatedly in the laundry basket with my robe rope tied on it. She needs a wagon really bad!!! Otherwise, she played the drums with Chris for a little bit, and danced and boogied to the beat after she left the music room. She's quite musically oriented, and I'm sure it won't be long till we give her her own set of drum sticks and some baby ear-protectors of her own!! She's so sweet, and nothing I find so soothing as the sweet smell of her sleeping next to me, and the soft sighs in her sleep. Now, those feet kicking me in the back...that could stop!! She ate really good, loves grandma's homemade pancakes for breakfast along with banana's. Much as I enjoy her point-and-grunt style of communicating, I'm looking forward to her learning more words. I work with her by telling her the name of everything I can, and talking to her alot. She got her first experience with horses today, we took her on a long walk - ok we walked and pushed her in the stroller. Well, we stopped to give the horses a couple handsful of grass, and she was just amazed, even willingly reached out for a touch, but the horses shied away since there wasn't anything in her hand, next time we'll remember the carrots.

Also, the mystery of the afghan with no directions has been solved. Long ago I think I mentioned that I used to work in clothing manufacture, and learned how to make coats and pants from the sample, to the pattern, to the cut-out pieces, to the finished product....Well, that is kinda what had to happen with this finished afghan. I asked my Aunt and dear Clara from Tennessee if either recognized the pattern or perhaps knew someone that might... well they both did their best, and Clara was even kind enough to send me some patterns. What I ended up having to do was take the sample to a crochet instructor here in town. She was able to figure out the pattern and wrote it down for me, even spent an hour showing me how to do it!! So, I typed the instructions out, sent them out to Clara and my Aunt, then sat down to follow my own instructions with some scrap yarn, and discovered a major flaw in the process, and re-did my notes and re-sent them to Aunt and Clara. Now I'm sure I can break out that $5.00 a skein yarn and make a pretty nice finished product. I told Chris I spent $85 on yarn for 2 afghans (this one shell/ripple and another rainbow colored one for Fay), he didn't even sniff, just said hobbies are priceless. Yeah, we'll see how priceless hobbies become when I tell him I want 2 sewing machines and a room to conduct my hobbies in!! Move that guitar over!

The yearly "What are you doing for the holidays" questions are about to start, and I have trouble figuring out how to respond. I believe in Jesus, and I follow him thankfully every day of my life.. but I don't celebrate the December 25th version of Christmas, because it's a bunch of hoo-haw designed by merchants to depleat their merchandise so they don't have to inventory and pay taxes on it. I refuse to stress, and go broke in honor of Jesus, and I'm not going to give other people presents on His birthday. Would you give your son a present on your mother's birthday? Do you give presents on George Washington's birthday, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s? I have been told the tradition of presents comes from the wise men giving presents to Jesus. Ok, fine, I give Jesus 3 presents every day: my love, honor, and loyalty. I don't know what day Jesus was born on, though I firmly believe his birth was in the springtime, late March, early April, I celebrate His birth every day, and I celebrate the fact that he died and was resurrected after 3 days, and that thanks to him, I am re-born every day, new and free of the sins of the day before. Besides, here's the big question: If you only give people gifts on the 25th of December, if you only stop the wars and killings and horrors of this world on the 25th of December, what happens if you die on the 24th?

Next, we're running away next weekend, going 8 hours south to the Oregon Coast, a neat little resort town called Lincoln City, you can Google that and see what I so enjoy about it. We stay right on the beach in a very nice place with full kitchens and great views of the ocean. Last year when we stayed there in the winter time we got to see whales, and I'm going prepared with binoculars and a zoom lens on the camera. We saw killers and humpbacks, and I'm so hoping for another show this year!! We're very odd people, we take our own food and cook on vacation. Chris's dad gave us such heck about that last time, said that vacation is time to relax, not cook and do dishes! They went to the casino and he got food poisoning from the restaurant there, spent all the rest of his vacation in the bathroom, and he wasn't too happy about it.
Since it's only been 3 months since I broke my ankle, I'm not sure I'll be up for any 10 mile hikes, but a couple short ones will be nice. There are some wonderful, amazing and exciting places to hike right within a short drive from L.C. Plus just a walk on the beach reminds me just how small I am in this big universe, and how much I rely on Jesus to keep me safe every day.
This is how we spend holidays: not catering to a bunch of ungrateful people that suck up all the food, swill all the booze and start fights in the living room. Then complain because the gift doesn't fit, or don't like it anyway and return it after all my hard work and stress and expense getting it!!!
Hey, THERE'S my answer, we're relaxing for the holidays!!

Lets talk about HUNTING!!

2006-11-11T21:05:00.000-08:00

Picture Bambi here, crying over his shot-dead mother. The hunters that killed his mama also started the forest fire that killed his friends!
Here's my issue with hunting, and fishing, anything that people call "Sport".
1) How is it a SPORT if the person doing it is in camoflage in a tree with deer urine spread all around, and he or she (yes there are women hunters) has the gun?
2)How is it a SPORT if the person is in a duck blind with a quacker and decoys in the water to lure in unsuspecting prey?
3)How is it a sport if the person uses a lure or bait on a hook waiting for some hungry critter to come along and take a bite out of it?
Here is my suggestion to all you sports men and women. Put DOWN that gun and the camo and the treestands and the duck blinds and the poles and bait. Hunt with your bare hands! Put some REAL sport into it! Hunt down and kill a deer or an elk with your hands! Catch a fish in the water with your bare hands! Swim out there and catch the duck from underneath!
WHY should people be allowed to pursue what is only having the complete advantage of an animal that doesn't even know you're around?
Better, get hunting licenses to hunt other people! How about putting some person's head on your wall? How about a sportsmans skin rug in front of your fireplace? Do you really think its right, fair, ethical to hunt or fish for sport?
My response to these days of catch and release SPORT FISHING is this: Swim out there and I'll rig up a burger (or steak or whatever is your favorite food) on a hook and toss it out. You swim up and take a big old bite, get that hook way down deep in your mouth, then I'll haul you in while you fight and swim madly in the other direction. After I tire you out, I'll haul you into the boat and unhook you, then take pictures with you and weigh and measure you, then after a while, I'll toss you back overboard, happy to know you'll go on about your day as if nothing in particular happened. Do YOU think you'd feel like finishing your regular day at the office after that trauma? After your last car wreck did you just go back to the office? No problem??
Same with hunting deer or birds. Just how sportsmanlike is it to hide up in a tree or behind a curtain and wait till some animal happens along? It is my opinion that you should be out there nude with only your bare hands, run up on it, catch that animal and kill it like a man.
A client tells me that her son and grandson go hunting elk for sport, but they don't eat the meat, they work to give it all away!? Oh, and they're in no danger of getting lost because they pay a guide and they're on private land. Which means they're hunting someone's pets. Those elk have likely been hand fed since they were babies and aren't afraid of people. Such a big sport to shoot someone's pet, don't you think?? It stands there expecting a snack, you step out of the truck and BOOM, you have a 6-point wall mount and meat you won't eat. Yippee.
So, all you dear hunters, how about having a little think time on this subject? Why are you hunting? Isn't there enough meat in the grocery store? Do you really need to go out there and terrorize the animals, ruin the landscape with your 4-wheelers and your guns? Leaving shotgun shells and beer bottles all over the place? Just what are you accomplishing anyway? IF you want a weekend away from the women, got get a motel room and bring a bottle, after all, that's what WE do when we want time away from our men!!
If you're going to shoot a pet, (or WORSE, a caged, starved, and terrorized animal on a private reserve that was just let loose a minute after you got into position, so you can be a big game TROPHY hunter), then DON'T DO IT!! Think of the life you are taking and the reason behind it. If you want a trophy, go bowling!!! No guns, knives, blinds, or deer urine!
Check out a hunting or sportsman magazine if you think I'm crazy. Take a walk out in the woods where hunters go, look at the trash and the desecration left behind. If you have to hunt to feed your family, then fine, hunt and feed your family with my blessing (as if that matters), but since there's about a million grocery stores out there with plenty of packaged safely handled and processed meat and fish, hunting and fishing aren't necessary.
Oh, there's another thought -- did you shoot it right so there won't be any poisoning of the meat? Was it a diseased animal to start with? Does your properly licensed and inspected processor know what he's doing, and will it all be handled sanitarily so you don't get food poisoning? How long would this or any war last without weapons? The soldiers have to fight hand-to-hand, no scuds, no bombs, no guns...period.

To Blog--or not to Blog

2006-11-06T08:41:00.001-08:00

Well, got a little chiding because I don't post every day on here. Some days I can't think of an intelligent thing to talk about. Other days, I spend my talking time commenting on other blogs, and there are LOTS of interesting blogs out there to comment on. I try to have something to talk about, but living here in middle-of-no-where, and being a cleaning lady (thus the name), and being one to try HARD to avoid the whole political business, some days all that leaves is the cats, and mostly all they do is lay around and snore.

However; in Reno, Nevada where I come from, an old landmark hotel was burned in an arson fire and 9 people have been found dead. A resident has been arrested for starting her mattress on fire and being responsible for those deaths. I left Reno in 1990 to move north after my parents moved up here, and have only been "home" twice since then. In 16 years the entire area has multiplied and grown so that I hardly recognize my little home town anymore. I went to school from 3rd grade through graduation in 1980 there with most of the same kids. With 4 high schools there at the time, there were choices to make, and since I was zoned for a "black" school (sorry...sorry) my parents opted to variance me to the "cowboy" school a few miles away. So I was a railroader, went to the "maroon and gold" school, learned how hard work being in choir was, and had the best time of my young life being in Mr. Skogsberg's music classes. See, I have always been overweight, and when I got to high school I could choose between physical education and ROTC, which I did, and I seem to recall there was a choice between science lab classes and music, so I chose music. My worst memory of singing was one particular concert we were giving, and down in the front row was Dan Zenz, he was taking pictures for the school paper, well he started making funny faces at me, and got me laughing. I was getting poked and pinched from all directions for breaking face and ruining the moment of Celest's big solo performance. Mr. S. was so mad at me the next day he singled me out for public ridicule and made me state the rules of concert singing, which I still remember:
1) NEVER NEVER NEVER take your eyes off the director
2) NEVER look at anyone in the audience
3) NEVER break face in a concert
4) In the event you look at someone in the audience and break face, look at the director.
5) When in doubt, repeat rule #1

Ok, so it's been 26 years ago, but who can forget public ridicule?

Oh, one more interesting thing. As many of you know, The Token Hippie has some amazing photography of her spider friend "Octavia". Well, last night Christopher and I were finally taking down the air conditioner from our bedroom window and we un-nested our own little Octavia. We have tiny black house spiders up north here, she has a small red dot on her back and very hairy legs. Well, poor little Octavia staggered out of her nest and crawled out the window- I was worried she'd die of exposure since she'd just been woken up so rudely from her winter's nap. So I took a flashlight out and shined it on her, and for some reason, she turned around and came back in the house, maybe she was annoyed by the flashlight, or maybe she found the warmth inviting and decided she'd come back in. Well, this morning, I find her, snugly re-nested down in the corner of the window. Now that I know where she is, I'll keep from disturbing her for the rest of the winter. I'd hoped to find her something to eat before she went back to sleep, but there aren't any flies or grasshoppers around now that the frost has come. I'm thankful to The Token Hippie for giving me a very new insite on the wonders of spiders, mostly I'm happy that we don't have those palm sized critters up here like she has in her garden. I'm happy to that we don't have those huge green grasshoppers either.

Oh, I'm going to see Fay and Amanda this afternoon. I have a doctor's appointment at noon, and more on that later too. I'm still avoiding the political hoo-haw, I do vote because I feel I should, and I educate myself to the questions and political views at hand, and even though Christopher has proved to me that the vote doesn't count, that it's all rigged before hand, I still feel I should, so I will. Any other opinions on it? If you go to Grammie's blog, "Awaiting Buddah" she has a list of some really interesting people to read, and thanks again to her for adding ME to that list!!

Be well, DRINK water, and God bless us, everyone!

thanks to Grammie for this link

2006-11-03T19:03:00.000-08:00

http://kerflop.com/2006/11/02/chemical-burn/

I was totally surprised to read about these Magic Erasers being dangerous in the wrong hands.

I am so thankful to Grammie for the link and the information, and so sorry to the mom and little guy that had to go through this to remind us that just because the package doesn't specifically say it's dangerous that it's not.

Hugs and best wishes for speedy recovery to the little cleaning helper and big hugs to mom for feeling so guilty as to let her little son help clean. Thank you both for helping me to realize that this is not something I want to put in my granddaughter's hands to clean her art work off the wall -- someday when she's doing wall-art. =-).

I use these pads in my every day work. They are a wonder on those bumpy handles on refrigerators and in the newer tubs. I always use gloves because I clean with chemicals so never realized these erasers were abrasive.

No more blindly celebrating holidays

2006-10-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

Well, Morgan at "The Token Hippie" reminded me that I wanted to talk about holiday's, and why I stopped "celebrating" them so many years ago.

My earliest memory of giving up on holiday things was about 15 years ago when I read about the origins of the famed christmas tree. I considered it cruel and unjust for a beautiful tree to be cut off from its roots, denied water and sunlight for some unknown amount of time, then to be hauled outside and tossed to the gutter, no thanks. Then I find out that this little item had zip to do with Jesus, when I typed in "origins of the christmas tree" in google, BOY OH BOY did I get an eye opener.

I thought I knew the origins of christmas, valentine's day, mother's day, father's day, easter, st. patrick's day, columbus day, thanksgiving. But those old history books of yore and mindless classroom drivel didn't do justice to the truth one can find on the computer nowadays. Just type in any of those words and find out things you never really wanted to know. I know I didn't, but as Jesus said: once you know the truth, you are no longer innocent of it. No, that's not a quote for those of you that are digging out the Bible, but there is a couple of places where Jesus says something darn close to that, and it's something that I believe.

Which is why I haven't celebrated any holidays in many years. I don't want to piss of Jesus by celebrating holidays that have origins in bloodbaths and murders or celebrations of death. Holidays are commericalized to the point that the only TRUE way to show someone you love them is to buy something you can't afford and they don't need!! How many people do you know that regularly return the gifts you give them? How much time, effort, gas, money, and stress do you spend to give people gifts that they don't like, want, or appreciate? WHY would you do that to yourself anyway? Holidays are designed to profit the stores, malls, and mail-orders, gas companies, credit card companies, and in the longrun, collection agencies that go after you when you can't pay your bills.

So, I get a lot of guff (same as Erik who commented on The Token Hippie) for refusing to "celebrate", to stress myself and spend money I don't have to buy gifts for people I don't necessarily like (family and former co-workers alike). I see on TV often people who gloat over the fact that they return or "re-gift" most of the things they are given. IF those people were on my gift list, they wouldn't be anymore.

I'm not going to slave over a hot stove all day to cook a huge meal for ungrateful slobs who will drop in and complain about the food, watch my TV, snooze on my sofa, drink my booze (when I had any in the house), then wander off before the dishes are done. They usually show up again around December 25th to see if I bought them something useless they can return and get something they really want!! I don't need a diamond to know how much Chris loves me, I certainly don't need candy. I'm not Irish and don't consider it necessary to drink green beer. I don't celebrate ANY U.S. holiday because it's all BS anyway. Already discussed thanksgiving and christmas up there.... what else. Oh, my birthday. Well, Jesus didn't celebrate his birthday, and what I read in the Bible doesn't indicate to me that He was born on the 25th of December, in fact it is my opinion that He was born in the springtime, more around April (thus the Spring Lamb).

I agree with some of The Token Hippie's responders about the difference in paganism, christianity, catholisizm, etc. Every holiday has it roots in some pagan rite or some ritual or another. There are a lot of people who won't agree with me, and hopefully we won't have to hear from too many "you're damned to hell" types, because I truly believe in and follow Jesus every day of my life. Anyone that can show me in the Bible where Jesus celebrated anything besides passover is more than welcome to stop by. I think people who stress themselves and empty their pockets and max out their credit cards are damned too, to a shorter life span because they're too stressed with keeping up with the Jones's and not as concerned about taking time to take a long walk, smell the roses, and thank Jesus for every healthful stress free moment we are given. Of course all that stress and bad eating will only help out the hospitals and doctors and pharmacies!

I'd be interested in how many of you find out things you never knew about holidays and if you've changed your minds on how you'll celebrate things in the future. Please leave out those "tradition" comments, because that's bunk. Tradition talks have come from Chris's parents about thanksgiving. Bahhhh and baloney. Just because it's a celebration of taking over the Indian's land, making them slaves, and in the end killing them for being nice to the whites, we'll just make it a celebration of family and too much food. Tradition be darned, it's all made-up BS from someone who wants to sell something, or wants a day off with pay.

The Good New IS!!!

2006-10-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

Isn't it nice to have some good news once in a while? Well, today is pretty much chock full of it! Well, full of something anyway.
First, the cast is history!! On Monday I dropped a container of salsa on the floor in the grocery store and of course it exploded all over my feet and legs. Looked like I'd been jumping up and down in a tomato patch). Anyway, legs, shoe and cast were covered in salsa, and smelly to boot, so when I got home I washed off the chunks and put those foot-coverings away till the smell leaves... so that was Monday, today is Friday, and I'm hoofing along pretty good in two shoes again! The ankle is holding up pretty good, we took a couple mile walk yesterday and I've been on the bicycle a couple times too, so feeling like I'm finally on the mend. The coral calcium and extra protein have apparently done the trick, thanks Dr. H. !!
Other good news? Well, Chris's parents drove to town and were supposed to have landed on us for dinner and an evening of showing us pictures from Teresa and Allens wedding. Well, dog-gone if they were unable to get a room here in town, and since they couldn't stay any closer than 30 miles away... they couldn't get back for dinner or entertainment!! I don't have to see them until tomorrow afternoon on their way out of town the other direction! By then I'll have gone to get my granndaughter Fay and might just miss them, Lord willing!!! Now, don't get me wrong, they aren't horrible people...really. Mostly my problem is that Chris for some reason returns to his childhood days whenever his parents are around. He can't shut up, can't sit down, refuses to shut up and eat his food while its hot... makes me want to put his ass to bed because he can get downright embarrassing!! Then of course I have to deal with their smoking...they can't seem to go out into the street (or around the stupid block somewhere) they have to stand right next to the front door to smoke, and when they're done they rush right in and in comes their stupid smoke, which I hate and it just pisses me off totally!!!
What other good news! Well, how much more can a body take!! Amanda is nearly up to fulltime at her little job at the book store. Fay is hanging out with her Aunt and cousins and having a very good time. Her favorite cousin is Ashley (one of her first words too by the way), and so she's getting some good family time. The useless man has decided he'd better tell unemployment that he's working, so there goes his $400 a week free money.
Oh, and rotton daughter and I had a discussion about a movie called The Butterfly Effect, the one with Ashton Kutcher. In the version I saw, he killed himself in the end in a particularly gruesome manner. Well, she said I had the wrong movie, because in the one she saw the main character changed history by hurting the girl's feelings and therebye eliminating all that bad stuff from her life in the future. Well, thanks to this neat web site (Ruined Endings), I discovered that we were both right, I'd seen the director's cut of the same movie she saw, only she didn't see the same cut as I did. So after she insisted that I'd owe her a cold drink and a "You're Right" message on her answering machine, I told her it was a draw, and blew her a loud raszberry in her answering machine. I rented the other version to watch to see if it's a better ending that way, with everyone getting to live and live happily ever after (supposedly).
Also, we rented Click... it wasn't as good as it was touted to be. There wasn't any blowing up, not too much sheet bingo either, very little bad language, and a sad (almost) ending. I don't know, maybe Adam Sandler should stick to real comedy and stop trying to be serious. Maybe I missed the point. Christopher ruined the ending about 5 minutes into the movie, and I just couldn't enjoy the rest. He does that, but that's not for the Good News day!
I'm still happy I don't have to spend the evening with the inlaws looking at pictures from the wedding! Doing handsprings and cartwheels and toedancing steps!! YAHOO!!

The rest of the smoking story

2006-10-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I seem to have forgotten a few major points in my rant last night, so today I'll slow down and calm down a bit and try to add in some more information.

First, I didn't quit standing in a blizzard, I quit about a week later coughing my lungs out because of YET ANOTHER case of bronchitis. I had either bronchitis or sinus problems almost all the time because of the smoking. I decided that since I couldn't smoke till I was better, I'd just quit-- period, and I did. But I must have quit 500 times before I could really quit for good. An addict isn't usually able to just put something down and stop it cold turkey period. I wasn't, and most of the smokers in my family haven't either. My Aunt, Uncle, Cousin (and his wife), my late parents, late brother, late aunt, me, my daughter and her useless man, and some day my beautiful and intelligent granddaughter too - are (current or former) smokers.
I smoked while pregnant, so did my mother, so did Amanda, so did mom's mother, so we were all born smokers - born addicted. Fay went through withdrawals while Amanda was breast feeding her, and Amanda couldn't understand why, she got mad at me when I told her the truth.

My uncle is practically an invalid, he sits almost all the time in the kitchen chair, smoking. After mom was diagnosed with emphyzema, she was on oxygen 24 hours a day, and would take the hose out of her nose so she could smoke (always that fun added risk of explosion). They left Reno in 1989 to move to lower altitude to try to help her breath better. My mom's sister died from lung related problems. My great uncle died from strokes, but he smoked since he was a teenager. Everyone in my family that smoked is either gone or going because of their addiction. My cousin tells me the damage is already done, so why bother to quit... good question!!

How about because he has 4 grandchildren now? How about so he can see them graduate from high school, possibly college. Maybe see his great-grandchildren grow to adulthood? How about not supporting BIG TOBACCO? How about smelling clean air, being able to taste your food? How about NOT having red-faced, out-of-breath coughing attacks in the middle of the night? How about not having to take the elevator because you can't take the stairs anymore? Blame it on your age, weight, genetics... BS, it's those freaking cigs, hon. I love my cousin so much, we are closer in age than any of the rest of us, and we chat regularly, always have to discuss his smoking habit. He reminds me I was a smoker, and I tell him, yes, I was a smoker, and will probably die young because of it, no lack of future health problems just because I quit early.

THE REASON to quit is so that you can live better for at least a little while, not to mention the $5 a pack you won't be spending. Do the math= $5X2 (usually 2 a day) = 10X30 (days in a month) = $300 (minimum) X12 = $3,600 a year. Wow. Now add in all the medication, oxygen, doctor visits, hospital visits, insurance deductables, gas to the pharmacy, hospital, doctor office, co-pays for oxygen tanks, how about those mobility experts that want the taxpayers to pay for your runabout battery operated wheel chair? THANKS!! I appreciate it.

Ok, now I'm finished on this -- at least till someone's freaking smoke blows in through MY car window on the highway, or worse I have to walk through someone's smoke to get into a business. GRRRRRRRRR says Mrs. Angry... I agree babe.

Can you see through the smoke? Hack..Cough

2006-10-05T23:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's late and I'm still awake because I drank way too much coffee today in anticipation of two weeks on a detox program, with limited caffeine. Well, I'm already down to a cup every other day or so, so what's the difference there?

Anyway... I've discovered that two of my dear blogger friends are smokers, which really chapps my behind in general and makes me want to jump on that soap box and ride baby!!!

As many of you know, or do now anyway, both my parents died from smoking related issues. Ok, my dad was a house-painter for 40 years and inhaled way more than his share of toxic chemicals too, but the cigarettes didn't help at all. He died in 2004 after fighting lung cancer that turned into brain cancer after radiation "treatment", but that's another story.

Mom worked in casino's, inhaling everybody elses's smoke too. She had a lung transplant in 1994 and died in 2002 from complications due to the rejection of the lung. She lived a lot longer after the transplant than she would have without it, but frankly and honestly it was an experiment that went badly, and had she known ahead of time what she was facing with pills and side effects, I imagine she would have opted to pass away with her own blackened and shriveled lung in her chest.

I was born a smoker, and started lighting my own when I was 14, one day I realized my smoking was giving my daughter health problems and started taking it outside, then one night I was freezing my BUTT off standing outside in a blizzard so I could smoke, and I decided that's IT!! I'M DONE!!! I HATE THESE FREAKING things, and I've never smoked since then, and that's been 14 years ago. My daughter and her useless man smoke, but not in their rented house, and not in their cars when their daughter is in it... Fay is allergic to smoke and gets pretty violent reactions every time (recent ear infection case-in-point).

Ok, so there you have it. I hate smoking, I hate how addictive it is, how BAD smokers clothes and breath smells. I wish smokers knew how bad their clothes and breath smells. I wish I could get just one of the people I care about to STOP. Big Tobacco doesn't care about you, they don't want you to quit, they want you to smoke!!! How, then, do you think that they keep raking in all that cashola?? Every time one of you says I can quit anytime, THEY put another addictive drug in those things so you CAN'T quit without physical and psychological pain!

So, smokers, realize you are addicted, put them down, and stop. If I could, you can. I love you and want you to be around to see your granchildren grow, and have them not smell you before you enter the room, not avoid kissing you because your breath smells so bad. Hope you don't have to be on oxygen. Did I tell you when my daughter was 2 years old she learned how to turn on my mom's oxygen tank? Just in case there was an emergency and mom was too distressed to turn it on herself and Amanda was the only one around? Did I also tell you my mom was still smoking then? She only stopped when her doctor told her if you don't quit you will be dropped from the transplant program. For a while it was necessary for my dad (and those of us that still smoked around her) to put water in the ashtrays and drown the butts so mom wouldn't sneak them and smoke them when no one was around. She went on that gum so she'd keep getting nicotine, so at least her breath only smelled mildly awful, but at least she didn't continue smoking. She got someone else's lung who had never smoked. Wonder why they don't transplant a smokers lung? Gee, ya think??

Standing in the confusion of the medical field

2006-09-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so yesterday I went to my beloved chiropractor and naturopathic physician. Dr. H has been straightenening my back and neck for almost 16 years since that first fall in the grocery store right after we moved to Washington State. Today I am a better adjusted grandma!!

Anyway, he has always been happy to give nutritional and exercise advise when I ask him for it, and he's been keeping an eye on my broken ankle too. Since he doesn't have an x-ray machine in his office, it was necessary for me to visit the other side of the fence. So, I told him about the second x-rays and the advise of the M.D. to stay off it, keep the cast on, and settle myself down. His reaction was as it usually is when faced with opposing views. He said you are likely not getting enough protein in your diet... which is the building block that the bone needs to heal from the inside out. Not much you can do from the outside is going to help really, except by taking off the cast and walking around bare-footed in the house you are sending attention signals to the brain that that broken bone is there and the body has to work on healing that area so its not so sore to walk on. Well dogonne!! I love hearing I'm nearly right!!

Of course its difficult to get enough protein because I don't eat beef or pork (not religious, just can't deal with the way farmers treat those animals and the indifference to the consumers health....but that's another rant). So, Dr. H. gives me a sheet outlining various forms of protein and the amounts he recommends I consume daily. The sheet says that eggs, cottage cheese, yogurt, wild fish, beans, meat and poultry are excellent sources. I have some other material from the Vegan Diet website too, and I'm re-reading that stuff. There are things on that list I don't like -- like tofu, pork, beef, cow's milk. But peanut butter and brown rice are on there, and I eat those often. So, I'm going to pump up my protein intake and add a slice of ginger root every day to help heal too. I'm going to take this cast off every day too just like I've been doing to help that bone heal.

Now, here comes the soap-box:
I've heard old-timers say "Use it or lose it"... well I agree, if I don't use this leg I'm going to lose use of it, or have problems my whole life with it because I didn't heal it properly. Medical doctors don't want a person to get well, if they got well, what would the doctors do with their time and all those drugs and expensive equipment they have in their offices? How many MD's do you know that tell you if you'd only exercise more and drink more water that you'd feel better, and you wouldn't have to keep coming to see me? Nearly every time they tell you take this pill or consult this other doctor - who will recommend some pill or surgery. And this pill causes some reaction that takes another pill to work on, and soon you have one of those pill boxes with daily slots... more pills than would choke a horse. One book I have--the introduction says "...the water taken with the medication does more good than the medication itself." I have a client with what I consider to be clear signs of dehydration - her feet are swollen, her joints hurt her all the time, she has serious stomach troubles. And what does her MD suggest? That she take a water pill and drink LESS water!!! I'm so mad that I'd love to go find that guy and kick him in his shin-bones. How DARE he tell her to drink less water!! He should tell her what I've been telling her! Drink more water, get off the pork and beef and use sea salt. Of course, I'm only a lowly housekeeper with no credentials, so what do I know?
Well, I'll tell you what I know... Jesus has put this knowledge in my hands to share with people that I come in contact with that need to know that Doctors are only out to sell pills and surgery. They get kickbacks from the drug companies and make commissions for referrals and everyone benefits from a person that needs long-term care, like cancer or diabetis, or heart troubles. They care even less about you than the useless boxboy carrying your groceries to the car or the kid behind the counter at McDonald's. You are only a boat payment or another day at Cabo-San-Lucas for their much needed months vacation.
Here's my suggestion, read something about dehydration, find out if you (or you, or you) really are dehydrated and mal-nourished, and if you'd just get more water into your body how much better you'd feel!! I haven't had a migraine in almost 2 years, my bones don't ache, and I don't have the stomach problems I did for so long!! Take care and God Bless!

Whatever happened to speedy recovery??

2006-09-26T17:51:00.000-07:00

Well, heck... I went to the clinic yesterday, spent an hour in the waiting room among the sneezing and coughing Monday morning group, got my right ankle re-x-rayed to check on my progress -- gosh it's been 6 weeks, and I thought, well, OK, it's still sore and kinda swollen, but after this much time, it really should be nearly healed enough I can drop-kick this cast out the window, right? Huh doctor? Right?
Ummmm... NOPE! The 6-week x-rays don't show much healing compared to the ones right after the break. So, I get 3 more weeks in this removable cast, and the doctor really wants me to go to Orthopedics and get a visit with bone-doctors. I told her I would set an appointment for 3 weeks, and I will.
The reasons are many why this is not healing. First I can't stay off it and let it heal. My clients aren't going to wait and my bills won't wait either. Next, I have thought that by taking off this cast and walking around the house that I was doing some good by keeping the muscles strong. Apparently it's only aggravating the injury and not helping the situation at all. Ok, so I never said I was a good patient !! Doctor blondie says I need to leave the cast on when I'm walking around the house--period. Ok, I'm going to do my best, but I'm not going to stop and put it on when I'm on the way to the bathrooom, or to get a refill on my water glass! If Orthopedics talks me into a plaster cast, I'll be unable to shower, shave my legs, or sleep comfortably, so that is the very very very last resort.
Meanwhile, I'm waiting to hear from MooBear, I hope she's feeling ok, in my prayers and in my thoughts. Hopefully her husband is reading blogs to her and she'll know I'm thinking of her and hope she'll send a hello so I know she's still breathing and sitting on her thinking stool.
And of course Ingrid chided me for not writing anything for a few days. Well, Fay-Baby was here Saturday night, and I took her home Sunday afternoon, came home and fell on the bed in exhaustion! What a little tornado that kid is - just 15 months and on the run all the time! I'm too old to chase a baby, especially on one wing!!! Her mom is working lots of hours at a local book store, and useless man is working too- under the table in construction work, and still drawing unemployment benefits. I hated when they were so far away in Everett, but now they're here and I can see for myself things in this relationship that make me want to feed that man to the nearest chipper-shredder. He's not a good person, he's very selfish and self-centered. Not normal traits for a 33 year old man who isn't an only child. Now Amanda is an only child and is also selfish and self-centered, but she's only 24 years old, and is a new mother too. I give her some room for improvement... him... someone should shoot.
Ok, off to dinner, take care all, and talk to you soon!

Thanking God for Small Favors

2006-09-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

Well, the little baby girl that was stollen from her mother was found today. The woman that stole her has been arrested. While I can feel such wonderful relief for the mother, I still feel some sorrow for the woman that took the baby. Obviously she is in some serious mental dilemma to justify trying to kill the mother in order to steal a newborn baby. Having lived through the kidnapping of my own child, I can really feel for the mother that went through it.

Amanda was 6 weeks old when her father decided to take off with her. We were living in Reno, Nevada at the time. I was 19, he was 29. We married 4 month after we met, and we weren't doing too well as a married couple, all things considered. He told people that he worked with that I was screwing around with other men in the neighborhood and that I was a terrible mother, using drugs and leaving our child with strangers. Now, NONE of this was true. I had just given birth, I was staying home with Amanda and not leaving her with anyone, and I certainly wasn't using drugs... well I was smoking cigarettes, but I was stupid.. and I've apologized a hundred times to Amanda for smoking while I was pregnant with her. (Yes, Morgan, I've been in bad relationships before.. =-) )

While I was tearing up Reno looking for my child, I hired an attorney and got a custody order written, and filed for divorce, awaiting the time when he would get in touch with me. His family didn't know where he was, he'd left his job with no word, and nobody knew a thing. My parents and I filed a report in the paper regarding the kidnapping of my daughter and offered a reward for information or her return.

Anyway... 3 weeks after he took our baby, he called me from Oklahoma City, told me pack a bag, get on a plane and tell my family goodbye. I did in fact get on a plane and flew to OKC, he was supposed to bring the baby and meet me at the airport, my plan was to hand him the papers, get my daughter and go home. He fooled me and didn't show up with her, but drove me to the house he was staying at; the mother of a woman he worked with, people who helped him get a job and took care of the baby while he worked. Thanks to Jesus she was fine and fat and healthy. The woman from Reno called while I was there, and her mother told her I was there, we talked on the phone, the mother helped me get back to the airport and I went home with my daughter.

I'll always be grateful to the family in OKC that took care of my daughter and helped my ex-husband find a job. If not for them, only Jesus knows what might have become of her. He might have left her on the front steps of a church somewhere and I'd never seen her again, or God forbid something worse indeed.

That 3 week gap really threw a wrench into our lives as mother and daughter. That bonding period was disrupted for both of us, and our relationship has always suffered. We're more like step-sisters, I guess, or maybe step-mother and step-daughter. Though I will always be eternally grateful to Jesus for finding a way to send her home to me, and even more thankful that she's a healthy normal person, whose become a fine adult and a good mother, I'll always have a sadness in my heart because of what was taken from us, and wish that the mother and her newly found child won't have the same problem in their life.

Today, by the way, is my brother Rick's 50th birthday. He's not here to celebrate with me, he passed away 12 years ago. Rick was really a neat guy. He was loving and caring and a hell of an artist. Rick taught me to crochet. My mom couldn't figure out how to teach a left-handed child, but Rick was so patient and he just sat in front of me and I followed his hands, and every time I work on an afghan, I think of him. He spent a few years living in San Francisco, and was caught in an elevator during an earthquake there. Not very long later, he want to Arizona. He drew beautiful artwork, and spent better than half his life living in Tucson and Scottsdale, Arizona. He loved the desert and loved the warm weather. After his diagnosis of AIDS, he moved up to Washington to be with family, but there is no decent medical care here for AIDS people, and he decided to go back to Arizona. A year after he left, he died, surrounded by his dearest friends, who he considered family. The Tucson hospice at the veterans hospital was his final home. Our older brother Brian and his family and I went down to Tucson and gathered Ricks things and brought a good portion of it all home to Washington State. His clothes were donated to the hospice as well as most of his music and afghans. He was loving and caring, and though the disease centered in his brain and caused him to become a stranger to those of us that knew him best, he touched a lot of people and no one who ever met him would forget him.
I'm a bit sad today, but happy that Rick is out of pain, and with Jesus, who answers all our questions and gives a restful place to spend eternity safe and warm.

A bit about Fay

2006-09-12T23:26:00.000-07:00

Tonight before I go to bed I want to share a bit about my new granddaughter Fay. She just turned 14 months, is walking, and beginning to do some talking.
I am happy to say that her parents (my daughter and that useless man of hers) are living back here after living across the mountains near Seattle. Right around Fay's birthday that man got a job offer over here, so they packed up and moved right on back home. Both his mother and I live here, and we've suffered terribly being separated from the kids. Mostly me of course, as my daughter and I have had some hard-headedness between us and wasted a lot of precious time. So, now they are here, useless man lost that job because according to the boss - he just can't afford to pay 'him' what he promised he could. So this useless bag of bones is sitting on his butt drawing unemployement benefits because he'd rather do THAT than take some crap-job. My opinion of course is rather WORK than draw unemployment.
Ok, enough on "useless man", this was about Fay.
Every day or so I go over after I finish working and visit with Fay, have some play time, give her dinner, and give 'useless man' a break since 'daughter' is working mostly evenings at her part-time job. Tonight Fay picked up my keys, tossed her little Dora purse over her shoulder, kissed gramma and hollered bye-bye as she was heading for the door. Now HOW FREAKING cute is that?? So smart at 14 months, she knows what to get and what it's for, and where to go!! Of course, she's a bit short of the doorknob (thank GOD!!), but by golly she knows what to do. Mostly her language is something akin to Ewok, and I'll be eternally unhappy that her parents refused to teach her sign lanuage, anyway...
Another thing she's smart about is food. She knows food is MMMMMMMM and water is AHHHHHHH. I'm grinning and chortling even as I write this. Amazed that this little critter is so quick. She does say "mommy", "daddy", "bye-bye", "puppy", and of course "oh shit" but food, poop, and water are just a bit beyond her so far.
I know it won't be but about a minute and she'll be calling me and asking if I'll share the cost of her first car with the other grandma. You Betcha Fay-baby, whatever Gramma can do for you!!

Crummy movies out there people!

2006-09-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

Today we rented and watched Giovanni Ribisi's newest release to video: "I Love Your Work"... well, I hated this movie. From the beginning it's bouncing back and forth between his acting jobs, his wife's acting jobs, his photography, a stalker, a woman he's stalking, a man stalking his wife... geez what a yawner. Are they drug addicts or are they screwing around with everyone that appears to be someone they are screwing around with? Elvis Costello is after his wife. Ok, there are a few good stars in the movie making cameo's, but I was upset to have spent money on this one. My husband is in there watching the remainder of it and will no doubt tell me all I missed by leaving the room in a huff of disgust.
I really liked Giovanni Ribisi in the Postman, in The Other Sister (he played her retarded boyfriend), he's had bit parts in tons of movies, and I always enjoy seeing him. After "I Like Your Work" I might have to bypass his face on the CD box... booo!

Last week we watched November with that dark-haired star of Friends fame, who'se married to some other actor... gosh what's her name? Anyway, the pretense is that her boyfriend is shot and she spends the rest of the movie trying to reconcile the situation with herself. In the last 5 minutes of the movie you find out she was also shot during the robbery, is dying for 2 hours, and is re-living her life. I didn't get it... I still don't get it.

What ever happened to GOOD movies with GOOD plots, Good actors, and an actual point to the movie? My favorite old movie is Spencer's Mountain. Now Henry Fonda is daddy and Maurene O'Hara is mom and they have a gob of kids living in poverty in a mountain town. Their oldest kid (of Hawaii 5-0 fame, Danno) is smart enough and ambitious enough to go to college, only they have no money due to poor times and too many mouths to feed. In the end of course, daddy sells off the property that he was going to build they're dream house on, and Jr. goes to college. No boobs, no guns, no f-words!!! (God I'm old)...